STOP before you go: reduce your stress level through self-reflection.
When you're always on the go it's easy to forget to reflect and rejuvenate your mind. In turn, stress [piles up and burdens get bulkier, yet you keep piling on the commitments without even asking yourself:
Am I working on things that are important to me?
Am I on the right path to my future destination?
Am I on the path to burnout?
When your schedule becomes tighter and tighter, your mind is prone to becoming narrow. You tend to focus so intense on your to-do list that you forget about your healthy living. try a fast-acting relief, try slowing down ~Lily Tomlin. Here are a few suggestions.
One of the most memorable and exciting adventures you can take as a couple is a trip to a foreign destination. Beyond discovering culture, cuisine and the best attractions a location has to offer, taking a vacation with your lover is a quick way to test the waters in your relationship.
Hold my hand and don't let go!
Because let’s face it, there’s a great possibility that things could go wrong. You may get lost, miss your flight, lose your luggage, or encounter some not-so-friendly locals. And it’s through these challenging experiences that you can learn about a person's, you are with, ability to solve problems and compromise. So, if you’re ready to put your relationship to the ‘travel test,’ here are a few trips of a lifetime for couples to consider:
Get up close and personal with the ‘Big Five’ on an African Safari: There is a variety of world class African safari’s in Kenya, Tanzania, and Uganda; to name a few, that will allow you to come face to face with the big five—lion, elephant, rhinoceros, leopard, and even a buffalo. And for couples looking for the thrill of the chase, a walking safari allows you to experience the scenery while walking along the same paths of lions, giraffes, elephants, and more. A canoe safari; another great option for those on a quest for adventure, lets you sail through Africa’s majestic rivers and set up camp along various designated areas.
Just chill
Escape to paradise and sleep-in over water villas in the South Pacific Islands: Thrill-seeking couples looking for romance can check out Tahiti and the French Polynesia for exclusive resorts featuring over-the-water bungalows, surfing, diving, and more. While backpacking, couples can head to Fiji to get off the beaten path.
‘Eat, Pray, Love’ as a couple in Bali, Indonesia: The movie Eat, Pray, Love, featured this tropical paradise as a destination for soul-searchers and anyone looking to indulge in spiritual guidance, trans-formative culture, tranquility, and lush landscapes. And the Indonesian island famous for its beautiful views, offers a variety of small boutique hotels and large five-star resorts.
take a few step on the romantic side
I'm finally at that stage in my life when I might want to explore the city of love, Paris, France: Chances are you’re not surprised that the country famous for the Eiffel tower; the world’s most recognizable metallic structure, makes the cut for trips of a lifetime. With a delightful combination of romance and history, the city of love is perfect for couples looking to dine in charming restaurants, stroll along the River Seine, and tour some of the best museums in the world. Well she hs to special to make me do this!
Kaui, Hawaii is calling me!
Explore history and spectacular views in Kaui, Hawaii:
Kaui, the fourth largest Hawaiian island, offers mountainous lush landscapes, oceanfront villages, triple waterfalls, and much more. Couples can take in the spectacular views via helicopter tour, backpack through Kalalau Trails, and take a scenic drive around this diverse tropical paradise. OK I will be repeating an experience here because I visited this Island the year my first born celebrated his first year and took his first steps. That was 30 years ago. I would love to see if the island has changed much since then.
check out that view!
I might even like to get lost in the narrow alleyways of Santorini, Greece: From swimming in spectacular beaches and sailing in clear blue water, to discovering fascinating archaeological sites and villages, this magical Greek island provides a variety of activities for wandering couples.Greece will help you realize the difference between stopping to enjoy life and stagnating.
Cuba!
OK I must admit I never really thought about Cuba having much that would interest me in the past...until I saw these classic convertibles cars. I'm adding it to my list without hesitation now.... to head to Cuba and be driven around in one these convertibles. by a good looking female taxi driver. Might be a "cafe con leche" moment. "con poco azúcar" maybe some "lechon" with "moro arroz" a side order of " plátanos fritos" some "yuca"a cerveza Polar... after the meal.. Wow. the real experience, after years of the copied version in little Havana Miami Florida, it would be right on time....
Hmm! I can even smell the aroma already.
Maybe it's time to stop wasting the years.... you can't hold on to the years that are already gone!
Well this blog is pretty long because I had 25 things that I've had on my mind for some time now.....
Start by enhancing your image!
Personally I believe this is my best feature!
We all reach a point in our lives when we need to reinvent ourselves.Happened to me more than 10 years ago. Whether it’s a personal, professional, or both, life sometimes doesn't go exactly as planned. We've all been there or will go through it at some point in our lives. You're not alone.
If you feel stuck or have recently lost everything, then now is the perfect time to reinvent yourself so that you can go on to live the life that you always dreamed of. And, here are some ways that you can accomplish that.
1. Go back to square One.
Savor new strawberry moments
There’s a reason why you need to reinvent yourself. It could be personal, such as getting your act together after a divorce, or professional career ends, i.e.like having to shutdown your business. That doesn't matter now. It’s time to start from the beginning and put the past behind you. Find yourself a new Love interest. One that is nothing like your past interest and experiences. Hmm but this can be a big challenge because you might continue attract what you like and what you liked in the past may just a be an energy that is so great that you can find a way to avoid it.
2. Create a vision for your future and establish goals.
In the past you never let folks see the bottom your shoes...... ..wow, times have changed!
After identifying what needs to be changed, it’s time to plan out the future that you want for yourself. What do you need to do to make this a reality? Do you need to move? Do you need to go back to school? Figure this out and establish the goals to achieve your vision.
3. Write a lists.
Start by writing down a life map and making a graphical representation of your passions and priorities. No matter the size of the goal, spend every morning writing down the reasonable things that you want to accomplish. These words that you have written can motivate you to turn those ideas into action. I do this and it helps.
4. Say ‘no!’
If you don’t want to do something, just say ‘no’and be firm about it. This will give you the time to do what you want to do.
5. Connect with people.
After I send out this email I will just unplug
Don’t connect with just anyone. Connect with the right people, at the right time. These should be individuals who inspire you and who you can learn from. With social media, you can connect with these people easily. But, don’t rule out doing some old fashioned networking. Attend conferences and industry events as well.
6. Find time to disconnect.
Alternately, you want to find time to unplug. Emails, texts, and social media notifications will distract you during your reinvention process. It may be hard to believe, but the world is not going to end if you don’t have a Facebook status update for a couple of days.
7. Show gratitude.
At least once a day jot down something that you’re grateful for. When you’re stuck or feeling low, revisit that note. Remember to show your gratitude to your nearest and dearest who support you through thick and thin.
8. Prioritize.
Try to dedicate at least one hour of each day in accomplishing your goals. Remember, knock out those most important tasks first so that you can focus on the smaller tasks that will also help you achieve you goal. And, don’t forget to use calendars. alarms, and apps to help you prioritize your tasks and keep you productive.
9. Be generous.
There are numerous ways that you can be generous. It could be donating to a charity. Volunteering at a soup kitchen. Sharing your expertise by writing informative articles. If you support others, they’ll support you.
think about who can help you!
10. Find a mentor.
Locate someone who can help guide through this journey. If you can’t find an actual, you can always turn to the words of wisdom that other’s have share in books, articles, or tweets.
11. Get rid of the stuff holding you back.
Do you have a shirt that doesn’t fit, but you hold onto because you like the style? How about that uncomfortable chair in your living room? The books collecting dust? Physical items can hold us back emotionally and physically since they either bring us down or just get in the way. Donate or throw away anything that’s holding you back from going forward.
12. Go shopping.
You definitely should not go out and max out your credit card. But, a new outfit can make you feel like a completely different person. For example, if you want to be taken more seriously as a professional, then go out and invest in a quality suit, new watch, or even a fresh haircut.
13. Read.
Don’t just read. Read a lot. It’s one of the best ways to develop your mind, imagination, creativity, and discover new things.
Sleep in the nude for better health.
14. Take care of your health.
Eat a balanced diet. Exercise. Get 8 hours of sleep. You’ve heard of this before, but you’ll need to take care of your health in order to go through this transitional period. And, don’t forget to take care of your emotional and mental well-being as well. Whether it’s mediating or going to counseling, your entire being needs to to in tip-top shape.
15. Explore new opportunities.
Eat a new restaurant. Visit a foreign country. Learn a new skill. Getting out of your comfort will help you grow as a person, discover new markets, and even lead you to discovering your true calling.
16. Get creative.
Art is an original gift, a connection that changes the recipient, a human ability to make a difference. Art isn’t a painting or even a poem; it’s something that any of us can do. If you interact with others, you have the platform to create something new, something that changes everything. I call that art.
I've waited 5 years for this moment.
17. Be patient
Reinventing yourself takes time. In fact, it could take up to five years. Use this time to perfect your new skills or achieve your goals.
18. Savor silence.
Whether it’s taking time to meditate or just sitting still for a couple of hours doing nothing, finding some quiet time allows you to clear you read and re-evaluate your goals.
19. Seek inspiration.
What did you used to be passionate about? What inspires you? We sometimes lose track of that during the hustle and bustle of life. If you can’t remember, recall your childhood. What things were excited about? Once you’ve found your inspiration, take action. If you’ve always wanted to paint, then start painting.
20. Celebrate little things.
Celebration time .
As I mentioned earlier, reinvention doesn’t occur overnight. It’s a lengthy process. That’s why it’s important to celebrate all of those little accomplishments.
21. Chose freedom.
Don’t listen to the naysayers who are planning your life for you - even if it’s your family. Do what you want to do. It’s your life. They might get a little disappointed at first, but ultimately they’ll have to respect your decision.
22. Listen and ask questions.
Thank you for lending me a listening ear
You’d be surprised at much you’ll learn if you actually stop and listen to people. Also don’t forget to follow-up with a question or two. Not only will learn something new, you’ll strengthen that relationship.
23. Turn weaknesses into strengths.
We all have weaknesses. Instead of using them to hold you back, turn them into a strength. For example, introverts may not be the life of the party. But, they’re excellent listeners. They could use that traits to their advantage when networking or learning new skills.
24. Panic every once in awhile is normal.
I have no idea what to do with myself for the next few hours
This is a lengthy and trying process. It’s acceptable to freak out every now and then. If you need a day to decompress binge watching Netflix or goofing off with your friends, then do it. Just don’t make it a habit.
25. Revisit your vision.
Make the time either first thing in the morning or before you go to bed to revisit and reconnect with your vision. It’s easy to get off-track because of distractions or the trials that you face, so taking this time keeps you motivated to keep moving forward. Once you find something to focus on spend a little quality time doing it.....
How we make decisions is the starting point to making a more informed decision in the future
Yeah FONO can be a "moments of tension or transition," but it can help people progress and make difficult decisions.
“Understanding how you make decisions is the starting point to making a more informed decision in the future. Your unique decision-making style speaks to your strengths and also speaks to your greatest weakness. The hope is to surround yourself with others that make decisions in different styles to make a more informed and thoughtful choice for moments of tension or transition. When we understand our styles better, we are given the opportunity to invite others from other unique perspectives into our process.
Here is an overview of the seven decision-making styles. You can use five-minute assessment tool to better understand your personal style.
1. Data driven
The numbers need to support our decisions
Hard data, especially numbers, are the basis of these individual's decisions. They take time to research, organize and consider before moving forward.
“The more information they gather, the better. Numbers, research and reason guide what they do and how they decide.
My opinion: If you are making decisions in a committee these folks are perfect to case a debate on an issue.
2. Collective reasoning
People with this style naturally gather a group of opinions before making any decision. Group consensus and buy-in from everyone guides each step forward.
“These individuals believe deeply in democracy. They would love to vote for every decision.
Not every decision will start with a piece of paper and a line drawn from top to bottom creating a pro and con list.
3. List approach
People with this approach only move forward after methodically considering the pros and cons of any decision. Their researched lists give them confidence and a pre-planned path for the future.
“Every decision will start with a piece of paper and a line drawn from top to bottom creating a pro and con list. They can see things from every angle and won’t choose until they have considered every option.
4. Gut reaction
These decision-makers rely on feelings to make quick decisions. They don't mind taking risks and move confidently forward through life.
“Decisions by these individuals are highly emotional and are instinctively known in a matter of moments.They are guided by that moment and are often challenging to predict by others.
5. Spiritually guided
Staying close to God or spiritual beliefs and listening carefully for a clear voice of direction is the process employed by these individuals. Prayer, solitude and retreat are their key methods of deciding.
“Before any major decision is made, they will take an extended period of time away from all others to stop and meditate or pray about how to move forward. Until they have a peaceful resolve they will not continue.
A great vacation could be just relaxation
6. Story living
These individuals make decisions based on the story they will get to tell afterwards. They want to go to new places, try impossible things and tell the world.
“A great vacation would be to climb Mount Kilimanjaro today with three friends you met on Twitter yesterday. They are the type of people that can keep a bonfire conversation going all night long."
7. Passive undecided
People with this mentality are happy to move forward with almost any decision as long as they do not have to make it. They avoid conflict and choose by following others.
“They are genuinely OK with any other person in their life making decisions on behalf of them. In every situation, choices by others will always be the best decision.”
Let's raise our glasses to good decisions!
Which is your style and how do you see it playing out in your daily decision-making? Are you surrounding yourself with enough of the other styles of decision-makers to make the best choices for yourself and your company?
if I could have said the right things that would have made her say..."I have to go now, but I will be back, soon!"
She's leaving on a Jetplane, I don't know if she'll be back again
You meet her and she is a Jet-setter. You are not! So what do you do? Go with her every time she wants to go on trip... or sit back and wonder if she will be back????? Well the World has changed women are more Jet-setters than men these days. I have to admit I'm a bit jealous at times ... because I kind of miss those days where I would meet my friends at cool spots in major cities on a Friday evening, and hang for the weekend. For example I would travel from Florida to Atlanta, New Orleans, Chicago, N.Y. as just a few quick trips. But that is when things are going well for two people but if they are no longer a couple.. then goodbye means just that "Good Bye! I will not be back !"
The following are a few points to think about if you are thinking goodbye is on the horizon.
Knowing When To Go!
If things are over, then let them be over!
Is It Just Time To Walk Away? The biggest mistake a woman and a man can make in a relationship is staying in a bad one too long. Not all relationships are worth holding on to, especially those that keep you from moving forward and living your best life. If one of these things applies to your current relationship, it’s time to leave it in the past. My BAD perspective: all too often we let things just continue deteriorating between two people simply because we don't want to end things... that just should be ended. Yeah, it might hurt a bit., but staying together will hurt a whole lot more in the long run... You never know what happiness is just around the corner or at the end of a trip. You're Saving For Two, They Saving For None
If the only person regularly contributing to your joint savings is you, then you are already proving they ares not ready to be a team player. You should both be invested in your future$. My BAD perspective: In the world where men handled all of the finances for years, this transition, of mutual contributions and distribution of funds can be tricky. Expectations can lead to misunderstandings. women these day have as much as..... or maybe even more net income opportunities as men. you both should be saving together it will never be 50-50 but equal contributions should be based on an understanding/ agreement. They Have Trouble Being Happy For You If They are Not Happy For themselves If the person in your life can’t celebrate your victories because they doesn’t have any of their own to share, then they’ll never be able to root for you......... when you need them most. My BAD perspective: Happiness is an internal feeling, if a person can't turn that switch to "on" he will not be able to be happy for someone else. If he is jealous of your accomplishments he will never ever see your accomplishments as mutually beneficial.
Their Friends Come First Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but they should still prefer to spend the most quality time with you. Remember: A boy needs his boys, and a girl needs her girls, a man needs his woman and she needs her man. My BAD perspective: Growing up is hard to do when your friends are not acting grown... very often the problems between couples start with folks setting the wrong priorities for themselves and their mates..... too much influenced by friends.
They are Actually Kind Of Haters When you have good news or positive emotions to share and the first thing out of his/her mouth is usually more negative than positive, they are haters, and not a true partner. Case closed. My BAD perspective: When negativity is the first response......... to good news........ that you share with a partner.... you should read it for what it is they are not happy for you or your news. Don't let that person steal your joy. They Can't Be Faithful A man who cheats usually does so because he doesn’t appreciate or value the woman he’s cheating on. Why waste another second being devoted to someone who can’t be loyal? My BAD perspective: Disloyally has more to do with their lack of values than them valuing you, they don't value themselves either. when people choose a destructive path... that leads no where. they are not planning to have great results in the end.
They Acts More Like Children Than Your spouse
You should never feel like your spouse parent. If you find yourself lecturing him/her and nurturing him/her more than just loving him/her, it’s time to find someone who’s mature enough to be one part of a team. You Have To Compromise Your Happiness For His/hers This should absolutely never, ever, ever happen. If it is, it’s time to put an end to this madness today. S/He should be happiest when you both are. My BAD perspective: Dilution has more to do with folks lack of value in themselves so they become dependent on you , they don't value themselves enough (they would tell you different, they are Rock Stars in their own minds so you must cater to their needs. ) When people choose " a fix it for me" path... they are not planning to have great results in the end, because they don't charge of their own lives..
While generation X or Y, millennials probably post details of their love life on Instagram and Snapchat, chances are their parents might not see it or hear about it. I know a family in which two adult children informally instituted the "three-month rule": Don't tell mom or dad about a new relationship until after that time because they will ask too many questions. After three months, a relationship has real chance at long-term potential. Or maybe NOT!
How are we going to do this ? You still live at home with your folks, and so do I!
Regardless of when millennials decide to reveal their romances to their parents, you can trust and believe that the rules of dating have changed over the last decade. As with every aspect of their lives, millennials go online to find potential partners, whether for one night or for short term and maybe life. A new Pew survey found that almost one-third of young people have used an online dating app. Sometimes even adult kids are reluctant to tell their parents that they met a significant other online. But as one argument goes, how is that any better or worse than meeting in a bar or at work?
However, the day eventually dawns when you'll meet the boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever you call your romantic interest. And when it does, take your new relationship slowly.
Don't jump in with two feet, especially because you don't know if the relationship is going to work out, Even adult children often feel the need to please their parents, and if they are overly enthusiastic about the new friend, the child may sometimes stay in a relationship that's not working so well just not to disappoint their parents who grew to like the boyfriend or girlfriend .
a Parent's casual inquiry. Ask your child how he or she met the new partner as well as other nonjudgmental, open-ended questions. Tell them: Remember this is not an interrogation. you are just trying to get a feel for who this new person is and why your child likes them.
Online match? If you're horrified that they met on a dating app, let it go. That's the way dating happens today. It's very different from previous generations.
Where to meet the couple. You want to make it casual, so pick a neutral place such as a restaurant, which puts a beginning and end on the meeting. An hour and be done. You can gradually work your way into longer periods.
It shows big time when her dad approves of the new boyfriend
Who pays? LOL...Parents should pay. That's your role. If the boyfriend or girlfriend objects, say, Let me pay this time, and you can pay next.
More casual inquiry. Ask questions intermixed with casual conversation. Don't get into family history and other personal issues. Stay with neutral topics about work and hobbies. "You might check with your child beforehand to ask if there's anything you should stay away from, something that would make an awkward conversation."
Disapproval. If you take an immediate dislike, say nothing. "First, you don't know if this relationship is going anywhere, and saying something is not going to have any impact anyway."
If it lasts despite disapproval? Your child picked this person for a reason. What is it that he or she likes so much? Find some positive things about the person and build on that. The bottom line: You need to create some relationship with the person your child likes or may even love."
Stop we can't get carried away.... this is my parents home!
Are you an adult who’s living with Mom and Dad again? That doesn’t mean you can’t have a social life. Here are the things your should be thinking about and rules to this new game. “My Mom Won’t Let My Boyfriend Sleep Over!” OK, so go to a hotel for the nights when you want to get busy. “Living at Home Has Killed the Romance” You moved back in with your parents it's their house remember... that. “Mom, I appreciate your interest, but please stop asking so many questions…” You are in your mom's house.... she has all the rights to ask whatever she wants. “My Parents Are Too Nosy!” Their home means....just that.....everything that happens in the parents home is their business. “Girls Think I’m a Loser Because I Live at Home” Just explain to the girls, if they counts, that you are helping your parents out with their expenses. And.... that is just good economics to save as much money for when the both of you get your own place together.
We enter relationships in complete bliss and then hit a brick wall in some cases. We don’t know what’s happened, but things are not what they once were and it feels wrong. The zest and juiciness of being in love has become a habit with all the stresses of life. Some of the following might make you go huh, so true!
1. ACTING LIKE YOU ARE SINGLE. What defines a loving relationship? Two people! So when you act like you are still single, without consenting to your partner, then you are behaving like you do not commit to that person. When you are in a relationship you must take accountability of that other person’s feelings. Do you just pick up and go without considering your partner? Do you make plans without checking in? Do you keep things from your partner that you know would not be considered righteous to a union? If you cannot commit to a relationship then let that person move on. You cannot keep holding on to the single life while enjoying the benefits of having someone in your bed. You must be honest with that person and with yourself. You want to be single? Be single. If you want to commit to a loving relationship then take accountability for your actions.
My thoughts on this issue. Single is just Single, you can not be a couple unless you both have agreed to be exclusive. But often enough popular opinions becomes the prevailing status of dating...... folks are labeling everything under sun. You meet her for breakfast or coffee in the morning or a lunch, and boom you're dating..! People see you and they think You are dating because you are seen in public together... Now you have to come up with disclaimers, but the other person is liking the label of the two of you being a couple! Oops, this is turning out to be a tough fix, how do you un-ring a bell! 2. ONLY BEING FINANCIALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOURSELF.
Money issues are a huge challenge in relationships. When you go around spending as if you are the only one in the relationships, things begin to fall apart. This goes back to acting like you are still single. You have a responsibility to your mate to partake in the expenditure. If you are only considering yourself, then you might as well stay single.
My thoughts on this issue. What are we talking about here a marriage , roommates, committed partners having kids together? What ? Things need to be clearly defined to assume responsibilities with committed financials.. especially now that women make their own money... things can't be the same as when she was a girl waiting at home in her parents home for her prince to come along and take her away. Today's relations are not like in the old days where Men took care of all her needs. However today if he chooses to do things for you, it his choice, not his responsibility unless you have an union. or he is really committed to take care of you.
3. HAVING NO OTHER INTERESTS.
It’s just as damaging to act single as it is to be strapped to someone all the time. You do not have to partake in every single thing your partner does. You need your own life, friends, interests, hobbies and alone time. This borders on co-dependency.In a push to fuse with their partner, some people will forget about their own interests, hobbies and goals—things that may have attracted their partners in the first place. To break codependency’s false bond, make a list of how and with whom you spent your free time prior to your relationship—a worthwhile exercise. Try monitoring the amount of alone time you have, as no couple should be spending all their free time together. Pursue an activity on your own, such as going to the gym or take a fun class at your local community college. If you’ve lost touch with friends you genuinely care about in favor of spending time almost exclusively with your partner, regain your identify by making an effort to meet a friend or two for an activity or a meal.” My thoughts on this issue. People's interest are forever changing. You weren't always interesting in all the things you are interested in now. You acquire new taste for things over time. He might have introduced you to many of the things you now love. Or you still have no interest in the things he likes and visa versa.. in that case your days together are numbered the count down has begun! 4. BEING OVERLY SENSITIVE AND INSECURE.
Nothing hurts a relationship more than feeling unworthy. Insecurity leads to jealousy. It’s hard to trust your partner if they aren’t acting trustworthy. If this is the case, then you need to put yourself first and foremost and end the relationship. But, if your partner is not doing anything and you continue to live in the memories of past relationships, then you are the one who needs to straighten up. Insecurity is damaging. It begins to create a web of lies through stories. Take accountability for your behavior. If you want to cherish and keep your present relationship it’s time to release the past. You no longer live back there! My thoughts on this issue. OK some folks need to take a chill pill on insecurities and Jealousy. Negative emotions almost never result in positive results. If your partner can't handle you greeting or hugging an old friend from back in the day without giving you attitude then s/he has trust issues that may have nothing to do with your and your friends actions. 5. ROLLING YOUR EYES, BEING ULTRA SARCASTIC, AND NOT HONORING YOUR PARTNER. We all like a bit of wit and humor, but when it borders on disrespect and a nasty behavior, it is abusive. This type of behavior escalates into being on the defensive and hurting your partner. Walls start going up and the relationship suffers because it is based on meanness and not kindness. There is nothing wrong with comedy and pushing each other’s buttons to get a fun rise. However, when it’s constant, it becomes demoralizing and hurtful. Make your partner aware of this behavior. If it’s you, please step back and realize that you are not being funny but inhumane. Sarcasm can be a form of deflecting insecurities. My thoughts on this issue. Emotional abuse and manipulation happens more often than you might think. The worst part is that sometimes you don’t even realize that it’s happening, which is what makes it so toxic. A person who is good at it will make you miserable and confused as to why they are doing it all the time. The best things a person can do to make sure they don’t fall prey to one of these psychopaths is to learn how to spot manipulative and abusive behavior early, and put a stop to it.
6. LACK OF AFFECTION. Just as being together is too much, the lack of affection in a relationship is damaging. Relationships can fall into a rut after a while but it’s important to keep the magic going. Continue to touch each other in gentleness, kiss each other as you leave the house, and send kind messages throughout the day. No affection is a sign that things have grown apart. If you want to rekindle the relationship then you must take initiative. The longer you let things dwindle, the harder it is to reignite the fire. Cuddling, hand holding, and hugging are simple ways to reintroduce the love you once shared.
My thoughts on this issue. You’re left feeling guilty all the time, for being too whatever..... Constantly feeling guilty and not being sure why is a sign that your partner is making you feel this way on purpose. If everything that goes wrong is always your fault, or they never take responsibility for their behavior or words, or if they make you feel guilty for spending time with others, your partner is using guilt to emotionally abuse you. Lack of affection will be the prevailing behavior or insisting that you cuddle without sex.
7. TEXTING OR BEING ON YOUR PHONE INSTEAD OF COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR PARTNER. Social media and technology have been an incredible asset to our society. However, it is also the death of many relationships. Two people live in the same house and rarely speak to one another. There is a lack of communication. Put the phone away, turn off the computer and sit together to have a meal, or take a walk around the block. Make time to share the things from your day. Your social status can wait an hour or two. It’s not going anywhere, but your partner might just vacate the property if you don’t start to give him/her attention. My thoughts on this issue. Good manners has flown out of the window long before windows 10 came along on your touch screen. People have lost all sense of what's right or wrong behavior. some even sleep with the @#$$%% phone next to their head so that if a nudge come in they will not miss it. I have no idea when this became such of behavioral problem but it ranks up there with temper tantrums. 8. NAGGING. There is something so insidious about a repetitively unpleasant sentence that forces us to do nothing. Nagging is a kill-joy in a relationship. The Wall Street Journal did an article on nagging a few years back titled Meet the Marriage Killer. It states: “Nagging—the interaction in which one person repeatedly makes a request, the other person repeatedly ignores it and both become increasingly annoyed—is an issue every couple will grapple with at some point. While the word itself can provoke chuckles and eye-rolling, the dynamic can potentially be as dangerous to a marriage as adultery or bad finances. Experts say it is exactly the type of toxic communication that can eventually sink a relationship.” The best way to end nagging is to address the issue. Make your partner aware that you have heard the request and it will be addressed. This way it stops the negative statements. My thoughts on this issue. "I want a ring! you don't have to marry me, but I want to show everyone that I'm no longer on the market!" Huh? these were words told to me a few years ago as I was sharing my life with a woman and her two kids....they were living with me. Needless to say it didn't work out the way she expected. I was thinking about getting her a ring, until the " You don't have to marry me" got stuck on my replay button. 9. COMPULSIVE BEHAVIORS. When we are unhappy, we reach for something or someone else. These compulsive behaviors are red flags in relationships. If you are spending your time shopping, over indulging on food or alcohol, or even checking out the porn sites on a daily basis, you have reached a level of disregard for your partner. You need to own up to this behavior and share with your partner what is causing you to exercise these events. Validate your feelings. Being vulnerable is a matter of courageously taking steps to fix your relationship because substituting your need for love is not going to end well. My thoughts on this issue.compulsive behaviors or impulsive behaviors have just slight differences. In both cases they are not good in relationships, if your partner is either of the before mentioned.. you will be faced with many challenges. My attitude in these cases to bid the person farewell and goodbye "Peace with with you, I'm out" 10. DISHONESTY. It goes without saying that dishonesty is the death of a relationship. If you can’t trust the one person that you believe has your best interest, then you don’t belong in that relationship. Whenever you feel unappreciated, distrusted and unloved you are entertaining the darkest parts of your psyche. You are not putting yourself first. You have abandoned ship and have left another to take over. If you have no trust in your partner, then step back and ask a simple question: Why? Has this person caused you to question your worth? Is he/she cheating? Why would you tolerate this from the person closest to you? Dishonesty shows up to provide an opportunity to make a decision in your life. If you are the one being dishonest then find a way to break the cycle. Let that person go. Being honest with yourself is freeing. You must choose to travel life on a righteous path.
My thoughts on this issue.Dishonesty starts with the game playing, after you first meet. being honest become the sort after interaction. Now you know s/he likes you but you have to pretend that you are a game player, or you are really a gamer. the skills you acquire overtime become your MO. But the longer your MO is your true mode of operation in a relationship that has potential the more likely you are going to blow it. I've see it all too often.
