Your Partner Suddenly Starts to Disengage. Why?

Many couple start out like rabbits they can't keep their hands or lips off of each other. this might continue for a while, even years,  Then suddenly something changes. and a disconnect start to take place. You and your partner are no longer happy together and you find that one of you even started disengaging completely. Not even partially but a total disconnect. What happen here? Who (outside source) is causing this to happen?  

Why Your Partner Suddenly Starts to Disengage?
Is your partner giving you the cold shoulder? Have they stopped returning your calls and texts and ignore you for no apparent reason? Have they refused, despite your obvious problems, to discuss the problem  with you, leaving you desperately seeking relationship advice wherever you turn? Are you wondering what you have done to deserve this unfair treatment and what you can do to make it stop? If all this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. The pattern of behavior displayed by your soon-to-be-ex is called relationship disengagement, and it hurts worse than cheating ever could.

WHAT IS IT..... that is causing it? 
Relationship disengagement is exactly what it sounds like: your partner literally stops engaging in your relationship. They stop acknowledging your importance in their lives and let you know, in a very passive-aggressive manner, that you are no longer important in theirs. Relationship disengagement occurs on cognitive, behavioral and emotional levels. As the couple gets further into the process of disengagement, it gets harder and harder to recapture what the relationship was like before, until it ultimately becomes impossible, and you have no choice but to move on.

WHY IT HURTS so very much? 
It’s incredibly painful when someone we feel we have a connection with has no problem letting that connection go without our consent or even our knowledge, leaving us to grapple with the emotional aftermath. From a psychological standpoint, being on the receiving end of relationship disengagement is very demoralizing. Since we have no concrete event to point to and say “This is why we broke up,” we are left thinking there must be something wrong with us.
When your partner suddenly disassociates from the life you have created together, you are sent into a tailspin. Not only have they betrayed your trust, but they have torn apart the world you knew. Though kind words from others are encouraging, no amount of relationship advice can help you adjust to your new normal without your partner.

WHAT YOU CAN DO to fix it
Most couples who come in present some type of relationship disengagement. The fact that the couple is attending relationship therapy together means there is still a chance for them to revitalize their relationship.
Unfortunately, if you are interested in preserving the relationship and your partner isn’t, relationship counseling is not likely to help. If you have experienced relationship disengagement, going to relationship therapy on your own can help you to work out your own issues so you can move on healthfully and hopefully not find yourself in the same position again.


To best deal with what is happening to you and your relationship  you have to confront the truths
the following are a few truths to think about:
 .
1- I am who I am, and that is all that I am. 

This is NOT really true your behavior is more than what you are and  you are not always  yourself in moments of crisis. YOU contain powerful, dynamic, and complex parts. Your personality has different parts, some of which are painful and destructive at times, like anger and resentment; others are good and generous like gratitude, compassion, and love. Sometimes your body reacts with anger, sometimes with love. When you are unaware of these elements of your personality they can control you. When you are self-aware you can choose not to be the victim of emotions that are destructive and painful, instead you can choose emotions that are healthy and constructive. When you are angry, choose to deal with the situation with patience. This is hard to do but how easy it is to live in isolation, as you partner disengages  caused by destructive anger? 

2- I have no time to work on our problems

This is a REALLY  poor excuse, a  lie you tell yourself to get rid of your responsibilities. You always have time for your health and wellness as you should have time for partner and your relationship needs to be maintained. You should  have time to get your body in shape and eat healthy. You have to want it enough to make yourself a priority and you have to make your partner a priority too. Six months from now you will be much better, or sad you did not start when you should have. Make it your goal and hit the gym, work out at home, or bicycle with your partner  when you both want to get in some exercise in the evening . You have time, so make time for quality time together!

3- It’s not my fault, I’m a victim
You are not a victim of his disengagement no more than your partner is a victim of the neglect. No one but you is responsible for how you feel and react to things. You are responsible for the your own actions. It’s easy to blame others for your feelings and overlook your responsibilities in relationships.  Learn to accept your faults, it will enhance your credibility and help build stronger relationships. It’s up to you whether you want to be the victim of circumstances or the master of them. laying back and letting things fall apart will never get it done!

4- stop lying to yourself. 

 Many very well educated career women keep Telling themselves:

- I am who I am. and what I am is enough to satisfy any good man. 

- I have no time to do the things my mother did..... guess what you mother made your father happy with the little things she did...not the big salary she brought home.

- It’s not my fault, I’m a victim ( I never should have trusted him) So you assume that you have no blame in the  choices you made. 

so your  partner suddenly Starts to Disengage! I wonders Why? the answers are not simple ones but they are not that complicated either. You just have to use the KISS  principle....  Keep It Simply Sexy!

BTW this is what's causing the greatest Disengagement.