Stop talking too darn much about yourself! on your first date.

Here’s a novel dating strategy to try: Keep your mouth shut!

Turns out, women are less attracted to men who seem too caring on a first date, according to research in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.         Really??
In a study, women were less likely to want to sleep with male acquaintances who expressed concern when they opened up, than with men who were less emotionally responsive.
It’s another case of nice guys finishing last. “The ‘too-nice stranger’ may come across as desperate,” says a study from the Interdisciplinary Center Herzliya in Israel. Ooh, so this study was done in Israel. OK, they don't trust anyone who is not from Israel, an are in Israel.

Here is what women like on the first date, Fellahs. Just listen, really listen, without interrupting.

My agenda is a bit sneaky, sure—but so is almost every other man's first-date agenda. We rarely ask a question for the sake of conversation;and neither do women, theirs often have some veiled reason behind their questions, women usual are thinking  Why Him? Who was he with,  before he met me? How do I Keep and Find a Lasting Love? Can this dude be the 'One"? In other words, with one slip of the tongue, you could be mentally  dismissed before the check arrives—or, in the case of  some dudes, before his takeout kids' meal—arrives. When guys  rudely hollered at a passing waiter, "Yo, can I get some chicken fingers?" She knows she wouldn't be swapping honey mustard-flavored saliva later, with this dude. I'm not just playing the harsh critic here: On the first date, the woman has little information to go on, so she over-weights the few things she does know about you."

 My fieldwork could save you—and help you secure date #2 and maybe more.

FIRST-DATE QUESTION 1: "What would you like do tonight?"

Half of my dates  lately are taken to the same spot on a beach board walk restaurant. Why? Because it's close to my home, and the waiters and chef knows me, and most important I love the sound of the surf. If You're planning, or you lack a plan,  this is the first signal of your interest level in her on making a lasting impression,  make sure you  avoid the extremes.  If you leave it to her, she'll feel like she's just taking a number, a process of elimination.
Here is - a tongue in cheek - experience.        disclaimer: NOT My experience.

 A while back, I picked up a lovely date at her parent's home.

I managed to  scraped together some money to take her to a fancy restaurant.

She ordered the most expensive items on the menu . . . Patron tequila, shrimp cocktail, foie gras. lobster, Dom Perignon champagne.

I asked her, "Does your mother feed you like that when you eat at home?"

"No," she replied, "but my mother's not expecting a blow job tonight."

I said, "Would you care for dessert!"


So if you sound desperate to impress her, you'll probably just make her a little uncomfortable. When men spend a lot of money on a first date, women wonder, "What do I have to give in return?" Don't put that pressure on her.
Play it safe by offering two options—one traditional and a bit upscale (say, a steak dinner or a pasta restaurant), the other little adventurous and less pricey (maybe sushi and a walk downtown).
 Just don't suggest a movie. You can't assess chemistry—the kind that involves conversation—in a darkened theater.. this does not work, it never did for anyone I know.

FIRST-DATE QUESTION 2: "What do you do for a living?"

Yes, they will be probing for Intel about your position and income. But it's not because they want to dip into your savings or 401K, right away.... They want to make sure if they like you that your assets are an "Added value" to theirs. An Australian study found, women value these traits—intelligence, ambition, drive—that often accompany wealth building. They interpret your success as their future stability.

Even so, when one of my dates (just the other day), a federal agent, announced her income range to me ( because I told her my former next door neighbors were both Fed agents, she said, "they make good money" "You probably think my job is pretty bad-ass, this is why I get paid the big bucks, to be able to read the character of a person, instantly," I dissed her by saying "hmm, I guess you are suspicious of every man you meet, and put your handcuffs on the table as a warning,  saying if you mess-up you will be arrested!" Instead of leaving me to infer her success—and trust me, women and men can—be  recite their achievements resume-style, she came right out and told me that she was suspicious of everybody. Needless to say I wasn't impressed. She is 44 years old and had not been on a date in 3 years...... That spoke volumes to me.

A better move: Tell folks your job enables you to spend time doing what you love (like being able to vacation in the Caribbean a different Island every year). It's a way to unobtrusively flash your resources while showing that you have interests in enjoying life. If you hate your current gig, simply say, "I don't love my job," and then explain what you really want to do.

FIRST-DATE QUESTION 3: "What's your type?"
I'm a guy living in the Caribbean, after spending most of my adult years in Mayor Metropolitan cities, which to many women translates as easy going  and sweet ( and guess what, I'm still wearing the same size jeans  from my college years.same waist size) A guy who says he liked "cute, skinny, sweet" girls will freak a woman out, if his gut is hanging over his pants. "Even if you describe your ideal woman, it only makes her think, 'Wow, I'm like every other girl he goes for, or I'm not even close.  She doesn't feel special, and it makes you seem a little rigid in your selection criteria."

The same goes for detailing your dislikes. ("I won't date a girl who has a kid. Or who didn't go to college."  You're just going to make the woman nervous, and want to cut the evening short.

Focus on your ideal areas of compatibility—talk about, having an interest in road biking or traveling. And be sure to show some flexibility. Your line: "I'm looking for a woman who shares some of my interests and who has some of her own that I might adopt." That way she won't think you'll write her off if your love of the Miami Heat isn't mutual.

FIRST-DATE QUESTION 4: "What's your family like?"

My family was not dysfunctional, and I want someone who can relate to "normal." But some folks will   surprised even me. A lady I dateda long time ago revealed, "My dad's kind of an asshole. My parents never really cared about me." , Note: When you say anything that sounds angry or emotional on a first date, it's like it's on steroids. Translation: If you say "asshole," He or she may hear "abusive alcoholic" in your past. Oooh, Oooh!

We all  want an honest glimpse into someone's family life. Just temper that honesty. One of my dates, for example, said, "My dad died when I was 19. But my mom's everything a mother should be." She disclosed something personal without being overly emotional, and then ended on a positive note.

If your family is truly fantastic, "pick the one quality you love about your mother, then the quality she loved about your father-why she married him or had had his child (you),"

FIRST-DATE QUESTION 5: "Why'd you decide to try online dating?"

The most common response I've heard is: "I'm tired of the bar scene." Maybe my dates were trying to convey maturity. But, really, they just left me wondering if they'd traded nights out for nights online. "Women don't want to say they met you at a bar," to their friends. "However, dating is a numbers game. Join a dating site but keep going out—even if it's just  to wine tastings or restaurants (where everyone knows you)—and ask friends to set you up (make sure you like their choice in mates.)

Once you land an online date, tell her about your relationship-oriented reasons for joining the site. One guy, for example, told me, "My brother met his fiancee on Match, so I figured I'd give it a try." Another said," My buddy met his wife on the site. He convinced me to sign up." If you don't have a success story to share (or the mention of marriage makes you sweat), say, "I'm looking to meet the right girl (while he is a middle age guy,) and this seemed like the best way to do it." He is talking about girls and he is not a boy anymore...

FIRST-DATE QUESTION 6: "Want to split the bill?"

As anticipated, none of my dates took me up on my offer to go Dutch. LOL. It was just a test. But when one said, "No, that's okay. It's pretty cheap, you should be able to afford it" she may as well have offered to pay for the date (she implied that I was cheap). The point of paying is not the amount but that you don't want her putting any money out.
Really impress her, shift the focus away from your wallet and onto the relationship. My favorite respons when a woman offered to pay for my dinner was: "Are you kidding? It's the least I can do. I've been looking forward to meeting you." (This almost made up for me looking over her head and  staring at ESPN all night.)

Warning: She'll probably argue with you. But most likely she doesn't mean it. In an MSNBC.com survey, more than half of women said they always offer to pay, but 34 percent admitted to being annoyed when men actually accepted. If she keeps insisting, say, "I'll get this one and you can get the next." That's a safe reply even if her offer was sincere or not sincere.

EPILOGUE: The postdate text (be very careful here, because you are putting it in writing)

"Hope that wasn't too painful for you." I had just walked in the door after a not too bad date when this text message rolled in. I could barely muster a response. It shows that she thinks you're out of her league, that she has no self-confidence.
A poorly executed postdate text can negate even a near-perfect evening. The right one, on the other hand, can turn a "maybe" into an "I want to see you again." Men need to be attracted to women physically. For women, that's not the first priority. Women want a confident man. Sending her a postdate text that puts your feelings out there can be risky. But that takes confidence, and women take notice.

Once you're back home, shoot her a short text that shows gratitude and includes "Let's do it again soon, "  Then a day or a day and a half later, ask her out for a second date."how about some Salsa dancing?"! 
That's my B.A.D. advice on 'First dates' in a nut-shell

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