Ladies, there are Ways to Show Him Your Softer Side Without Feeling Weak

Ladies, Do you have issues showing your softer side? 

why are you so cold on a chilly night?

Okay, let me dispel this myth right away: Ladies. Showing your softer side in a relationship does not make you weak!

I was scrolling on IG (i.e. avoiding doing real work) and came across Tammy Rivera’s (Wife to rapper Waka Flocka) page.  She posted a clip of her and her husband on Marriage Bootcamp (on WE tv) where they were arguing. Waka said something to the effect of, “why are you talking so aggressively?” to which Tammy replied, “When I was talking softly, you didn’t respect it.”

Okay, I get it.  At some point in your life you overextended yourself to someone close to you and they responded by taking advantage of the situation. So, you vowed "NEVER" do that again and now you are more guarded, more straight forward, and people can either take you as you are or leave you.

But the problem is…they will leave you, if you take it too far.

“Well if they weren’t man enough to take me I don’t need them anyways.” might be your standard answer.

But from one neck rolling, teeth-sucking, slick-mouthed, I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T *do you know what that means* ….YOU ARE VERY WRONG, SIS!!

The truth of the matter is you cannot make your current and future relationships pay for your past mistakes.

We’ve all been hurt at some point in time or two…or six. However, if women take steps towards healing, women should get to the place where they engage in relationships without fear.

Yeah, there are some male jokers out there who may want to take full advantage, but this is where discernment and guarding your heart (which is TOTALLY different than being guarded) come into play.  Take time to see what a man is all about to determine if he’s even worth the investment of your time and emotions before you start giving them out like a fish plate in the church rec-room after Sunday service.

So here are a few ways to show him your soft side, without feeling weak:

1.       Indulge him a little

I feel like I’m coming out the gate with a hard one because if you are anything like my

protective K-9, you don’t have time for the “dumb” stuff. But, men desire attention too, and it can come in

convenient ways. For instance, when men so much as sneeze a little too hard their world crumbles.

Her first instinct is to roll out at you aggressively. However, instead, tell him to rest, bring him a blanket,

make him some soup, and touch his forehead a couple times.  Everyone needs a little give sometimes. 

Being harsh and disregarding your mate will only create barriers overtime.

2.       Ask him for advice

Men’s advice on non-male related things can be just…tragic.  They try but sometimes our advice

misses the mark. However, you can ask advice on things he may know more about or general

problem-solving. Asking for advice requires a level of humility and vulnerability,

but you may be surprised by how he responds.  He may offer a perspective that you didn’t think

of and in the process, he’ll feel helpful and considered.

3.     This one may be hard but it’s necessary. 

Sometimes as women you can be flippant with your mouths without

considering how your words may land. If you take more moments to carefully craft

and artfully form your words, I guarantee you would establish a culture of mutual respect and consideration in your

relationship. Proverbs says,

“A soft answer turns away wrath” and there’s an old saying that says “You can catch more bees

with honey than vinegar.”

I’ll leave it at that.

4.       Compliment him

Give your man compliments without cracking a joke behind it.  Sometimes in relationships that are more

friendly than romantic compliments go like this: “Don’t you look cute with your big head.”

You both may laugh, but you took the genuineness out of the compliment. 

However, if you instead say,

“You look really handsome today, babe!” you not only boosted his self-esteem, but you showed

him some softness. You can also send him a nice note or text of appreciation telling him how much

you love and appreciate him. If you don’t like doing things like this it may be hard at first, but at least

give it a try!

5.       *bonus* Switch it up!

If you’re married, one of the easiest moments to be soft is during sex.  If you’re normally aggressive,

be more submissive! I promise you submission is just as sexy as aggression (if not more).

Add some dainty lingerie, let him know he has full control, and watch how he responds!

Just be sure to invite me to the baby shower!                

 

Imma leave the door open