A Sociopath screws-up everyone's life

‘Can I trust you to not  take advantage of my vulnerabilities?

Sometimes a man who comes off as a Prince is really just  the devil in disguise!’

If a woman had ever dated a sociopath, then the  next guy she dates is so screwed. Her experiences with a sociopath will affect them both in ways that will keep them from ever being able to doing things  together in a meaningful way, a man who follows a sociopath in a woman’s life, will have trouble doing things for her and even with her, without stirring up bad memories. Why is that?  Because the memories of having been in a relationship with a sociopath will linger over your relationship, like very dark cloud, causing her to question the new man’s  every move. He might be just trying to impress her but her memories of her experiences with that other person from her past will put you squarely behind the eight ball. If the man  accidentally sink the eight ball, it’s game over!

So why am I writing about this? Let’s just say  experience has made this a subject matter, it’s because we men sometimes walk into new potential relationships without knowing the details about someone's past experiences. We find ourself so attracted to her that we can’t think straight.

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Information, however on someone's past is not always available  for you to scrutinize. If a person does protest too much then they are reliving an experience that does not feel good to them. Ask them  if they will answer some simple questions. If they refuse to talk about it then you know there is a problem you might not be ready to deal with.

For example: I had an old picture of an ex-lady friend showing us dancing together, this was an innocent  mistake that a new person of interest saw in my phone. Her reaction was…. “When relationships ends you should get rid of the pics and evidence that you had a previous woman in your life.  I don’t want to be reminded that there was someone else you shared these types of activities with.” My response: ‘But’s in my phone not yours. “So how would you like it if I had pics in my phone showing the same kind of intimate interactions with my ex-lover?” was her next question.

‘Well we all have a past, some are worth remembering while others aren’t’

I understood where this was coming from, it was not about me or my old pics etc. It was about something way deeper. A few questions and answered revealed what I had suspected. Pain and suffering of her past, popping up in our interactions.   

When a man has good memories of someone of his past, the pictures he pains shows that he was once happy!

To the man; A new person of interest may stirrup new visions  and have the man thinking:

OKay!  she is beautiful, she may even have that innocent sexy look that makes a man think she has so much to still experience in life. You want to be the one to introduce her to the things she has never experienced before.

But Oops, don’t suggest anything to her that might trigger memories of her previous sociopathic boyfriend, fiance, or husband behaviors.  We often wish that we could Google and do Wikipedia searches and they  would reveal the info we need before we move forward too fast, too soon, with a new person of interest. Well these online searches do not reveal the information  you need on a person unless they are or were “Rich and famous.”

If a persons life’s history was available, you might know that their experiences with a previous relationships  was not the kind of experience she would ever forget, i.e. an experience with a sociopath is  defined as someone who doesn’t act with logical notions of morality or social awareness, A narcissist is only concerned with  their own wellbeing. Someone who plays games with others to bolster their own ego, who gives gifts to produce debts, (they want you to owe them)  who claims to love to extracts his demented version of vengeance. These kinds of people usually start out sailing into a relationship like “a white  knight on his horse and shiny armor.” They make grand gestures to vulnerable women. Proclaiming their love, then taking control because of it. And they hate to lose. They want to dominate the other person.

If you happen to be the new guy dating a woman who has had an experience with this kind of  narcissist, then you are destined to fail in your relationship with her, every good act or kind gesture will be questioned, everything you try to expose her to will bring back her bad memories.

So take the  time to get to know a little about the person and what they like or what they don’t like, if they are very secretive…. Make sure you step lightly until you understand why they want to keep their past a secret.  

She may have posed for some great paintings but her experience was not all that great.

Final thoughts:

Sociopaths are blood suckers they leave scars that keep reminding their victims that they were victimised.  Every victim has scars, they may not be initially visible but in time they will show up in your relationship. If friends even family warn you to stay away from that person. Listen and heed the warnings!