More and more couples are choosing to live happily! Apart?

One in ten British adults are in a relationship but not living with their partner, according to a new study by researchers at Birkbeck University in London, together with colleagues at the University of Bradford and the NatCen Social Research.

Identified by sociologists as LATs (“living apart together”), these are people whom traditional government censuses would normally identify as single — but are far from it.  According to the study, published April 23, LATs in a long-term relationship  keep separate homes as much by choice as by circumstance — if not more.

Now let me get this right. Separate lives... works?

I was married once, and I would have to say it was successful, fun, and exciting for the first 20 years, I did have the maturity of communication skills that it took to have a successful marriage. But the bigger issue was that my wife and I didn’t know how to customize our marriage to work for us! Now that we are divorce, I often  wonder if we had lived separate lives for a few years  before getting divorced, if we would still be legally married, while I reside  in paradise, and she remains in the good old stressful USA!

My advice to couples is to create a marriage that works best for you. Apply the lessons from observing healthy relationships of friends and family, but set your own standards and boundaries… and then tell everyone to mind their own damned business!

If separate lives works for you,
 {"Honey I will see you in a week or so."}
then, by all means give it a try. People make decisions on a whim. Once the decision is made the decision dictates the terms. I currently live in the Caribbean, so I see people making decisions all the time where the wife will migrate to the USA, Canada or Europe or even another Caribbean Island and leave her husband behind to join her later, after she gets legal status to sponsor him and/or the kids. But as she leaves, things change most of the times. The husband wants companionship, she may want occasional companionship (maybe even a live-in "Temp partner(s)."  So the wife expects him to stay in a committed  relationship as the husband expects her to stay faithful, but in the husband's mind she is not laying next to him at night, so he is free to do what he wants, in  his heart she is the "one" he desires.... (men can have sex with other women and not get attached.) Whereas women fall in love quicker if they have sex with a new guy. Maybe this new living happily "apart" works in Europe.
You can reserve your spot in your partners home, Buy him/her this gift.

 But in the West it will take a little time before it happens.  If the two people can  agree to the terms you set you can give each other gifts that remind each other that you have made a commitment to make it work while you are apart.
If these heart shaped handcuff pendant is given to the wife, then every guy she meets will realize that she has made a commitment (even if she is not wearing a wedding band.) Gifts are always worn  are reminders there is an emotional attachment.



                                       

Father's in the Caribbean often keep their kids while their wives head off to greener pastures, with the promise that they all will be united again soon. So I guess this is not so new in Latin America and Caribbean Islands, the European influence in these regions, dates back for centuries. Maybe Happily Apart will become " the new normal."