Sayonara, baby!

Some of us  guys know the feeling of being cursed out. So we avoid the the big “C” words.

Commitment is a major curse  word. The minute  we hear that word from the wrong woman, we want to automatically bail. When we realize she wants to go down that road, we want to close the door quickly, before the cold draft get’s us and we get sick with the bug. OK it’s not a disease but it’s very close. Commitment comes with a few bad side effects. Jealousy. Emotions, and the need for intimacy…. All of which are not in some guys vocabulary. The "I-Love-you(s)," that women may say too soon, are the worse because they cause the expectations for "I-Love-you-too." But when the right female stumbles into a man’s life it causes the guy to feel all of the things mentioned. And he can’t help but wonder if there is a doctor in the house with an antidote?  Or even more extreme an Exorcist. Yeah, an Exorcist! When guys, that are not feeling the commitment connection with a woman….. panics and tries to deny what he is feeling he starts and argument.

Do you even know what you are doing to us, when you are doing it?

Let get’s real here, ladies. The following is how you may be unknowingly turning off your guy....

Without an awareness of what is important for the opposite sex, men and women don’t realize how much they may be doing damage to their partnerships. We can see that both men and women unknowingly communicate in ways that are not only counter productive but may even be a complete turnoff.

Men and women get their feelings hurt most easily when they do not get the kind of primary love they need. Women generally don’t realize the ways they communicate that are upsetting and unsupportive and even hurtful to the male ego. A woman may try to be sensitive to a man’s feelings, but because his primary love needs are different from hers, she does not instinctively anticipate his needs and reactions.

Through understanding a man’s primary love needs, a woman can be more aware and sensitive to the sources of his discontent.  Here are a few examples:

Mistakes women commonly make are:

-She tries to improve his behavior or help him by offering unsolicited advice.

- She tries to change or control his behavior by sharing her upset or negative feelings. It is OK to share feelings but not when they attempt to manipulate or punish the man.

- She doesn’t acknowledge what he does for her but complains about what he has not done, lately.

- She corrects his behavior and tells him what to do, as if he is her child.

-She expresses her upset feelings indirectly with rhetorical questions like “how could you do that?” Don’t you think that was stupid?

- When he makes decisions or takes initiatives she corrects or criticizes him.

When love fails, it’s often because people instinctively give what they want to receive.

Because a woman’s primary love needs are to be cared for, understood, and so forth, she automatically gives her man a lot of caring and understanding. But to a man this kind of caring often feels as though she doesn’t trust him to be who he is.

I had these cushions made, thinking you would like my taste, but you had to spoil my mood with your response. You picked out a white sofa…. Just so You could complain that I would stain it if I sat on it. And now you don’t like my contribution to the decor either. This not working for me.

Sayonara  Baby. I’m out!

Being cared for is cool when it comes with trusting him, and accepting the choices he makes.

The feelings that cause a guy to suddenly think about a future with a woman-- and nix the idea of being with someone else is very scary. 'Hey, the sea has more fish than I can catch in a net.'