Woman do not want men to waste their time.

 

State your intentions , clearly,sir.

In my narrow view women are doing greater things, therefore needing a man is becoming a problem for many. especially the very well educated and career minded women 

So Are Black Women Settling When it Comes to Relationships and Marriage?

Hmm…where do I start. I was part of a conversation with some  friends and we were  having a conversation about dating  and marriage in the 21st century. All  of us have at least a bachelor’s degree and two of the women  have their master’s degree (MBA), One even has a PhD. but these women all face the same obstacles when it comes to finding a compatible mate or the need and/or desire to push them to "want more." Two of the women are married and both of their husbands were their high school boyfriends.  However, the conversation remains the same, do women settle for love rather than financial stability, with constant growth. Let me just say this: I often try to be insightful in these conversations, when it comes to the either/or situations where women get going in these feelings statements. So my contribution to the conversation was a bit off the wall. What is your version to "wanting More."? I asked. In my view it's. Isn't Women who want to have it all: More Balance, More Love and exotic Sex, More Connections, more Money, and more REAL in their lives. They are not willing to settle for less. Simply because they feel the grass is always greener, in the lives of other women like them. They don't want to live their lives wasting time, hoping for More.... they   want it NOW.

Lets look at The two married women who  stated they would have preferred that their husbands enrolled in college to obtain a degree so they may be more competitive in their upper management/front office positions. However, their spouses are comfortable with the positions and salary they currently make. One of the ladies posses a MBA and the other a Bachelor’s of Science in Business Administration. They are both living comfortably in the suburbs with their spouses and children, not wanting for much materially. Just the desires to have more! These two women try to encourage the other four that marriage is possible, but not without sacrifices. When they were dating their potential husbands, they were in love and it was young love, nonetheless. They did not consider not marrying their potential mates because they did not posses they same degree of education as themselves. Is it wrong for them to want their husbands to obtain degrees, so they can have more? 

So what does wanting more really mean, in the eyes of black educated women? My guess is it's  They’ve been trying for very long to just get their partner to hear them. They feel like their patience is running low. So what do they do from here? Success is relative. All that wanting "The greener grass"  really does.... it stresses women out to the point of "loosing their minds over things that are not with  in their control. namely having Husbands that are no long trying to impress their women. I believe the biggest problems that they believe the Middle class dreams  now has a ceiling. They want to travel more, they want to own more things, they don't want to miss out on "the more" that other are succeed at. It's like when they attend a  fashion show... they keep seeing more new styles and  More new color schemes and they wan to be the ones setting trends. 

The other four ladies are dating someone exclusively, one is single and the other states she’s finding herself she doesn’t have time for men and their bullsh*t!! However, the four women friends have stated that they cant seem to find black man who is on their level. What they really mean is they want a black men to be on a level slightly above them and growing at paces that they would like see.  They’re always dating black men who made less, high school diplomas, some work experience, but they tend to have little or  no ambition or desire to "want more."  These women have dated all types of men. The college educated (accountant, IT specialist, managers of departments) but these men  are not looking for a serious commitment; the MAMAS boy who’s looking for someone to take care of  him; the plumber; the electrician; the dope boy; the barber; the continuing educating student; and the list goes on and on…….. These ladies say that a “good” black man is HARD to find, or are women just looking in the wrong places for what they desire. Should women settle for less when it comes to income, just to be loved? Maybe none of these women fully see what they are telling black men, they need to understand that being well educated does not put them in better positions necessarily.

Studies have shown that black women are more likely to obtain a college degree than black men. Therefore, women are less likely to marry someone with similar educational status. During my parents time the women made less and the husband who were the breadwinner and took on the responsibility for the household. However, today the black women sometimes are the bread winner. Does this mean women have settled for less than they feel they deserve? what does this really men for black couples who want to live like they are the Obama couple. In very  secure relationships ( protected by the secret service) with no distractions...  "needing more and more" SMDH. these Advertisements of the greater life is driving wedges between black women and black men. You see when the guy they were attracted to... is   not stressing himself out over the wants and needs of these  women who have done way more than their mothers ever dreamed of. They feel dissatisfied with their lives.... because they are no longer  " the prize"  and not many men are standing in long lines to pay "the price" to pay  for the illusive happiness they women crave. If a woman's current partner does not have the skills she thought he had in the beginning... they he needs to thrown the curb. and replaced with a better version of the man she fell for.

One of my married women stated that she makes more than her husband. However, she does not make him feel like he is less of a man or not the primary provider of their household because of their difference in incomes.  She stated that it’s all in how you handle all income that is coming into the household. Her husband still pays their mortgage she handles all the other household expenses and they divide the child care expenses (i.e. clothing, day care, medical). So what do you think ladies is it a deal breaker if your potential mate does not have similar educational background or make a similar salary?

Well as  a man I see things differently. I said "Not all men want to spend years in college and then have to payoff... your and his College loans for years after, while maintaining a life style where their wives constantly "want More" . If the man has skills other than being a pro athlete or entertainer... for example.....  as starting a company and building  a profitable business he might not be the one you initially liked but ignoring him might be a mistake you will not be able to get over' . the window of opportunities will not stay open forever and ever after.

OK baby lets roll, are you coming with me?!
 If you snooze you loose. 

Final thought:             News flash: today's black woman does not want to live the life their mothers had, they "want More!" And they will stress their men out to get More than these men can provide. i.e. these women do not want men who will waste their time (their glory years.) They want instant gratification. not potential, they want actual Higher value added to their portfolio right away.  Take a look at the women who stick to celerity men like glue for a few years. Do you think they all Love these guys until dead do them part... think again!