Well we can't always Have Paris!

They call it the seven-year itch. that's the dangerous season many marriages enter after the thrill of newlywed bliss has faded and the reality of bills, maybe kids ( or wanting kids) , and business has knocked most of the romance from the relationship. Mine was more like a seventeen-year itch, I will go into that later.

My married life started right after college, 3 years to be exact. We met in the Hall ways of Allstate Insurance headquarters in Northbook Illinois.  We talked about taking a trip to Paris for our honeymoon, once we decide to get married,  but it didn't happen . Because We were in a car accident just before the wedding which left my fiancee with a fat lip and a soar neck and back. We got married even though she was in pain. and was going through treatment for months after.... 3 months after our wedding my mother had major Cancer surgery and passed away. Paris was out of the question as a result of these  one after the other chapters.
Maybe we can take a trip to Paris, Missourri; or Paris Illinios, or one of the other dozens of cities named Paris in North America, However, every marriage needs those special trips (Paris is the ultimate dream for most women) , adventures, or events that are memorable. we all need evenings, weekends, and even weeks away from the distractions of everyday life. those sometimes-stolen moments allow us to focus on each other as the real world fades into a hazy distance. Then, when we're back in the cold , harsh realities of normal living , memories of those special times give us a glimpse of light and hope when the marriage flames seem to flicker low. As we have those " here's looking at you,kid" occasions, they remind us of the beginning and the continuation of a beautiful relationship!

They say you can't change your marriage overnight, but one all-nighter changed everything for us.       It was during our 17th year of marriage ( 2 kids)  and she was lying in bed, glaring at me, I pretended to be sleeping. I could read her mind " how can you sleep when you know that I am furious  with you?"
She seethed so hard that I could feel her hot, hateful breath on my neck. After her huffing and puffing did not wake me ( at least she thought it didn't wake me) , she threw off the covers and stomped into the living room, waiting for me to come looking for her.  Finally she realized I wasn't coming. He doesn't care. I'm sure she  was fuming." he is too selfish to miss his precious sleep just to save our marriage, just like he never took me to Paris! "
Her emotions probably escalated as she looked at our wedding pictures in the album on the coffee table.  She had not had the wedding or the honeymoon she had planned. I knew  deep down that she was having issues that dated back 17 years. She probably was saying: " I hate him"  in her state of mind hated me of lying so comfortable in the bed, while she was uncomfortably upset out in the living room. I started wondering , " how the hell did we get her?"

 I could no longer sleep...... my mind was racing.... This is not what I signed up for, I thought. somebody who start have regrets because she missed out on going to "Paris?" REALLY? Then it made sense to me.... I will play it off she is probably thinking I have no clue   why she was miserable about not ever  going to Paris as a young couple. Maybe she thinks  I honestly believed everything was fine, that we just had a little squabble about nothing. I felt pleased (my 6th sense kicked in at the right time) ... I had figured it all out, and in a generous moment  I decide to get up and walk out to see if she was alright. that was the beginning of all the traveling she wanted to do. But you guessed it "No Paris honeymoon." That continued for almost 8 years. then  the end came ( could  not make her happy anymore) . I could no long make someone  happy who was miserable no matter how much I compromised....

One of the biggest pressures in a marriage can be when  children brings extra  stress and the parents don't agree on how to handle it. It's easy to focus on a children's issues so much that we lose sight of each other. Although our children mean the world to both of us , a marriage commitment is made to last long after the children are gone, pursuing their own lives, Though our kids choices can break our hearts   ( that's another story) we can't let their choices ruin our relationship with each other !
I told this story to remind you  Fellows to take your bride to Paris if that's her dream place.  or it could end in a divorce years later. because women do not forget the things that are attached to an emotion of disappointment.