10 BEHAVIORS THAT RUIN MOST RELATIONSHIPS (AND HOW TO AVOID THEM)

We enter relationships in complete bliss and then hit a brick wall in some cases. We don’t know what’s happened, but things are not what they once were and it feels wrong. The zest and juiciness of being in love has become a habit with all the stresses of life.
Some of the following might make you go huh, so true!

1. ACTING LIKE YOU ARE SINGLE.
What defines a loving relationship? Two people! So when you act like you are still single, without consenting to your partner, then you are behaving like you do not commit to that person. When you are in a relationship you must take accountability of that other person’s feelings. Do you just pick up and go without considering your partner? Do you make plans without checking in? Do you keep things from your partner that you know would not be considered righteous to a union? If you cannot commit to a relationship then let that person move on. You cannot keep holding on to the single life while enjoying the benefits of having someone in your bed. You must be honest with that person and with yourself. You want to be single? Be single. If you want to commit to a loving relationship then take accountability for your actions.

My thoughts on this issue. Single is just Single, you can not be a couple unless you both have agreed to be exclusive.  But often enough popular opinions becomes the prevailing status of  dating...... folks are  labeling everything under sun. You meet her for breakfast  or coffee in the morning or a lunch, and boom you're dating..! People see you and they think  You are dating because you are seen in public together... Now you have to come up with  disclaimers, but the other person is liking the label of the two of you being a couple! Oops, this is turning out to be a tough fix, how do you un-ring a bell! 

2. ONLY BEING FINANCIALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOURSELF.

Money issues are a huge challenge in relationships. When you go around spending as if you are the only one in the relationships, things begin to fall apart. This goes back to acting like you are still single. You have a responsibility to your mate to partake in the expenditure. If you are only considering yourself, then you might as well stay single.

My thoughts on this issue. What are we  talking about here a marriage , roommates, committed partners having kids together? What ? Things need to be clearly defined to assume responsibilities with committed financials.. especially now that women make their own money... things can't  be the same as when she was a girl waiting at home in her parents home for her prince to come along and take her away. Today's relations are not like in the old days where Men took care of all her needs. However today if he chooses to do things for you, it his choice, not his responsibility unless you have an union. or he is really committed to take care of you.  




3. HAVING NO OTHER INTERESTS.

It’s just as damaging to act single as it is to be strapped to someone all the time. You do not have to partake in every single thing your partner does. You need your own life, friends, interests, hobbies and alone time. This borders on co-dependency.In a push to fuse with their partner, some people will forget about their own interests, hobbies and goals—things that may have attracted their partners in the first place. To break codependency’s false bond, make a list of how and with whom you spent your free time prior to your relationship—a worthwhile exercise. Try monitoring the amount of alone time you have, as no couple should be spending all their free time together. Pursue an activity on your own, such as going to the gym or take a fun class at your local community college. If you’ve lost touch with friends you genuinely care about in favor of spending time almost exclusively with your partner, regain your identify by making an effort to meet a friend or two for an activity or a meal.”

My thoughts on this issue. People's interest are forever changing. You weren't always interesting in all the things you are interested in now. You acquire new taste for things over time. He might have introduced you to many of the things you now love. Or you still have no interest in the things he likes and visa versa.. in that case your days  together are numbered the count down has begun!  

4. BEING OVERLY SENSITIVE AND INSECURE.

Nothing hurts a relationship more than feeling unworthy. Insecurity leads to jealousy. It’s hard to trust your partner if they aren’t acting trustworthy. If this is the case, then you need to put yourself first and foremost and end the relationship. But, if your partner is not doing anything and you continue to live in the memories of past relationships, then you are the one who needs to straighten up. Insecurity is damaging. It begins to create a web of lies through stories. Take accountability for your behavior. If you want to cherish and keep your present relationship it’s time to release the past. You no longer live back there!

My thoughts on this issue. OK some folks need to take a chill pill on insecurities and Jealousy. Negative emotions almost never result in positive  results. If your partner can't handle you greeting or hugging an old friend from back in the day without giving you attitude  then s/he has trust issues that may have nothing to do with your and your friends actions.   

5. ROLLING YOUR EYES, BEING ULTRA SARCASTIC, AND NOT HONORING YOUR PARTNER.
We all like a bit of wit and humor, but when it borders on disrespect and a nasty behavior, it is abusive. This type of behavior escalates into being on the defensive and hurting your partner. Walls start going up and the relationship suffers because it is based on meanness and not kindness. There is nothing wrong with comedy and pushing each other’s buttons to get a fun rise. However, when it’s constant, it becomes demoralizing and hurtful. Make your partner aware of this behavior. If it’s you, please step back and realize that you are not being funny but inhumane. Sarcasm can be a form of deflecting insecurities.
My thoughts on this issue. Emotional abuse and manipulation happens more often than you might think.  The worst part is that sometimes you don’t even realize that it’s happening, which is what makes it so toxic.  A person who is good at it will make you miserable and confused as to why they are doing it all the time.
The best things a person can do to make sure they don’t fall prey to one of these psychopaths is to learn how to spot manipulative and abusive behavior early, and put a stop to it. 

6. LACK OF AFFECTION.
Just as being together is too much, the lack of affection in a relationship is damaging. Relationships can fall into a rut after a while but it’s important to keep the magic going. Continue to touch each other in gentleness, kiss each other as you leave the house, and send kind messages throughout the day. No affection is a sign that things have grown apart. If you want to rekindle the relationship then you must take initiative. The longer you let things dwindle, the harder it is to reignite the fire. Cuddling, hand holding, and hugging are simple ways to reintroduce the love you once shared.

My thoughts on this issue. You’re left feeling guilty all the time, for being too whatever.....
Constantly feeling guilty and not being sure why is a  sign that your partner is making you feel this way on purpose.  If everything that goes wrong is always your fault, or they never take responsibility for their behavior or words, or if they make you feel guilty for spending time with others, your partner is using guilt to emotionally abuse you. Lack of affection will be the prevailing behavior or insisting that you cuddle without sex.   

7. TEXTING OR BEING ON YOUR PHONE INSTEAD OF COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR PARTNER.
Social media and technology have been an incredible asset to our society. However, it is also the death of many relationships. Two people live in the same house and rarely speak to one another. There is a lack of communication. Put the phone away, turn off the computer and sit together to have a meal, or take a walk around the block. Make time to share the things from your day. Your social status can wait an hour or two. It’s not going anywhere, but your partner might just vacate the property if you don’t start to give him/her attention.

My thoughts on this issue. Good manners has flown out of the window long before windows 10 came along on your touch screen. People have lost all sense of what's right or wrong behavior. some even sleep with the @#$$%% phone next to their head so that if a nudge come in they will not miss it. I have no idea when this became such of behavioral  problem but it ranks up there with temper tantrums.   


8. NAGGING.
There is something so insidious about a repetitively unpleasant sentence that forces us to do nothing. Nagging is a kill-joy in a relationship. The Wall Street Journal did an article on nagging a few years back titled Meet the Marriage Killer. It states: “Nagging—the interaction in which one person repeatedly makes a request, the other person repeatedly ignores it and both become increasingly annoyed—is an issue every couple will grapple with at some point. While the word itself can provoke chuckles and eye-rolling, the dynamic can potentially be as dangerous to a marriage as adultery or bad finances. Experts say it is exactly the type of toxic communication that can eventually sink a relationship.” The best way to end nagging is to address the issue. Make your partner aware that you have heard the request and it will be addressed. This way it stops the negative statements.

My thoughts on this issue. "I want a ring! you don't have to marry me, but I want to show everyone that  I'm no longer on the market!" Huh? these were words told to me a few years ago as I was sharing my life with a woman and her two kids....they were living with me.  Needless to say it didn't work out the way she expected. I was thinking about getting her a ring, until the  " You don't have to marry me" got stuck on my replay button. 

9. COMPULSIVE BEHAVIORS.
When we are unhappy, we reach for something or someone else. These compulsive behaviors are red flags in relationships. If you are spending your time shopping, over indulging on food or alcohol, or even checking out the porn sites on a daily basis, you have reached a level of disregard for your partner. You need to own up to this behavior and share with your partner what is causing you to exercise these events. Validate your feelings. Being vulnerable is a matter of courageously taking steps to fix your relationship because substituting your need for love is not going to end well.

My thoughts on this issue.compulsive behaviors or impulsive  behaviors have just slight  differences. In both cases they are not good in relationships, if your partner is either of the before mentioned.. you will be faced with many challenges. My attitude in these cases to bid the person farewell and goodbye "Peace with with you, I'm out"   

10. DISHONESTY.
It goes without saying that dishonesty is the death of a relationship. If you can’t trust the one person that you believe has your best interest, then you don’t belong in that relationship. Whenever you feel unappreciated, distrusted and unloved you are entertaining the darkest parts of your psyche. You are not putting yourself first. You have abandoned ship and have left another to take over. If you have no trust in your partner, then step back and ask a simple question: Why? Has this person caused you to question your worth? Is he/she cheating? Why would you tolerate this from the person closest to you? Dishonesty shows up to provide an opportunity to make a decision in your life. If you are the one being dishonest then find a way to break the cycle. Let that person go. Being honest with yourself is freeing. You must choose to travel life on a righteous path.

My thoughts on this issue.Dishonesty starts with the game playing, after you first meet. being honest become the sort after  interaction. Now you know s/he likes you but you have to pretend that you are a game player, or you are really a gamer. the skills you acquire overtime become your MO. But the longer your MO is your true mode of operation in a relationship that has potential the more likely you are going to blow it. 
I've  see it all too often.