HHR - Happy, Healthy Relationship

What are your thoughts on a Happy, Healthy Relationship -- HHR?
 HHR couples are 
"Happy couples who have  habits that unhappy couples do not!
Here are a few of their good habits:

1. They Go to bed at the same time 

Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn't wait to go to bed with each other to make love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up early  to do things while their partner sleeps. And when their skins touch it still causes each of them to tingle and unless one or both are completely exhausted to feel sexually excited.

Commentary: I've heard that not having a TV in your master bedroom also significantly increases intimacy. 

2. They Cultivate common interests 

"After the passion settles down, it’s common to realize that you have few interests in common. But don’t minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent." 

Commentary: Ironically, the saying goes "opposites attract" but from personal experience I've always found sharing hobbies is more fun and exciting. Ideally, it's best these hobbies come naturally to you, so you don't feel like you are doing it just for the other person. 

3. They Walk hand in hand or side by side 

"Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand in hand or side by side. They know it’s more important to be with their partner than to see the sights along the way." 

 4. They  Make trust and forgiveness their default mode 

If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can’t resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging." 

 5. They Focus more on what their partners do right than what he or she does wrong 

"If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive." 

Commentary: From personal experience, I know this is so easy to say and so hard to do. 

6. They Hug each other as soon as they  see each other after work 

Our skin has a memory of “good touch” (loved), “bad touch” (abused) and “no touch” (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the “good touch,” which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world. 

 7. They Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning 

"This is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances." 

 8. They Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how they feel 

"This tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident." 

 9. they Do a “weather” check during the day 

"Call your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust expectations so that you’re more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you." 

Commentary: This is such good advice. Given everyone's hectic schedules and days, it's easy to forget to check in with your partner.

10. They are proud to be seen with their partner 

"Happy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact — hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off but rather just saying that they belong with each other. "

I read this quote somewhere: "Happy couples have different habits than unhappy couples. A habit is a discrete behavior that you do automatically and that takes little effort to maintain. It takes 21 days of daily repetition of a new a behavior to become a habit. So select one of the behaviors in the list above to do for 21 days and voila, it will become a habit…and make you happier as a couple. And if you fall off the wagon, don’t despair, just apologize to your partner, ask their forgiveness and recommit yourself to getting back in the habit."

She shot him over BAD sex?

Before those of you, who believe in the second amendment go off on a tangent about "your rights..." let me point out to all of you,    second amendment enthusiasts ( remember women now have the same rights as men do this was not the case when the 2nd amendment was written.)

It  is true that Sex sells—but guns are easier to get your hands on these days. Apparently easier than orgasms, also! When female sex orgasms is sparsely had, especially  when it’s bad sex to begin with it can become,
 deadly, dudes you all are playing with fire. I’m guessing that explains why this news stories have been popping up all over for the past few days. In Detroit, a judge just granted bond to a woman who was convicted of assault earlier this year after she nearly killed her boyfriend of 15 years (let point our  a 15 year relationship is not healthy unless it really a committed relationship married or not) when she  pointed the gun at him and shot him “over bad sex,” as the headline put it. Sadie Bell, 58-YEARS-OLD, actually thought that her boyfriend (of 15 years) —who was married to someone else during their more-than-decade-long relationship—was cheating on her, the evidence she used as proof is a little too graphic to repeat). I guess she believed that the man who was cheating with her really was “only there for the kids”—the classic excuse of married cheaters—and was being disloyal to her, despite not being loyal to his wife. SMH.

People have been laughing about this one all over social media. The idea of a mature 58 year old, woman being sexually frustrated and feeling entitled to being pleasured in the bedroom just like a man must seem like a relatively new concept to some people. Also, the idea of a woman being so enraged about a man’s perceived inadequacy has provided a great opportunity for men to boast about how that would never be them—because every man puts it down every single time, Yeah Right?—and given women the chance to correct them with their own personal stories of being sexually unimpressed with their lovers performances.

It has all made for a great battle-of-the-sexes debates, but way too many folks seem to be overlooking the core issue here: This woman is not stable. You don’t go shooting  people just  because you think he has  cheated  you out of  a toe curling orgasm, when you know he is cheating on his wife with you.. 

It’s not OK to attack your Husband, Boyfriend—or, in this case, someone else’s husband—because you think he’s been unfaithful to you. But maybe Bell thought it was. “Her” most recent man is the second man to face a gun talking about having to perform facing the barrel of a gun. She allegedly shot her husband in 1991. She was never prosecuted. this is crazy, maybe she used the Castle doctrine defense.  Unstable or not. She  belonged in jail since 1991.

The other sex story making the rounds is that of a 26-year-old wife who received a spreadsheet from her husband, maybe he should have used this APP before sending it to his wife. detailing the times she’s turned him down for sex in the last six weeks. He sent the document to her work email account as she was heading out of town for a 10-day work trip, then he refused to correspond with her. We, the public, know about this because the ticked-off wife posted the story on Reddit, where Redditors had a field day with the story.

The popularity of this story stems from the reigning stereotype of the wife who is too tired to have sex, and the frustrated husband who is trapped in a  periodic sexless marriage, perhaps every spouse’s greatest fear. Male readers have spent the better part of the last few days debating 1) whether a wife should bite the clichéd bullet and have sex out of wifely duty; and 2) how much of a gigantic passive-aggressive jerk her husband is for a) keeping a spreadsheet, when anyone in a halfway healthy relationship will tell you that keeping a record—mental or otherwise—of a partner’s perceived transgressions is a quick way to misery; and b) refusing to answer the phone after sending said record.

So what’s missing from this blog post? How much these two deserve each other. This couple? They are two peas in a pod of petty. maybe this APP might bring back some spice. The wife clearly isn't happy with the husband and/or their sex life. But instead of speaking up, she passive-aggressively creates excuses to avoid him for the better part of six weeks instead of communicating with him about the underlying problem.

While there are no excuses for his spreadsheet, there is no reason she should have shared that online, even if she didn't have a clue that it would become a national conversation. She’s not as bad as Bell, but she’s no better fit for a relationship.

I  hope that both of these stories are part of some Jimmy Kimmel-esque hoax, like the twerking girl who caught on fire. Unfortunately, these folks might be for real, and even though many of us are laughing, it’s really, really sad. One last note kids are dying because guns made for women look like toys.

You Just Love What He REPRESENTS! That's it! You are not in L-O-V-E.

MD. behind his name stand for  Mate-able Dude. 

You are not in love. Let me repeat, you are not in  LOVE.      I am saying this multiple times because some of you need to finally acknowledge your situations for what they really are.  Far too long many women have carried on with a relationship that shouldn't be. You used “love” as your validation but things are not what you have presented them to be and you know it. Your agenda and/or your fears will not allow you to be real with yourselves, your man, or the friends/family involved. I understand you “love” the guy as in you do care about him. Hey I love/care about everybody but I know very well that the deeper connection needed to sustain a healthy romantic relationship will not exist with everybody I “love”. So how about you confess what this is really about. Let the world know what is really motivating you to be in this relationship.For those women it is a simple formula: find a good enough man + be a good enough woman for him (sometimes even if it means not being who she really is) +  overlook his shortcomings and lack of connection + wait long enough for him to propose = I GOT THAT RING!!!! 

For so long many women have been taught that getting married is part of their purpose. That having a man who marries them is some sort of validation of their life. Being single or alone doesn't feel good and it doesn't look good in society were every one in her age group is hooked-up . So for many women getting married is their version of the “Super Bowl” or the "World cup" and she will stop at nothing to get that ring. What does this create? A great amount of women who are more concerned with getting married then they are with the man they are marrying. That is it in a nutshell. She got her validation as well as finally shut up all of those family members who kept asking “so when are you getting married?”…You know it’s about time you found a man-- and whatever other crap they spew out that only further fuels these poor decisions. Sometimes the man is clueless to this. He actually believes she is in love with him, and because so many men are so out of tune with female emotions they won’t pick up on the things that reveal how this woman really feels. Some women are really good at hiding the truth. They know how to do enough to make things look good and what things to say when someone attempts to call them on this relationship fueled by the wrong motives. They will do everything they can to convince you and themselves that this is the relationship for them. Don’t be fooled, they know the truth but the truth hurts and it will put their dream in danger. This man represents their chance to have a family and not be alone. He is the ticket to shutting everyone up, and validating her life in the eyes of others. She wants her damn ring and not even a fulfilling relationship, and the fact that she is not in love will stop her from getting it.

The reality is that this is happening a lot more than you think. People are getting married or staying in relationships for the wrong reasons everyday and this is definitely one of them. A price will be paid for this decision, but at the moment the woman will convince herself that this can all work out. She may even say “I can grow to love him” which to me is a huge red flag when she has already been dealing with this man for a while. As much as we get on a man’s case when they drag a woman through a relationship for the benefits she provides, well these women are doing no better. If you are not truly into somebody then you should not be with them.

 Despite what you want to believe you are hurting them and you are hurting yourself. You can do plenty of good things for them but you will never be everything they need you to be because they are not everything you need them to be. The person you genuinely connect with will be able to bring things out of you that this person cannot and vice versa. Every person you lie to about what this relationship really is, is another person who may develop a false sense of what love and relationships should be. It’s no wonder that so many people view love and relationships with negativity and fear (i.e. Love is a four letter word), they don’t even realize that in most of these failed relationships “real love” never truly existed in the first place. You can continue to contribute to the problem or you can let the truth set you free. The longer you allow yourself to hold on to a fulfilling situation with a person you are not in love with, the longer you ensure that you won’t receive what is truly best for you.

So what does she really think about being your one night stand?

You just finished a passionate night with a semi-stranger when it hits you like a a ton of  bricks—is she really cool with the concept of no-strings-attached sex? If you randomly met her while out with your buddies, the odds that you will bed—or even meet—your fling again are usually minuscule, but you should still know what’s running through her head. Here’s your survival guide to know what she’s actually thinking the day after your one-night stand.

She doesn't want to be kicked to the curb!
Remember that you did share something pretty intimate, so don’t act like a complete stranger the next morning. Women want to know that your hookup was more than  the "wham-bam-thank you ma'am. ”  If she wakes up in your bed and you're nowhere to be found—or if you immediately shuttle her out of your place so you can start your day—she’ll instantly feel disrespected.

Even if she doesn't want anything more from your night of boot-knocking, avoid rejecting her on the spot, She’s an adult, and she made the same decision to have sex. As long as you’re honest and upfront, you’ll both feel better going your separate ways in the morning. A hand written note Telling her you like her,  will keep you from being labeled a jerk.

She doesn't want to be cut off completely! 
Women can love a solo night’s frolic in your sheets as much as you—and wipe the slate clean just as easily. But if she’s chattier than you expect while you make pancakes and eggs the next morning, she might just be trying to make the night feel more sweet than sleazy. “Don't assume just because she wants to hang a little that morning or even see you again, that she thinks you're her future husband.

An easy tip before you say your farewells: Exchange numbers or have at least one method of reaching each other. Maybe you’ll discover her necklace sitting behind your nightstand, or you must reach out for some unfortunate STD scare in the future. Worst case if she doesn't stop blowing up your cell and you've moved on: block her number.

She’s listening to you
You need to be extremely careful with your words during your tryst. “Guys don’t realize in the moment they may inadvertently drop words giving ideas of future possibilities that may evoke false hope. That especially means dropping the L-word—even if it’s that you loved that last move she did. (This includes texts or other contact in the aftermath of your romp.)

If she texts you afterward asking about what you said in bed, it’s a sign she may be interested in more. From here the ball is in your court. If you are not interested, be direct. A straight response such as, “I appreciate our night, but I’m not looking to pursue anything right now," should suffice.

She might want more
Take it in—you both probably just had an incredible night of uninhibited sex. “You’re always trying to bring you’re A-game for a hot—and worth it—one-night stand. The big problem is it could leave both of you wanting more of—possibly—the best sex of your lives. “If she enjoyed the sex, it may be harder for her to accept this is the last time she will see you.



When women orgasm, 
they release a huge amount of oxytocin. This oxytocin is a bonding hormone, and it chemically has a huge influence on the way she may see things. So she may become a high-level clinger if you don’t cut contact early. That doesn't mean you should deflect her positive vibes by being a jerk. Just don’t falsely advertise that you should go have lunch soon if that’s not what your expectations are for the relationship. 

Hide your "HALO"  so that it does not become you good guy symbol. 

Dating and air travel have at least one thing in common

There was a time, many, many years ago in Chicago Ill.  that flight attendant were my favorite women to date. she would fly in from where ever. Call me up and we would go to dinner and then have some fun dancing and whatever. then she would leave the next day... not leaving any clothing behind.. No major strings. I knew that I was not her one and only. so I didn't worry about it, because she was not my one and only. I was young and single driving a new car with a T-top, had just moved to Chicago fresh from N.Y. with swagger. <smirking> I would Love to have those day on video to watch again. Not the XXX part ---but how flight attendants acted at dinner (telling me stories about  places she  had been ,but  I had not been), and then seeing  the look on her face the next day  (because she didn't want to leave but had to go back to work ,) when she  left for the airport in a taxi ( it was my policy never to drive any female to the airport the day after, which prolonged the goodbye, which will mess-up a good one night stand.) I digress!

It's rare to see anyone arriving baggage-free. In fact, nearly seven out of 10 people think their new partner brings issues into a relationship. Fellahs, take  these few  tips to handle her baggage with care—and keep it from crushing you desire to be with her long term.

Her Ex Is a Borderline Stalker. If  she looks  this  good, could you blame him for stalking her

THREAT LEVEL: 5 (out of 10)

Ask Yourself

Is this chump really such a big deal? Exes usually lurk on social media because they can't do it in person. So don't go postal over a post. "It may have to do with simply fostering a friendship—which is often all that's left.

Consider This
If she has truly moved on, she'll be allergic to nostalgia. Look for signs she's dwelling on the past—texting him, meeting him for coffee, accepting his calls. 

Handle It
Just bite your tongue—for now. You may feel tempted to call her out or confront the guy, but opt for a quieter power move: Fill her calendar with adventures. Relationships thrive on novelty,  and planning activities provides you with a strategic advantage. The more things you give her to look forward to, the less likely she'll be to romanticize the past.

Dumb Move
Going all Alec Baldwin on her. There's a fine line between direct and accusatory. Cross it, and you'll only appear insecure and threatened. That's how exes win her back.

She's a Beauty but Thinks She's a NOT, so she goes overboard with  the makeup, and hair etc. 

THREAT LEVEL: 5 (out of 10)

Ask Yourself How serious is it? Sadly, this is common: Up to 90 percent of women are dissatisfied with their appearances. Long term, that could threaten everything from your sex life to your emotional health.

Consider This
Are her girlfriends also this hard on themselves? the way a woman thinks about her body is strongly influenced by her friends' feelings about their bodies.

Handle It
Go ahead: Lay it on thick. Tell her how much you love the dimple on her a$$ and the freckle on her back. Avoid staring at potential danger zones, like her stomach. Your thoughtful praise can help her beat back her insecurity and shout down that relentless inner critic.

dumb Move
Comparing her to other people—even if it's meant to be positive. ("You've always been skinnier than Charles Barkley.) It just shows you're actively monitoring her, which can stoke those insecurities.

Your (Idiot) Buddy Dated Her First. Ok now you can't get this image of her and your buddy out of your head.  

THREAT LEVEL: 4- 9(out of 10)

Ask Yourself
What's the real reason you're twisted up? Usually, it's jealousy—or worse, you're judging her. Don't expect her to be as virtuous as your mom. Dwelling on exes will only make you angry and insecure—and that kills relationships.

Consider This
Believe it or not, this could actually bode well for you: Nineteen percent of married couples met through friends, according to a 2013 study in Proceedings of the Natural Academy of Sciences.

Handle It
Give your pal a courtesy heads-up. Then be clear about what you want from her. She might think you're just after another hookup. So if you're serious about dating her, say so up front and then follow through. The rest of your issues—those nagging feelings of jealousy—are all ego, everyone has a past including you! so " let it be.... Let it be."

Dumb Move
Using it as ammo in the heat of a fight. Making her feel guilty about a sexual choice is called slut-shaming, and it guarantees you'll have lonely nights.

She's All Sassie right after the Third Glass of wine....

THREAT LEVEL: 7 (out of 10)

Ask Yourself
How often does Mrs. Hyde emerge and then become Mrs. Jekyll again? Frequent heavy drinking could reflect deeper issues, ones that may require professional help. Otherwise it's mostly a question of self-awareness and her willingness to adjust her ways.

Consider This
A bad drunk is more unpredictable than Joe Biden in front of a hot mike. And if relationships are fundamentally built on trust,  then you're building yours on an insecure foundation.

Handle It
Time for some tough love. Schedule a sit-down—a sober one—and ask her to reset her limits. Gently give examples of how she crossed the line. You said my haircut looked like a muskrat. Then set a new threshold—Let's stick to one glass tonight. If she can't resist the bottle, put a cork in the bottle and maybe your relationship.

Dumb Move

Expecting she'll change on her own. Hangovers aren't making her any wiser. Early in relationships, people tend to see positives and dismiss red flags. That's a mistake you can't afford to make. Speak up, but be gentle.

"Living the Single single life"

How do black women feel, when guys from other races approach them and seem to express interest?

Should black women Give the White Guy a Chance?

“When guys from other races approach a black woman and seems to express interest, some feel like they are their cultural project! this is interesting, because I have never asked some of my family members who  are married to men and women  of the Caucasian race, what they felt during the time they were pursued. Their spouses never  say anything offensive in my presence, but I wonder why they want a ‘sistah’ when they have not ventured over to that side before— ? 
I think this is maybe a bit Odd! or is that acoustic guitar shaped body they seldom see in their circles is  a major eye catcher!

"Odd" to me implies that it’s out of the ordinary, but I've heard this reaction from some black women toward non-black men several times. while it may seem “Odd”this  isn't the right word to describe a black woman's  reaction. “Insecure,” “defensive” or maybe “counterproductive” would be more fitting.

Here’s what’s insecure about it: Black woman might be  making extreme and quick generalizations about the non-black guy’s outlook on black women—mainly that his interest in you must be some sort of  fetish or something. But there are other ways of looking at this same scenario. There are other black women who would hear that a white guy is interested and think, “Of course he is. Why wouldn't he be, everybody loves chocolate? 

Black is beautiful.” They would take a chance on the guy,   others are quickly dismissed to see what, if anything, he has to say that might be interesting. 

Some black women cannot fathom this. Sometimes they can’t wrap their heads around the idea that anyone would want a black woman, other than a black man. Women of color have  heard from so many sources—including many black men—in so many different ways that black isn't beautiful or worthy of respect or that there’s only one “type” of black that is. It’s unfortunate that many folks buy into the racist hype.

To be fair, I have to acknowledge that there are many  non-black men who hold weird beliefs about black women. So black women you  didn't just pull that idea from the sky. Recently on Madame Noire, a black woman wrote and article , “Are You the Type of Black Girl That White Guys Like?” about her interracial dating experiences. She regularly encountered white guys who gave her backhanded compliments that revealed some unflattering stereotypes they held about black women. These guys thought that saying “You’re not loud,” “You enjoy working out,” “You’re educated” and “You’re not a ‘baby mama’” would be flattering to her. Unfortunately, the writer didn't say whether or not that made her balk.

But to be clear, it’s not race that makes guys like all of us simply interested; it’s the simple. And you can encounter it in all different colors of men, including the ones who share your hue. Avoid ignorance, at all costs, but you can’t assume that a guy is ignorant just because he’s white, any more than a white guy should assume that a black guy is a thug just because he’s black. In your outlook, you’re doing the very same thing that you’re accusing people of doing to you. It’s not fair—but then, life isn't. That outlook also won’t get you far.

In general, women across the board are less likely to date men of different races. Many men don’t have that same “loyalty”—or “hang-ups,” depending on how you look at it.  while both male and female are surfing social media to find a mate.. For various reasons, straight guys are interested in women they find attractive, and a woman’s particular hue becomes less important if he likes what he sees when he looks across the room. while  The black woman  is sticking to guy's who look like the guy right next to her on the sofa.He might be looking for Susie Wong.

The next time you’re approached by a man of any color who is attractive, interesting and respectful, give him a chance to show you what he’s about instead of assuming the worst and “quickly” shutting him down. You might appreciate how your dating pool widens when you stop eliminating prospects for no good reason. I guess after SCANDAL showed some steamy scenes. more black/white relationships have found that multiple shades of grey is now HOT.    After some personal trips to Germany in April , some  Black women knew the next new destination should be Germany for their travel group. From the iconic  cities  to art, festivals, great nightlife, and handsome blue eyed men, Germany is a fusion of old and new. Everywhere you turn there are examples of revolution  and evolution which makes for a Black Women travel. Travel women looking to enjoy the historical yet progressive cities with breathtaking splendor of Austia...
 Now these are black woman traveling  in groups  to Europe these days in search of new love interest.  maybe they will start some new trends of global Love encounters. there will be those who will pack their bags and party shoes and get ready to get their groove back and "grow in new ways!"  

So "let's talk"..... this is not a BAD thing?

Communication is key to relationship building. You hear it all the time, and you will continue to hear it because it is true. A relationship without good communication is one that will struggle, and not reach its full potential. Overlooking the need for it will create a huge disconnect that will only cause two people to drift further apart. So with it playing such an important role in a relationship, why do so many people struggle with creating better communication with their partners?

Well a lot of people lack quality communication skills. They were never taught, or a great example was never set for them. Those that have learned and embrace the need for better communication get to experience the benefits of it. I think  everyone should  be able to experience better communication with their partner. So here are a few keys to improving communication in your relationship.

A. Listen To Understand, Not To Form A Rebuttal

Nothing is more aggravating than someone who is only interested in making excuses, trying to turn the tables, and simply defend their themselves throughout the entire conversation. If you don’t show a willingness to listen and  try to understand the person talking to you, you will simply cause them to not want to talk to you anymore. So don’t get defensive, and focus more on making progress with whatever is being discussed. This will help your partner feel that you are truly listening and valuing there feelings. You will have taken a huge step towards experiencing better communication with them.

B. Be Open & Honest

You can’t expect someone to be open and honest with you if you’re not willing to do the same. When you are willing to take the lead in that regard, you make your partner feel more comfortable with following your example. It may be harder for them, and there are other factors listed in this post that will impact their willingness to do it. However if you focus on consistently setting that standard, you will increase your chances of it becoming a mutual practice.

C. You Can Disagree, But Don’t Dismiss

There will always be moments where you and that person won’t agree on what is being discussed. This is OK.... if you simply understand how to respectfully handle your disagreements. Do not make the mistake of being dismissive or judgmental. That will only lead to negativity and the other person feeling the need to retaliate. You basically set up a battle where you both will end up losing. Not to mention you now make it harder for them to feel comfortable talking   to you. So for better communication you should acknowledge how they feel, and their position on things. Be respectful, and you can always choose to agree to disagree.

D. Don’t Make It All About You

Have you ever started talking to someone and felt like venting, only to have them somehow make the conversation about them? Annoying right? Well you definitely want to make sure you’re not being that person if you want better communication in your relationship. When a person feels that this is a constant pattern, they simply won’t bother starting a conversation. So let them express themselves and get it all out. Hopefully they won’t make the mistake of also making it all about them and consider hearing what you have to say. It’s all about providing balance and allowing each other to be heard.

E. Be Willing To Compromise

If your attitude is always “my way or the highway” then don’t expect anyone to want to drive down your street. Displaying a willingness to be fair and compromise can go a long way towards helping your partner express themselves to you more often. It lets them know that they won’t simply be shut down, and some sort of resolution can be reached. So try to always find a middle ground if possible that leaves both individuals satisfied with the results.

F. Pay Attention To Their Words & Their Body language

You can gain a better understanding of how your partner feels when you learn how to interpret their body language. It definitely has a role in improving communication in your relationship. Sometimes your partner may not be as verbally expressive, but their body can tell you plenty about how they may be feeling. Use it as a guide to help pinpoint what is going on. Tell them what their body is saying to you, and they can then clarify verbally so that you two can get on the same page.

G. Take A Positive & Loving Approach

Yelling and being disrespectful to your partner isn't effective communication. If you have not expressed yourself in a calm and loving manner, then you can’t expect any good out of that conversation. Nobody likes to feel attacked and blamed for everything. You automatically make them defensive even when they may know they are wrong, and your point is valid. To avoid making them less receptive to what you’re saying you have to focus on taking a positive approach. It doesn't mean you have to change your underlying message, just simply how you deliver it. I’m sure you have heard it plenty of times, “it’s not what you say, but how you say it”. You have to embrace that if you truly want better communication.

 We need to Realize how fortunate we are  to have each other. 

If you feel like you are prepared to do all of these things , but fear your partner won’t, well you won’t know until you try. You can only control what you do, so make sure you are implementing all of these  key points so that you have a greater chance of achieving the improved communication that you desire. Take some time to also ask them what they feel could use some adjusting to help you two achieve better communication. You have to work together as a team, and talking to each other is the only way to see the results you need for a happy and successful relationship.