Good luck Figuring out what keeps Marriages from unraveling these days!

 I will change you in NO time!

 some cases the stereotype is true-- People get married with the idea of changing the one they walk down the aisle with. And they find that the more they try to change the other person, the less it works! The old adage of: "your can't push a rope!" applies well here.
Instead we can make great strides by offering each other the acceptance we long for in our own lives. And we can realize that somethings a husband or wife is the way he or she is because of the way nature made him and her that way. If the person truly changed the way we wanted them to, it might destroy the essence of who that person is and eliminate the very personality that drew us to him or her in the first place!

vive la difference.

What's that other old adage? "If both of you are exactly alike, one of you is unnecessary!" Our marriages are strengthened as we learn to acknowledge, accept, and even celebrate our differences. Husbands and wives are just intrinsically, in many ways, different. And as the French say, vive la difference.

 When couples are first married, they still believe the other person has the potential for dramatic change, But by 50, couples today think: ‘He or she is not really going to change. But I’ll be living another 30 years.’ That’s why so many couples now feel they owe it to themselves to bring real happiness and excitement into their lives, not passivity.
A little personal note:  I guess I as the exception, my ex-wife told me during our divorce that I had change I no longer was the man she married... wow go figure! 

The statistics help tell the tale: Divorce rates for people 45 and over doubled from 1990 to 2010         ( I know because  I was part of that statistic) according to a landmark study by Bowling Green State University in 2013. It’s the highest split-up rate of any age group. But the same study found that the number of unmarried people 50-plus living together tripled between 2000 and 2013—also the highest gains of any group. Translation: People are doing what it takes to be happy, regardless of preconceived notions or traditional rules.

Is this what you had in mind when you told me to get in shape!

 We’ve never had such high expectations of marriage before,There is much more potential for people—women especially—to reinvent their long-term relationships. Or to choose not to. She may insist that the husband goes back to the gym and get in shape..... checkout the results. As we hit midlife, we  are rethinking just about every part of our lives these days— our careers, our locations, our appearances, our lifestyles and even our favorite pets (welcome I now want a German Shepard and no longer a doberman). It’s all a natural by-product of the anti-status-quo Boomer mentality. So it’s no surprise that the most sweeping reinventions are coming closest to home: our marriages.

we look happy don't we?

The old paradigm: find a mate, procreate, and raise what at least appears to be a happy family. Then, regardless of what’s left of your relationship, stick together until the (sometimes-bitter) end.  But now there’s a whole new reality: Put that midlife union under an electron microscope, figure out what makes the molecules collide and dance, and then do whatever it takes to live your next decades in true happiness. It may mean finding new ways to rekindle the initial points of combustion. Or, just as likely, it may mean ditching a lost cause of a marriage or finding highly creative ways to keep a troubled one going.  In the end it is always ends in goodbye, see you! But 

 - Do You Really Mean Goodbye