Everybody has issues!

…Well not exactly. Yes we have all experienced things in our life that has likely created some issues at some point. However, some people have taken the time to address and resolve them. While others may have ignored them or delayed resolving them , they seam to have  moved past them on the surface. The latter can lead to two people coming together in a relationship and experiencing a greater struggle. Continuing to ignore the issues will not make things better, and it’s time to truly start resolving  the major ones. This is a journey that can be done together, but only if you embrace these  key points:

Let's Be Honest!

"The truth shall set you free!"  Issues are hard to address when people aren't being honest about them. In a relationship this requires both individuals to point out what they see, and both have to be open to receiving it. That doesn't mean you can just lash out and breakdown your partner. You have to deliver your honesty with love, compassion, and positive energy. Getting things out on the table will help you both see things more clearly, and properly set the stage for effective resolution of these issues.

Remember how I said earlier you shouldn't just lash out at your partner. Well not only should you be mindful of how you deliver your honesty, but you also need to avoid coming off as judgmental to your partner. Speaking down to your partner and being judgmental will likely cause them to shutdown or lash back out at you. Fear of being judged is why so many do not open up to their partner about deeper issues that exist within. You have to create an environment where you both can feel comfortable being honest and talking about things. It will truly open the doorway to progress.

When couples struggle, many well will wishers suggest going to counseling. I believe it is a great idea to take that step, however don't just do it as a couple. The reality is that many of the issues you face today stem from issues that existed way before you entered into this relationship. So being able to get some one-on-one time with a counselor or relationship coach can help with your process of healing and being able to come together and have a more effective session as a group. Talk about what you both learned individually, and embrace the process your relationship needs to experience success.

At this point you have talked about things, you may be getting the assistance of a third-party, and you have agreed on the changes that need to be made to make the relationship better. Well understand that Rome was not built in a day. Your path to a great relationship is a marathon not a race. That doesn't mean either one of you should use that as an excuse to slack off. It just means that you focus more on constant progress being made rather than perfection. We all have our off days, and the last thing you need to do is to use that to think "nothing has changed". Look at the bigger picture, and if things are getting better, then you are moving in the right direction.

Last but definitely not least, don't fuel the negative cycle. In every step towards resolving your issues together, you have to find the strength to take a loving and positive approach. Even if your partner has a negative moment, don't make the mistake of feeding into it. Because any progress made will take several steps back. I know it's not easy, but staying positive is what is needed. If each individual focuses on their actions, and holds themselves accountable in making sure they put their best foot forward, then trust you will be well on your way to an amazing relationship. 

Ideally, I would love to see more people address lingering issues before they get into a permanent  relationship. I believe it will create the best chance of having success in relationships and also increasing their overall quality of life. However, I know that many have already crossed that line, and being able to work through this together isn't impossible. So embrace these key points, and give yourself an opportunity to experience the amazing and fulfilling relationship you and your partner desire... Maybe I will take my own BAD suggestions.