Life After Divorce: Dating Nightmares!

A  Michael Baisden post on  facebook.
When I began writing this chapter in my book, Raise Your Hands If You Have Issues, it was supposed to be a short chapter but after receiving so many responses on this topic I realized I could have written an entire book! Now, fellas, I know we have our challenges. Some women can be a little high-strung, clingy and combative at times but as I wrote in the previous chapter, I don’t know any man who would trade places with what women have to endure on the dating scene today. According to the women I know personally and my fans, it’s a real nightmare out there! Or as a woman so dramatically put it, “It’s hellish!”
When I divorced over 20 years ago, I remember being excited about being on my own again. I had all these ideas about what I was going to do with my new found freedom. I was with my wife for five years; so I can only imagine what it must be like to find yourself single again after 10, 15 or 20 years or more. When I blogged about it online, one woman described it as “walking into the Twilight Zone!” But the other comments were even more dramatic, especially when I asked women to describe how men and the dating scene had changed since they were single many years ago.

Are you ready to get out of here!
My place or yours?

Gwendolyn wrote: I’m just getting back out there after being married 29 years. (Yes, I got married young.) It’s been a lot of work. And guys are so different. And the game is just corny. Bring back the real brothers!!!!
Consuelo wrote: Men don’t want to date anymore. They tell you their name and they are ready to have sex. If they see it’s not going to happen, they move on to the next one. What happened to being friends first or just getting to know a person?

 "Calgon, take me away!"

Alison wrote: I guess because of the ratio being 10-1 women to men, guys are less likely to put in the effort or stay too long with one person if he’s not getting exactly what he wants. And with technology moving faster than the speed of light, we’ve grown accustomed to everything moving fast, even relationships. But really, if you want something that lasts, it requires time. I guess I’m just old-fashioned.
I swear I wish I could just get married again and be taken out of my misery. Being single is not what it used to be. Calgon, take me away! ~ Michael Baisden

Slow down dude  don't  get too aggressive!

My perspective: while the above is mostly about the new Single lady after a divorce. I will have to agree that life after a divorce for women is tough, and for the most part tougher than for men, simply because will have to become hunters again. However it's no walk in the park for Men either, as Micheal Baisden  noted  he found freedom after being married for only 5 years. So he has no idea what is is like for a divorce man who as been married  twice, three times, four times or five times as long as he has been. Let me try and put a different spin on this. Men are usually creatures of habit, the longer we are in a relationship (marriage)  the longer we get into  habits of comfort. So after a divorce, that followed 10, 15, 20, 25 years of marriage, a complete re-programming has to take place. All your memories and reference points, of back in the day as a g single man, do not work in the new dating world. A guy has to get his hunting gear together to get out in the  dating world, with zero relevant experience. Your experience is mostly of being a married man, that is the most relevant time frame you can fully recall. So do you try and use that experience? Or do you act like a player with old out dated  skills.... Frankly  none of the above will work because as a guy, who is past your prime, you make all the right move, (you think will work)  and still  get rejected... the ratio may be in someone's  favor 10- 1,  ( as Alison wrote) but not YOUR so this can be debated .... there are never 10 beautiful available women just waiting for you... "Mr. Just back on the open market."   Depending on where your live, It's the complete opposite in Juneau Alaska for example, it maybe likely  in Atlanta Ga.. You have to know what you are looking before  you get  out there on the hunt again. Or you will become  prey! This applies to both male and female. We all need a partner that have the same interest|. So be inspired to seek compatibility first!  For example: if she like breakfast in bed, and you like to cook... start by doing what she likes. If she like to cook, let her feed you. However if neither of you are willing to do for each other, what each of you like, you might have to keep  moving on  to next possibility, because you will not be successful in changing anyone who do not want to change.  Good luck  searching, divorce people are a dime a dozen and you are just one more...dime slightly tarnished. 

There are still some gentlemen in World,
if you can't find him on the right list of your items  try  writing another list!
He might have singing skills "I'm  coming back"  only in the shower, after you meet him .