YOU WANT THAT PARTNER THAT BRINGS YOU PEACE!

Ladies, You’ll meet a lot of people who will inspire you, who excites you, who turn you on and who may make you even laugh or  who boost your ego. But you’ll only find a handful of people who have a calming effect on you, and that is a trait that you should cherish now and later in life. Here are some signs your partner brings you peace.

Words can not describe how  calm I feel right now!

YOUR ENERGY LEVELS ARE EVEN
Some relationships have you excited one moment, anxious the next, and overwhelmed with emotion the next. They’re exciting, but they leave you needing a cocktail or a latte every few hours just to feel balanced. A good relationship leaves your energy levels feeling pretty even.

YOU SLEEP WELL NEXT TO HIM
When you find that special person, you’ll find that almost all of your sleep problems just melt away. Even if you have the worst insomnia, you’ll suddenly have only mediocre insomnia.

This is so COOL

VACATIONS WITH HIM ARE INCREDIBLE
Vacations are already relaxing, but when you have them with a partner who relaxes you, they’re exponentially more relaxing! You feel like you’re floating on a cloud. or a special place in a bay  with tranquil waters.

YOU DON’T NEED YOUR OTHER CALMING TOOLS
You don’t need to meditate as much, or get massages as often, or listen to your calming music, or even take your calming pills. He’s enough.

WHEREVER YOUR CAREER GOES IS OKAY BY HIM

Help me word this letter, please!

You’ve stopped stressing about career things you can’t control. You think about your future, and you realize that even if you don’t become CEO/owner/manager, you’ll be happy so long as you have your partner in your life. That is the biggest success.

WHEN YOU SEE HIM, YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE DROPS TO NORMAL
You can just feel your breath slow down, your heartbeat slows down, and all of your muscles loosen up.

Damn his voice just makes me smile!

HIS VOICE MAKES YOU SMILE
You always answer his phone calls with a huge smile. Think about it: he can’t see that smile. That’s not fake or for his sake. If you watch some people, they answer calls from their partner with a worried look on their faces. But you don’t. He  has that magic!



YOU CALL HIM WHEN YOU HAVE ANXIETY

OK so you are having a BAD day, 
let's  just chill you're my Angel

And you say, “Can you just tell me something? Tell me about your day. Tell me what you’re doing right now.” You know that just visualizing him making popcorn can ground/calm you in the most anxiety-inducing situations.

YOU CAN TELL HIM WHEN HE’S NOT BEING CALMING
One of the strongest signs of a calming partner is someone you’re comfortable enough with to tell, “Hey. You’re not making me feel great right now.” Even your calming partner will have his off-days, but if he’s great, you can just tell him to shape up, and he’ll just laugh and realize you’re right.

Every woman has things she needs in a relationship

Women hang with the girls,
and support each other 

 When a relationship ends we dwell on the past, on what could have been, on all the promises broken and lies told. Or maybe we’re just sad because we have to start over.
But healthy relationships, even when they end, should leave you with more optimism than pain. If you truly loved your partner you should accept that he or she is in a better place and therefore so are you.

Now, stop feeling sorry for yourself and get out there and enjoy life. I can assure you that your Ex has moved on and is having a blast! ~ Michael Baisden



My perspective on what men can do to not repeat the past mistakes that usually cause relationships to end:

If you screw up you might have to chase her all over again.
to get her back!

Women want her man to be someone they can rely on, depend on and confide in along with making her feel secure , happy and loved.  However, when things like insensitive remarks , little hurts and frustration pile up in a long term relationship, she might get to the point where she simply says" enough is enough" and asked you to leave, or she leaves. 
It's a general rule that when your Lady decides to leave, you've done something wrong. Chances are, you've done a lot of things wrong and depending on your situation she probably left you for reasons you din't think about until after it's over. 
Take note of the following things that could cause a relationship to go South.. ....permanently: 


Lack of Attention
Women love it when their men notice things about them and actually talks and listens to them. If there is lack of communication and she notices, she's  likely to feel unsatisfied in the relationship even if every thing else is going well. Listen to her when she talks. If she doesn't feel like she's receiving love and attention from you , she'll eventually start thinking she can find someone who will treat her right.

Lack of Appreciation.
Women do a lot more than men tend to give the credit for, so appreciate the little things your lady does for you. be sure you compliment her on her attire or how good she does things. Let her know that you do appreciate her doing things for you. 

Lack of emotional support
women are unique creatures and they require a lot of emotional support. they need to feel loved, needed and emotionally connected to their men, women want their emotions met which means t they are supportive of you, they would like you to be supportive of them. If you cannot meet her emotional needs, it's most likely she will turn elsewhere for companionship... 

Lack o Intimacy.

Men often need clarity as to what this intimacy is!

women do not want to feel as if you only want them for  sex. they want true intimacy, which means physical contact without sex sometimes. If you only come around her when you want sex, she will be become dissatisfied and will not even want to be touched by you. 


Lack of ambition.
 Women who are ambitious will seek out partners who are also ambitious. women like to date men whom they can move forward with and they like to look ahead and see a bright future. women want to know that a man can take care of himself and her, so having an unfavorable lifestyle and showing no signs of maturity can make a woman leave you in a heart beat. 

 Controlling behavior
Most women want men who will protect them and make them feel safe but they don't want a dictator. women do not want their guy to tell them where to go , when to leave, who to talk to, or what to wear. dating a guy with a controlling nature can be pretty scary for women and this will cause them to end the relationship.

Abusive behavior.
Abusive is not only physical, it can also take a verbal form. being deceitful, having a short fuse, being overly-critical and belittling someone to make them feel worthless is also a type of abuse. displaying these negative behaviors will cause her to leave you. Nobody wants to be with someone who is abusive.   

THE DOS AND DON’TS OF STARTING A BUSINESS WITH YOUR LOVER

***Note:  make sure you don't have a relationship that is base on a "codependency of interest!"

When two streams are flowing in the same
 direction they are  both contributing to same pool.
Two is always better than one!

Starting a business with your romantic partner can be one of the best decisions you can ever make. Having the opportunity to do something you love with someone you love can be both rewarding and exhilarating. At the same time, getting a new business off of the ground can be taxing and tiresome, and if not properly dealt with these stressors can wreak havoc on your relationship. .To survive your business’ infancy stages with your relationship still intact, check out the dos and don’ts of going starting a business with your romantic partner.

Do be clear about expectations and responsibilities: 

My role is to do the road work!

My role is to do the paper work!

 

Piling the tasks associated with your business on top of your everyday responsibilities such as cooking, cleaning and paying the bills will almost always leave you feeling overwhelmed. And on the days when it feels like you’re stretching yourself thin, it will be easy to become frustrated with your partner because you feel like you’re doing everything. Before this happens, sit down with your boo and have an honest conversation about your roles within the household and the business. Establish a clear understanding regarding what you each expect of each other and who is responsible for what. Trust me, this will prevent problems down the line.

Let's face it  you screwed up!

Don’t play the blame game: Learning how to run your business is a lot like learning to ride a bike: you will fall off. There will be scrapes, scabs and bruises, but you’ll learn from them if you allow yourself to. When you encounter those inevitable setbacks and painful experiences on the road to entrepreneurship, it will be very easy to turn around and blame each other. When you’re tempted to point the finger and say, “This was your idea. I told you that we should have never done this,” remember that you’re a team and you’re in this together. Beating him down is not going to change what happened. When things calm down, address the mistake and discuss how you may be able to avoid a misstep of this nature in the future.

Let's save this for later

Do establish boundaries in business settings: While it’s perfectly fine to play footsie under the kitchen table and blow kisses at each other while the two of you work on your business’ social media strategy until the wee hours of the morning, you might want to cut back on the flirting while doing business in the presence of others. Treat each other at work like business associates. Avoid pet names, kissing during doing business for example.

Our Stock is up!

Don’t take business to bed with you: Things will go wrong sometimes and you will not always agree on everything, but find a way to separate your business relationship from your romantic relationship. Never, ever allow business-related disagreements to carry over into your bedroom and if possible, avoid going to bed angry. Of course, this is much easier said than done, but as with anything else, finding a healthy balance is possible if you consciously work at it.

Do communicate: Communication is key in both healthy relationships and successful businesses. Failure to properly correspond could result in loss of money and a host of other issues that could hurt your business.

Remember no business talk today

Don’t let bae time fall by the wayside: All of the excitement and stress that comes with starting a new business will have you wanting to talk about it all of the time. However, you must remember to nurture your relationship. Establish a date night and quiet times throughout the weekend where you both agree not to mention anything work related.


OK, but should you keep your personal relationship a secret?

For folks whose relationship will be viewed under a microscope, speculated and whispered about, the notion of keeping it secret seems cautious, protective, smart. Not only do people assume most Men in business  can’t be faithful, there are plenty of people who will root for public relationships to fail.

So figure out what  will work best for you and yours.
         Safe guard your privacy

If people don’t know you’re  married, if there are no social media announcements, there will be fewer people, random people, asking questions about your personal business.

Keeps your business your own 

Can we keep it a secret if we're wear our rings?

When we’re in love, we have a tendency to want to declare it. You might want to keep certain details or the entire relationship to yourself but as you’re speaking, things just keep flying out. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But it also invites wandering eyes into one of your most private, most intimate relationships. As joyous and celebratory as togetherness can be, they can be just as special if they’re shared between the two people who will ultimately have to work to keep the union strong.

Young Women & Older Men: Dating Pros & Cons

Speaking of  floating your boat, very few young guys have a boat!

These days dating people your own age is old news! Women are dating guys 15-25 years older or younger  than them more than ever these days. And yes as a man , I am guilty of it. I have dated younger women for the  past few years, and I’d have to say it is quite a different experience than dating in my own age group.
As if relationships don’t already come with their own set of ups and downs, if you’ve ever dated someone 10 years or more younger than you, you probably experienced some of the best and worst times of your life with that person. I guess it’s truly all about whatever floats your boat,  but there are some benefits and downfalls to it either way.




Here are a few Pros:
1. Stability

Seems like the most logical reason to date an older man, right? Most people assume you are dating an older man ONLY for that reason. The fact of the matter is most older men have their “ish” together! But that doesn’t mean that every young lady who likes an older gent is a gold digger. In fact, there are studies that suggest differently. According to the University of Dundee in Scotland, “as women become more financially independent, their taste may skew toward older (and better-looking) men.” Most women love the thought of stability. Being with a man that is well off or just more financially responsible is comforting, especially when you are planning out your future.


2. No More Games
There is nothing worse than having to play the dating games that you do in your teens and 20s. Most older men don’t have the patience for this either. Say goodbye to ever having to wonder if you text your guy back too fast, which of course in turn makes you look  desperate…right!? Truth is he is probably just annoyed by the idea of jumping through those hoops as you are. Even better, most older men are done with the mind games. They know what they want and you don’t have to guess to figure it out. No more wondering four months into your “situation” if this is going anywhere!

3. Confidence ‘ON FLEEK’

At 50+ it become all about our  aesthetics, and Knowledge!

Ladies! Do you ever go out knowing you look good, just to feel like nobody is trying to approach you? Well simply put, younger guys are easily intimidated by a beautiful, classy woman. Young guys are still building up their tough skin for rejection, so they are less likely to try and approach you, and if they do and you turn them down, they are even more less likely to try again. An older man has more experience with this. He doesn’t sweat the rejection, and in many cases he likes the challenge of trying to win you over and change your mind.

4. Knowledge
I'm sure I don need to tell  you how refreshing it can be to date a man who can actually teach you a thing or two, who can guide you in the right direction, who can bring you back to reality when you are spinning out of control. Dating older men is just like that. They can be your tour guide through the parts of life you have yet to see. Many women  have felt,, especially these days,  when they date men in their  age group that they are the one leading the way. They end up feeling like a mother instead of a girlfriend. It’s nice to be able to take a position in the other seat every now and then, doesn't it Ladies?.

5. Kiss Jealousy Goodbye
You know that confidence I was just talking about? Well it helps out a lot in the relationship as well. A grown mature man respects that you have a life outside of your relationship, and not only is comfortable with it, supports it. No more feeling bad about wanting to hangout with your girlfriends. No more feeling uneasy about spending time with your family without him. Things are just easier when you have someone who understands that you aren’t attached at the hip now that you’ve agreed to a commitment.

I'm just testing this theory, from an older man's perspective !!!!
When it comes to settling down, some older men have hard time picking the right woman the second or third time around , so if he  find out the new  woman in his  life possesses the following attributes, then he  might just marry her at once.

You are so right for me!

• If she says I hate to shop
• If she says she hates to gossip
• If she is OK with you rolling with your friends now and then. 
• If you're a football/basketball  fan and she she loves watching it with you, bring the pop corn.
• If she hates to argue and doesn't interrogate you like the FBI 
• If she does not probe your phone calls, text messages and trust you completely.

OK enough with the fantasy!

Here are the Cons:

1. Awkward Encounters 
So pretty much everyone you come in contact with is going to give you those looks and stares, and your friends and family are going to bombard you with what will seem like a never ending list of questions about how you met. You will often feel like you are on trial, and end up feeling obligated to defend yourself towards people and their misconceptions, assumptions and opinions.

2. Parents Won’t Approve
Depending on what point in your life you decide to deep dive into a relationship with a man almost twice your age, it may be hard to take him home to mom and dad (yikes!). Parents can be pretty hard to impress when it comes to who you date, but when you add 10 or more years to your age it changes the introduction conversation completely.

3. He’s Settled 
Older men tend to have already settled their roots and are happy with where they are. As a young woman you may be ready to take life by the horns, live a little more, and go with the flow. When your big career opportunity knocks on the door and it’s half way across the open sea, or around the globe even, don’t expect him to pack up his house and go with you. Older men don’t tend to enjoy change as much as younger men do. They like what they’ve become accustomed to, and they will expect you to understand that.

4. Your Friends Won’t Mesh
Forget “friends-giving” and double dates with your best friend. At least, not right away. Dating an older man means that the majority of his friends are older as well. Can you imagine taking your high off life care-free friends around his stuffy and overly polished and professional friends? You both might often feel like you have to keep your friendships separate from your relationship for a while until you figure out how to mix the two, if ever!

5. No More Shared Firsts
An older man has “been there and done that”. Depending on all that he has experienced in his life, he may have been married before, had kids before, and traveled all the places you’ve wanted to go to. If you are one that wants to grow with someone and experience all that life has to offer for the first time together, this may not be the relationship for you.

Signs He Loves You For Real

One of the greatest joys in life is being in love. Suddenly, you have a little more bounce in your step, and the mere thought of the other person sends you into a fairy-tale, smiling ear to ear. Finding the right person can be nothing short of challenging, but if you are one of the fortunate people who feels as though you found “the one”, here are  telltale signs that he is "the one" who will love you for a long time maybe forever.

Looking into your eyes I can see your soul

Cheers, Your Royal Highness!
Does your significant other make you feel pampered even when you are not so charming? If this is the case, then it is a pretty good indicator that he wants to be with you for a long time maybe forever. While many men will treat you well, it doesn’t mean he is thinking about your relationship extending long term. You will know that he means business when he has no problem showing you and the rest of the world that you are his pampered Queen.

Couple Talk
If you hear him using “we” instead of “me”, you can bet that he is head over heels in love with you. Men who often refer only to themselves aren’t really worried if it is going to last. If he is truly committed, he will want people to know he is not currently on the market and will have no problem saying it.

putting our heads together to solve problems

Helping Hand
You can rest assured that if your special someone listens and is concerned when you have a problem or need help, that he is in it for the long haul. When he goes the extra mile to solve these problems with you, then have no doubt that he really cares and wishes to see you happy.


Future Talk
One of the biggest indicators that he sees you in his life long-term is if he talks about the future and where he sees the two of you going. Those who are just killing time until a better option comes along, go the extra mile to avoid plans. If he thinks he has found the one, he will talk about things down the road such as upcoming holidays or where to go for spring vacation.

Yin Yang tub.. is so us!

Yin Yang
Most people know when they “click” together. It is easy to pick up on indicators if your man radiates when he sees you. Even when you look like you haven’t slept in days, all they see is true beauty and love for you.

Those four words are very powerful. If he tell you that he thinks you are "the one," it’s likely that you will be seeing a proposal down the road. Do not confuse talk about the future with talk about spending the rest of your lives together. There are key differences you will pick up on.

One and Only
If you are the first person that he wants to tell everything to, no matter how small it may be, it shows that he holds your input and opinions with high regard. This means that he sees you as dependable, his rock, and good or bad he wants to hear from you first.

Make sure you are full before you leave this table

Family Approval
If his family hints that you are the perfect woman for him and discloses how he feels about you, this is a key indicator that he is locked into you and only you. Family approval is an important part of any relationship, so if you are “in” then he may just see you are “the one”.

If you have seen these eight signs in your significant other, then you two may just be perfect for each other and on your way to your fairy-tale wedding.

So who is really ready for marriage?

I still have fears and questions!

The idea that women are more interested in being brides than wives is nothing new, but what’s often not talked about is the emotional handicap many women come into relationships with. In the quest to get down the aisle, many women don’t think about whether they’re really ready to share their physical space, merge their finances, and compromise with the needs of their partner in order to make their marriage work. “Happy wife, happy life” is a famous moniker but not one that is necessarily a recipe for a successful marriage. So many women are consumed by their fears, insecurities, and desires, but can’t express these concerns in an honest, upfront manner with their spouses, let alone acknowledge the irrationality of some of their wants and how their behavior negatively affected their new partners. Even when working with mediators, the men often  unequivocally stated we are committed to working things out, while the women are “indifferent.”

I wasn't expecting to meet you, until way later in my life!

The point is! All of their  lives women are expected to be ready for “the one” but it turns out when you find him, you may not necessarily be emotionally ready for him. Conversely, while women criticize men for taking a little more time to get to the point of readiness women think they’re at, turns out once men say they’re ready they tend to mean what they say and be more committed to working through those growing pains than women are. Yeah it may take men until they’re well into their 30(s) to get there, but it’s far better to wait and be sure than to rush and be filled with doubt — and worst than act out as a result. Perhaps if more women focused on what it took to be a wife versus a bride there wouldn’t be so much fear when a man who wants you to be his wife behaves a such.

I hope you two know what you are doing ,
it has never been my experience where love last for very long, good luck.

These days, everyone and their mama want to dole out relationship advice. Ironically, the ones who preach the loudest are usually the ones whose love lives are in shambles. However, every once in a while, someone comes along with advice worth hearing. If you are in a relationship with a person, it’s just you and that individual, It’s not really a 3rd or 4th body… People always have opinions, and if you feel like you’ve got to keep your relationship between you and your spouse, do just that . Don’t ever allow other people to come between you.

Defining what you both want can be challenging at times, get close and face each other when the discussion starts. Up close and Personal.

Do your thing  Forever, For Always, For Love   

Witnessing your Child's birth is Not for the faint of heart!

Do you think he will be there to support me
 during the birth of our children? 

Ladies, this is something I have experience in (so this blog is personal,)  I've been present twice for the delivery of my two sons. it might explain why I'm still so very close to them. My love for them is unconditional. As a man I  feel like I had more of a hand in them coming into the World, instead of being just a sperm supplier.
Childbirth can be pretty scary, especially for first time moms and even more  scary for the man who is asked to be in the delivery room.  The  support of a partner is extremely important. However, young mom-to-be could find herself without her husband’s support when she gives birth . Why? simple! Not all  husbands are able to handle it, and might refuse to be present in the delivery room when she gives birth.
. .  

Please don't come too early

When a woman  is  34 weeks pregnant.... panic set's in , and her husband might  be  refusing to be in the delivery room when she give birth, because he is even more scared than she is. This may also happens to be their first child, so even though her  pregnancy is completely normal and healthy, she is extra nervous because all of this is new for her . She really would like her husband support. She knows that he can’t assist with the birth, but just having him there would mean everything to her.  Now I know this because I experienced it as my first son's  birth it was exciting to me and I wanted to be there, and I was  present... but thoughts that were floating around in my head were just mind blowing.  .

Going  full term takes longer than either of you think!

As a  husband I was  fully aware of the fact that she wanted me  in the room, so being  hell bent on not being there was not an option in my case, because it would have  added to her stress, she already had blood pressure issues. Please note. My first son was premature. she was  in her  7th month of pregnancy.  So anything could go wrong. I knew that my mom had a still birth before she had me (in her 40s) , this was going through my mind like a tornado spinning around.  My wife's  mother also had issues while giving birth to her.  I thought about how I  could  make it easier for my first born to have a chance to make it, so I had to be there to make a difference. This is all it took for me to make the decision to be there, and be as supportive as I could be. Of course, preparing to give birth to  her second  child wasn’t as  overwhelming because she had experience this time around , but this whole situation of a C-section was freaking me out a bit.. being present for  my  second son's birth was a no-brainer, because I was the one who insisted that we have two children at least. she made me wait 5+ years before she was willing to do it again. so I had to be there to help as much as I could... But I was not completely ready for the C-section procedure. The needle used to administer the epidural was so long  it  almost made me pass out. Lucky I didn't, but I was close to fainting.. when I saw it going into her spine.

I got  both of you!

 We talked about this  prior to the ninth  month, but I don’t feel like anything I said at that point was going to convince her that I was not ready to see that process. But I'm proud to say I survived all of  it and now I can write about it with no regrets! I would like to think that my relationship,  by  being there from the first cry of each of my sons has made  me closer to them  even after.. I moved 1,300 miles away, after they are now   grown men. I wrote this post  on my my  ex-wife's birthday. Honoring her sacrifices of being a great Loving mother to our sons.
  

There’s good sex and then there’s sex that blows your mind!

Great sex begins with chemistry. It’s that natural attraction and passionate desire to want to devour each other. Great sex is also having the perfect kiss. I don’t know about you but if the kiss doesn’t work my desire to have sex goes downhill fast! So, what’s the point? The difference between good sex and great sex is being unselfish. Making sure your partner is satisfied first is the best kind of competition.

And while all this physical activity is taking place there must be a deep connection that bonds you, not just sweating and jumping up and down on each other. Some people see this kind of connection as more than just sex, it’s spiritual. If you’ve been there you know what I’m taking about. If not, you’re probably with the wrong partner, so keep searching. ~ Michael Baisden

My perspective: The above description  often results in  " toe curling Orgasms," you know  the kind of Orgasm that leave you totally spent. Oooh wow, so you don't know what I'm talking about!? When two people are in perfect rhythm, your energy-flow meets his/hers and  all is so fantastically in rhythm , no thoughts about anything other than what is going down with you both being "One" and therefore it is steaming hot like  Lava. This is not a freaky dicky  session. It's that Love connection  you may  have seen in a movie  scenes that you think: "Oooh hell, that is just  a fantasy!" But guess what if you find it, with someone, then that fantasy just became your reality.... which can be  repeated over  and over again with that special person. So why is it that most younger folks of the current generations are not experiencing this? A very simple fact... they are not living to connect with each other, they are bouncing from one bed to another or even a  back seat of the car experiences. OK that was the case back in the day also.  Look at your music/rap videos, Kids today refer to making Love, correction having sex  as "smashing", "banging"... "F#cking, " I rest my case. women do not  want to think of themselves in a sex-war. 
We old school dudes understand that, after years of screwing up our relationships, we know Love is about rhythm and not Banging, and smashing. 

We know "There are a Million ways to please a woman".. so we need  to keep   finding new ways.  The same old , same old.... becomes older than old  and very stale. Faking orgasms isn't all that uncommon either. In fact, 60 percent of women have put on a show at one time or another without actually getting what they, ah, came for. Doing so can be both a symptom and a cause of intimacy issues and lack of communication in a relationship. Faking it doesn't help either party involved — the most obvious reason being that if your partner thinks you're good to go, then he or she will stop trying, which means you'll both miss out on your big finish. and you will not cum, and may have to wait until  he comes back next time. SMH!

Now wait Let's Just be  friends! 

Think about this....... you hear him/her say  "Let's Just be  friends"  we men get instantly turned off as if that kind of connection is a Bad thing, but it should turn us on, instead.  Here is where friendship first  can be the best thing... Practice makes perfect, right?  Wrong, practice makes consistent! Having more sex (with a best friend)  can lead to better sex because it boosts your self-confidence, brings you closer to your partner ( friend with benefits ) , and makes you overall healthier and happier. The happier you are to have sex, the better it will be! 

Can men and women really be "just friends in  any situation?"  

Is the idea of a pure, platonic relationships between non-related, heterosexual men and women a myth? For the most part, it would seem  the answer is " yes" and the reason is deeply rooted in the evolution soil of the species.  

Thanks to the writings of John Gray, many of us now know some of the " mars/Venus" generalizations such as men typically use language as a tool of solving problems while women us it as a way to promote intimacy. Indeed, while other gender stereotypes might be valid, such as it's easier to women to define intimate relationships men as non-sexual than vice-versa, individual differences among people will always provide exceptional cases. thus, some women might have a more " masculine" approach to heterosexual friends than average and some men might relate to friends in a more stereo typically " feminine" manner than most.

Never the less, here's the crux of the matter: Within these boundaries of gender generalizations, the vast majority of past-pubescent, heterosexual men will invariably have a sexual desirability "reflex" upon seeing a female of reproductive age. this the immediate discrimination that a male will make when encountering a female is whether or not he'd  like to have sex with her. While women might acknowledge the sexual "reflex" too, it is likely that they can quickly get past it and focus on the non-sexual aspects of the male with whom they're relating. 

The season for this phenomena are inextricable to our species' evolution. On the one hand, sperm is physiologically cheap, extremely plentiful. and constantly replenished. therefore the more often and diversely a male spreads his sperm the more evolutionary successful he'll be. Ova, on the other hand, are very precious, metabolically expensive, and can not be replenished ( a woman is born with all the eggs she'll ever have )

this is great we each just enjoyed the best sex
with our best friend. 

What's more. women must assume the physical, emotional and metabolic demands of pregnancy. Hence, unlike most men who will gladly provide their sperm with little thought about it, evolution has shaped most women to be protective of their eggs and relatively discriminating of their sexual partners. 

These women are more able to move beyond the immediate sexual attraction inherent in inter-gender relationships so they can more  thoroughly determine the overall suitability of a potential mate. Men  it seems, often have no such long-term agenda so the " one track mind" of sexual interest persist much longer. 

YOU have a "one track mind"

 In general, then one can say that men are very sexually " reflexive" while women are apt to be more sexually  "reflective!"

This helps explain why men often misread women's friendly signals as invitations for sex and why so many women are shocked when a male " friend  comes on to them sexually, interestingly, the recent trends of " friends with benefits" and " hooking up" seem to acknowledge the sexual gravity that exist within heterosexual relationships, this, in turn, allows many people to be " friends" without pretending the sexual elephant isn't in the room or to simply have casual sex without regrets. 

Unfortunately, for the evolutionary reasons out lined above, "FWB" and/or "hooking up" is usually okay with men while most of the time fulfilling for women who, despite their seemingly casual sexual encounters, are genetically predisposed to cultivate deeper, lasting relationships! 

There are Million ways to please a woman!

Marriage Is Not About The Ceremony And The Rings

Couples must stop getting carried away with the extravagant weddings at the expense of their financial security. The only people who matter on your wedding day are you and your spouse; that’s it! If couples are smart, they will invest their hard-earned money into a college fund, pay down their debt or put a down payment on a first home. I know that doesn’t sound sexy, but having debt will suck the passion out of your marriage faster than the last cold beer at a family reunion!
I know this may sound redundant but I have to reiterate. A marriage is a lifetime responsibility, not a staged event that ends after the reception. We want the ring but not the responsibility. We want the ceremony but not the commitment. We want the richer but not the poorer, the thick but not the thin. But marriage isn’t a buffet where you can pick and choose which vows you want to submit to. And simply calling yourself husband and wife doesn’t make your problems disappear. As soon as the ceremony is over, nothing magical is going to happen. You’re going to be the same two people with the same unresolved issues when the lights go out! And an expensive ring and flashy ceremony won’t change that!
~ Michael Baisden

I have no idea what he will think or do  if I get fat....  
I'm not sure  what he  really likes!

When I read the "we want" list above... I have to note that these are things women "want" and "don't want." Why?  Simply because men don't care about the Want(s) listed , men go along with what women want when it  comes to getting married, and may want to commit to the thick and thin, richer or poorer. It's women who bail out when the  richer becomes poorer, men may stick  around when things are thick and bail when they become thin ( or the other way around, depending on our taste.)      

We are now "ONE!"

While surfing TV channels one evening I stumbled and clicked on a program title " Married at first Sight". I thought "What the Hell?" then I decided to watch it for a few minutes.  Curious about who are these people in the Western World  who let others decide for them who to get married to. the Brides had never seen the grooms and the groom had not even spoken to the brides. Their families and friends were  all present for the big event. I was SMH. then I understood the concept. The  folks that put these couples together studies their personalities and their "wants" and "needs" and then  matched them up. It was interesting since I knew that matching couples up was not new. But here were mostly people who were so totally frustrated with their dating lives that they would trust others to find the right person for them. 3 couples   all went through with the weddings, with the understanding  that they could have the marriages annulled if the honeymoons did not work out. Or they  could consummate the marriages  during or after the honey moons.
Needless to say I didn't watch the rest to see who would stick with their marriages and who would have it annulled. I wasn't that interested..... no more than I would be watching " the bachelor " or any other reality shows. These are  terrible  actors  trying to entertain us. But I did think about a few things. So how is this different from  folks who rush to get married without really knowing the other person.  Here are few things I think you need to weather in your relationship before you get married. If you can deal with  all 9, then you would have tested the waters and be able to deal with issues down the road in a your marriage.  

At Peace and ready to commit long term! 

1. Understand your own feelings. Make sure that you can clearly state what's bothering you about any situation and then share it with your partner and trust them to understand.

2. Commit to forgiving.  Decide that you will take whatever action you need to feel better about what’s going wrong.

3. Focus on finding peace. The goal is to find peace and understanding. You won’t always be able to reconcile the issue fully so instead, focus on accepting what happened.

4. Get a new view. Look at the situation honestly. You’re likely letting past issue affect your present outlook so look at present circumstances to soothe those hurt feelings.

5. Control your stress. When you start to get upset, look for a way to immediately reduce your stress.

6. Eliminate expectations. Realize that you cannot control the actions of another person. Even if you wish someone would behave a certain way, don’t expect them to do so.

7. Channel your energy. Use your energy for good by finding new ways to get what you want.

8. Look around for love. Take the love and forgiveness that you can find in your relationship and internalize it.

9. Remember that you chose forgiveness. Whenever you think about the situation that hurt you, include the fact that you chose to forgive.

Good Luck, because these are not easy, but then again neither is marriage!