Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye. ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A mature man's attention changes and is now on  the rise for what he might have ignore in his younger years. If there is distance between you at key moments it's not the perfect situation!

 

Men in their younger years would abduct the girl of  choice and may not be set in  his mind on marrying her, willingly. He might truly believe that she loves him and she wants to be swept off her feet. Only to find out that she didn't really want him. She didn't want to be swept off her feet, by him. This is often not driven home until it is too late.

This temperary  romance can come dramaticaly to a halt, as his train derails, when he sees his lady-love-interest in the arms of another man.  At that point he walks around with a bruised heart, mind and body.  He is, for the first time, in his adult life in the reality world, so now he is confused, dazed and insecure. He walks around thinking he has lost her to nothing more than a joker he knows is up to no good. There is some solace in that, but the loss of, his  love interest , he  thinks he  would have  marry someday...(now that she is with another) is deeply disturbine. He had been enchanted with her, but originally was not thinking marriage... but now that she might be gone for good, these images of walking down the ile is creeping into his mind, over and over.  He found her delightful of mind and character. He also found her very desirable and thought she actually wanted him, but she was playing a game, just like he was. His pride has taken a throttling, i.e an A$$ kicking, his heart has been beat-down to the max. So now he takes a long hard look at himself , and finds he no longer likes what he sees. It comes home to him that he knew she wasn't really enarmored with him. In the beginning he didnt care.  But now  he is asking himself, what kind of man has he become? Was he so spoiled that he only looked to his own needs? Somewhere along the way, he has lost the man he has been and has become a stranger to himself.  It is no wonder that his Lady-love has rejected him, he feels ill, because he was playing a game and Ms. lady- love had teased him, played him, flirted outrageously with him! Now the question remains ---- had he been truly in love. How could he have been in love and not seen that she could love another? How could he have been in love and not really taken her needs into consideration? He had simply decided to abduct her because in his heart he knew that was the only way he could make her his own. The questions are now  un-answered as the loudest slap in the face--- ouch!

What was he thinking? The truth is, he hadn't been thinking--- that was the trouble. He believed, or though he believed that given her impetuous nature, she would enjoy being swept off her feet and fall instantly in love with him.

What a complete fool he had been.  She told him; just before she rode of in the car with her new man of choice that he was not in love with her.  Was she correct? Time, only time would tell. What was that thing philosophers always said? Ooh hell, "time washes love's wounds clean." OKay, with an elevated view of the surf, he stares at the sea. The surf breakers crashes, flinging pebbles on the sand and he paces a bit with some of his frenzy returning to haunt him, as he stands on the pier where they sat and had dinner, just nights before.  What does he do now, thoughts of  all kinds of BAD things creep into his mind, blackmail, she has played a role in his life... maybe her new lover  might want to know some of the things she did with him... He suspects that she has not told her new lover everything about herself.  Any Guy, no matter how much of a Joker, does not want to know that he is with a woman who has been  doing things with someone else he knows.... that he is not her first great experience.

 checkout “The best man “

 this movie is a perfect example of how images in a man's mind can drive him crazy, even to violance , as he imagines what she might have felt while  doing the nasty with another man. Oooh, that is so painfull. 

OK that would be low.... very low,  to tell him. (maybe writting  a fictional book  might be the answer) OK she definitely did not want him.... and yet... he abducted her for one night  all the same, after a few drinks she was his for a quick moment.  Here is what escapes most younger men. Do you think you can change her mind with just your cavalier behavior?  What we learn later, as we mature, is that we needed to take a good hard look at the man we want to become and prepare to repair the damage before we do  damage that can not be reversed. By being prepared to repair, we can avoid doing damage, before it is too late. As we mature we learn to put things in categories, this experience should go in the drawer  labeled “ lessons learned”, becuase we need to learn to put horrible businesses behind us and become the man we should be. This is the pre-quisite  to finding true happiness.

 All  good lessons come from BAD or semi-good experiences!