How frustrated are you? Are you trying to fix a dude?

Stop Trying To Fix Broken Men, By Michael Baisden.

Stop trying to Fix a Dude Syndrome lecture.

Some women approach being single philosophically and decide the universe simply hasn’t lined up properly for their ideal mate to reveal himself, or they accept that it’s not in God’s time. Others look at being single as an opportunity to take a break from men altogether and practice celibacy, while others throw up their hands and join the ranks of the ‘Other Woman Club’.

The most desperate act of all is when a woman becomes so frustrated that she begins to experiment with same sex relationships knowing damn well she isn’t gay or bisexual. Eventually the majority of them will get bored with their alternative lifestyles and jump back into the dating scene looking for the perfect man to date, marry, or at least have sex with. And if they can’t find the perfect match they’ll settle for one with ‘potential’ and attempt to create their ideal.

I like to refer to this as the Fix a Dude Syndrome. That’s when women date men who they know don’t measure up to their standards but they try to talk themselves into being with him by focusing on one good quality. “I’m not really attracted to him but he has a good job,” they tell themselves. Or “He sucks in bed but he’s great with the kids.” Gimme a break ladies, it’s hard enough to maintain a relationship with the perfect man but settling for a guy who doesn’t stimulate you mentally or sexually is a recipe for disaster!

Excerpt from Michael Baisden's new book, 

My perspective: Many years ago, a good friend of mine said something that completely changed the way I viewed sex and relationships. He said: “Before a girl sleeps with a guy, she has all the power. Afterward, he has all the power.” I’ve told this to countless friends, both male and female, over the years and have been met with a resounding: “That is so true!.” while others will just state "that is B.S." You can choose to agree or disagree, but there’s no denying that sleeping with a guy has a significant impact on the relationship and can either deepen it or turn it into a physical thing without an emotional leg to stand on.

"Maybe if I cook for her, she will spend the night with me!

Most  of us men want sex and most women want a commitment.Simple fact a man will sleep with  a woman without  even thinking  about committing, very few women will do that, it will be on her mind right after she climaxed. That’s not to say men don’t want commitment, we do, it’s just not the driving force behind our behaviors, getting a lot of sex is. You can blame it on biology and a man’s innate need to spread his seed, or blame it on today’s culture which deems men who sleep with lots of women studs (and women who sleep with lots of men sluts), but it’s just the way it is. As such, women have control when it comes to sex and can decide whether to give in or not, while men have the control when it comes to commitment whether to give in or not!

"Maybe if I cook for him.... he might be willing to commit.
I have to regain my power!"

There will be some women who will argue with this fact, and counter by saying they know tons of women who enjoy casual sex and lots of men who are yearning for commitment. Yes, there are people like this, but I’m speaking about the rule, not the exceptions. You don’t often see a woman plotting ways to sleep with many men and wiggle out of any sort of commitment, or a man trying to figure out how to get a woman  to just commit and want only him. Just as there is a stigma against women who sleep with a lot of men, there is a stigma against men who are super into commitment and invest way too soon. I’ve dated women  like that, the ones who were ready to marry me on the first date, and I wasn’t flattered…I was freaked out.

The truth is, deciding when to sleep with a guy is important and will have an impact on your relationship. And it’s your decision to make. No girl has ever lost interest in a guy because he slept with her on the first date while guys lose interest in girls all the time for giving it up too soon.

Before sleeping with him you have to really realize that having sex with him will not guarantee a relationship or any sort of commitment, <smiling > cooking for him might..... If that’s what you’re hoping for ....then you’re setting yourself up to be greatly disappointed. It seems obvious, and yet, so many women get tripped up in this area. Before sleeping with a guy you have to determine if he’s interested in you or interested in just having sex with you. The trouble is,  it’s not always easy to distinguish between these two vastly different things.

Start thinking  about alternative ways to make it happen right....find out who you are dealing with.. before having to Fix him or her.  What's love and commitment have to do with it?