Are you making things very stressful for yourself ?

According to most medical experts, the things that creates stress are called stressors...there are two typs of stressors internal and external. An external stressor can be for example... a phone call at 10:00 pm from a ex- lover..one youve been trying to get out of your life for some time. She throws a  "I had a baby girl and you're the daddy I was pregnant when you left me ." curve ball at you.

You have your dad's eyes sweetie, but you have my hair!

An Internal stressor arise from circumstances that you create. Picture a situation where your current lover/ fiance  calls you and says he needs to meet with you..... to discuss something very urgent... A week before your wedding.....By the time you two meet, you imagine every conceivable thing that could be wrong. At the conclusion of your meeting, you find that all of those terrible possibilities were much worse than the actual problem

Why are you tripping?
I told it's not that bad...

Your immagination became your enemy because you fed it negative thoughts, and it responded in a like manner you can be your own worst enemy when it comes to internal stressors------another example: you can take the experiences from the past and rehash those memories therefore creating internal stressors in your life.

Not this again!

Now stress can also work the other way--- especially when you underestimate the severity of a problem. So here you have a problem of that ex- girl friend  who has faked situations in the past to get your attention... So you dismissed this current communication of  "we.need to talk"as another easy probem to solve i.e. fake news. But it's not "fake news ".. This new situation is nothing like the other  mess she brought to you in the past...bringing more pressure and aggrevation than you expected. This also is true of the way you talk about your circumstances. sometimes your talk can be so negative that you create addiional stress. I.e. you stretch your Stressor. If you were just to deal with your problem openly and positively you'd solve it. But if you continually talk about negative stuff generating stressors and make your situation worse.. Dont stress yourself out. Dont stretch your problems out of proportion. And never sweat the things that other throw at you..that result in you being knocked off stride.
Learn to deal with them in a constructive manner.

There has to be a better way!

Cheaters are skunks...they can't pass the smell test.....

Ask someone what is something which can be extremely pleasurable sometimes and extremely excruciating some other times and we reckon apart from drugs, it can be relationships. Relationships are hard and complicated. It involves two human beings with varying degree of complexity and thoughts to commit to eachother at the expense of some individual sacrifices. 

You smell like her, stay away from me!
You are a cheater, no need in you denying it...

Because of the complex nature of them, relationships can be sometimes painful to be in. There's always the odd fight which looms around, the sexual tensions which never gets released and the odd tantrums. But perhaps the relationship reaches its breaking point when either you or your partner resorts to infidelity/cheating to find an escape. The revelation that you're being cheated on comes across as shocking and can emotionally cripple you. 
Not anymore, a recent scientific study indicates one major warning point regarding whether to expect your partner would cheat on you or not and cheaters would definitely not like it. (I will have to read up on it some more before Posting it in a future blog)
There often comes a situation in a relationship where a partner feels like he/she is being cheated out of their happiness. Cheating these days is more common than it should be.  Problem is its not just sex, the cheater takes away the secure feeling their partner has and REPLACES it with Doubt, Fair, Insecurity, and Unhappiness and even Depression.
Why do people cheat?

He is so in lust
 he didn't even notice me sitting here

There are many reasons why one would resort to cheating in a relationship. One of the reasons is the toxicity of the relationship or it could be pure lust.  Clear and simple, its being  inconsiderate to your partner! 

I'm Sorry, you were always working
I needed some attention
and he gave it to me!

It's a heavy lift if she has self-esteem issues..

Why are you so unhappy?
Is there anything I can do to help?

It kinda breaks my heart (just a little) to see certain people (Women) complaining that they cant find the right person to love, when its so clear to me that reason they cant, is because they have some serious self-esteem issues to work on first. They are barking up the entirely wrong tree. They shouldnt be looking for a PARTNER-- they should be looking for a therapist. So many people think that having a relationship will fix their low self-esteem and personal problems. Or they think that they are the one exception to the rule that states you really cant find a good relationship with low self-worth. Here are a few reasons you should first fix your issues:

You'll attract people who want to keep you down.

There are people who prey on those with low self-worth. You could wind up attracting alot of these loosers/ predators. These individuals also tend to have their own self-esteem issues, and keeping you down makes them feel better about themselves.

You might also attract someone who will get tired of keeping you up.

At first he is a knight in shining amor who genuinely see the good in you and wants to lift you up. But they'll grow tired of having to wipe off their armor and come to your rescue every single day. Nobody can handle that forever.

People with low self-worth question themselves when they are upset.


You will not trust yourself when you are upset in a relationship. The moment you think you are angry with your lover, you'll tell yourself you are not---- that you are being overly sensitive. This usually results in a very emotionally distant relationship.

Jealousy can become a huge problem

Its very hard to be in a relationship when you have low self- worth and not be tremedously jealous. You typically tell yourself you arent good enough, and now you have to ask yourself if you are better than the woman your lover is talking to.

Your lovers victories will worry you.

So your raise makes your income
double of what I make !? 

Rather than be happy for your lover when something good happens to him- youll just worry if he is becoming too good for you.

You will not take critism well

Your partner will not be able to give you even the smallest note critism because he worries that constructive critism will be miss interpreted...... And could destroy you for days.

You'll require constant reassurance.

You need. Your lover to constantly reassure you that he is happy with you, that he wants to be in this relationship, that he truly loves you, that he finds you attractive, that hes glad to spend his Monday- Sunday nights with you...it will get to be too much for him.

For self reassurance. You might unintentionally seek out other attention.

Would like to go for a drink
After you finish training ?

Without even realizing it, you may cross the line with other men. You might let in Appropriate comments slide. You may accept a drink from a man you know is more than just casually interested in you. subconsciously, you desperately need exterior validation so you dont have boundaries with other men.

You cant even recognize real love.

You dont even really appreciate. A great partner because you are so unhappy on the inside. You may not even praise or thank your partner very often, because you cant even feel his love for you.

Out of desperation---- you'll settle for anybody.

How in the World did
 I settle  for this looser?

Truly, when you have low self-worth, you also have very low standards. You are looking for any outside validation you can get and so you endup in another crappy relationship.

So how do you make it last ?

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4 Habits of Couples That Last

Being in a strong and healthy relationship means both partners are supporting each other and demonstrate their love every day. Even though it seems easy, achieving this level of commitment in a relationship takes a little work. I know this because it's what worked for my marriage for 24 years. Then we stopped doing the this that was working and ended up getting divorced.

Secrets of Great Marriages is a book from Linda and Charlie Bloom who explained how you can make your relationship last. They said: “The experience of nurturing the relationship no longer feels like effort or work, but literally becomes a labor of love that feels more like a gift, a joyful opportunity for which we feel grateful and blessed.”

Every relationship requires emotional work which includes taking care of each other’s feelings. Emotional work is not something we hear about every day; however, psychologists have listed it as a big happiness factor.

According to researchers in the Journal of Family issues:

‘Family members do work to meet people’s emotional needs, improve their well-being, and maintain harmony. When emotional work is shared equally, both men and women have access to emotional resources in the family. However, like housework and childcare, the distribution of emotional work is gendered.

The researchers also showed the importance of emotional work in order to have a healthy relationship. Gender imbalance between partners can destroy the marriage and if the woman is discriminated against.. she is at risk of psychological distress.

Also, men should be able to identify the emotional cues in order to help their partner release her feelings. If a man supports his lady emotionally, the relationship is very likely to last long.

"Dad, are we doing a good job
 on Mom's car?
Will this make her smile?"
"When mom's happy we are all happy, son!"

1.Working on solving problems

We face challenges every day in every aspect of our lives including our relationship. Some couples are not coordinated enough and they rarely discuss their everyday life. This involves minor things such as planning what to have for dinner as well as the future plans regarding finance, health, social commitments, family planning etc.

Couples that look to the future together are contributing to the longevity of their relationship. They are also likely to share the same goals which is even better because then you are both going to be equally involved in achieving it.

2.Communicate openly

This does not only refer to talking with your partner. An open communication included understanding your partner and after expressing yourself you wait for them to tell you their opinion.

Having good communication skills includes being an excellent listener. A misunderstanding in a relationship can lead to anger and tension. To avoid them, always be fully present when your partner is talking to you. When they are done, ask questions so that they know you have been paying attention and you understand them. An open communication also helps strengthen the trust because lasting couples will never hide anything from each other.

3.Create a shared special moment

As a couple you should look back to the day that passed and discuss it with each other. Talk about anything that worries you or ask your partner if there is something you can do to make them feel better. In a lasting relationship it is never difficult to create a special moment. The only thing you need is knowing your partner well and finding the right moment. For example, think of one thing that you can give your partner which they have always wanted. Small and insignificant moments such as giving your partner a backrub or cuddling in bed can make your relationship much stronger and you will feel more connected.

4.Reaffirm the commitment

Every single day you choose to stay with your partner means you are making a conscious commitment. You have the will to find someone else, and the fact that you don’t is very important by itself.

Be aware of your own will to stay with your partner and think of the reasons why you choose to stay. If you think about the important things that make you want to spend your life with that person you will appreciate what you have more and you are very likely to remain together.
Oops... here is what stopped being important to me... I stopped feeling the need to do all of the above, as a result, my now-ex-wife felt unhappy  and it seemed like I didn't care about her or our lives together anymore! So she started listening to friends who were in the same type of boats all were divorced or single.
" You don't need him anymore" was their rally cry.

Ladiez are you wasting Prime time?

Ladiez here are 3 Signs You’re Dating, and wasting time with the Wrong Person! We Men and women don't have time to waste on the wrong people.

 Here's how to make sure you don't waste any-more prime time. You’ve been dating for a while and he’s Mr. More or less Perfect. He opened your car doors, treats you like a lady and pays for dinner every time you go out. At least he used to in the beginning. But now, he barely responds to your text messages and doesn’t have much time to see you because he is always “very busy.” Often, women tend to fall for the smoke and mirrors when it comes to love, but before it gets to that point, there are always signs. Here are three signs that you may be dating the wrong person for you...

Let's just read together 

 1) You are not a major priority. We all understand that having a life outside of your relationship is critical, but if you find yourself at the bottom of your mate’s list of priorities, then you might want to rethink your future with this kind of guys... Someone who takes you seriously makes you a priority and you will never have to fight for their attention. 

2) You have different morals and values. No relationship will last without two whole individuals. And while you may have different personalities, what should be aligned iare your morals and values. If you’re with someone who thinks it is OK to behave in a way that goes against your beliefs, then you’re with the wrong person.

 3) He has no interest in your future. Someone who is serious about you will ask about your plans. Why? Because they want to be of service in assisting you with making your dreams come true AND he expect you to be around to do the same for him. If your current mate doesn’t care about your goals, nor does he seem to be interested in making plans with you, then he might not be as invested as you’d like.

 Now Look at the 3 examples   again and ask Yourself is there a commitment ring coming this next Christmas holiday, birthday or Valentines day...which ever comes first. Or will you be strung along for another decade or longer?

Teacher what's the meaning of Love and Marriage?

One student asked his teacher about what is love. Then the teacher answered:

“In order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.”

Then, the student went to the field, went through the first row and saw one big wheat but he wondered that maybe there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another which was bigger than the previous one. But he again thought that there is maybe another bigger one which is waiting for him.

Later, when the student finished more than half of the wheat field, he started realizing that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, so he knew that he has missed the biggest one and now he regretted about that.

So, he came back to the teacher with his hands empty. The teacher then told him:

“…This is love… You keep looking for a better one, but when later you realize, you have already miss the person….”

Then the student asked his teacher what marriage is. The teacher said again:

“In order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.”

Then, the student went to the corn field, but this time he was careful not to repeat the same mistake as before. When he came in the middle of the field, he picked one medium corn and he felt satisfied, and came back to his teacher.

Then the teacher told him the following:

“This time you bring back a corn…. You look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get…. This is marriage!" 

Mmmm Hmmmmm....now someone might say "not today! We are in different  times.... each time we think we have fallen in love... we think we have flipped the"me" to "we" until we can't take it anymore then we flip again to "me."

More often than not the stress of what was at first easy to rotate 180 degrees....becomes a 360 degrees rotation. As folks keep moving forward exercising their options. Selfishness, becomes the normal thing. As the teacher explained searching for wheat was love but picking  the Corn is finding the right one leading to Marriage. It should stop there! ... satisfaction guaranteed!  No trading in  or trading up in your future... but ... once again these times we live in sets us up for failed relationships, simply because trading options pop up on our radars daily. And disatisfaction raises up its ugly head.

 This happens all too often leading to things end...... and both parties are left wondering just where did they go wrong? Their Pride speaks louder than words at that point ... leading to unmet expectations.. So......

" Lets just K I S S and say goodbye!"

Why Do you still ask .....if you expect "No" for an answer

SMDH. If you know what her  answer will be ......why bother asking? 

While growing up my frustrations used to boil over when I would ask my mom for something and her answer was"No".... I developed the attitude 'If I already know you are going to say NO then why ask???'. This  used to confuse most women that I dated later in my teen years and beyond . Why didn't I ask if I wanted something from her. Im that guy who  thinks in Simple terms...because .... your body language gave me the answer before I opened my mouth, to ask you for what you are not willing to give. Some folks will say you already have the answer  "No" why not ask and see if this time she will say "yes". SMDH... because "no" means "no" if you are a gamer then you play games of daring her to do what she does not want to do... if you are straight forward then you don't bother playing  games ..I always use the K.I.S.S. keep it simple stupid Approach.

Back to my mom... I would  ask something that I knew she would say "yes" to... then wait to  tell her what I wanted ( in exchange ) for my good deed i.e. get rewarded after I completed the task for example: Mom, the car is very dirty.... do you want me to wash your car?'

She  always answered "yes"... then after I finished  washing the car I would then ask ' now that I've washed the car could I do X or can I have Y' she then had two choices as to which she would reward me for voluntaring to washing the car. And doing A+ Good job! She wouldn't ... have the heart to say" no" to both X and Y. OK but there was always conditions.... I didn't have total free reign ...there was always a time limit... sometime there were conditions I didn't even expect or thought about. Mmmm- hmmm she would at times suggest a 3rd possibility..as my reward!

This is Proof that women are smarter than boys and some men, who think they are slick. 

Now that I'm a grown man I still work the reward system to perfection. Always keeping in mind that there could be a 3rd option. first I give.... then I negotiate my reward if there is a reward to be had.. no  nice woman rejects kind thoughtful gestures....totally.
So fellahs she knows that you want something from her, so do what you know will gets her in the mood to say "Yes"... then surprise her by not asking for it on the spot. Wait for the right time.

So, why didn't he ask me again? I was ready to say "yes"!

Set the next level of gaming by giving her at least 2 choices before  asking for option #1 or option#2 ...whatever is in play. Hmmmm Strip poker?... this maybe a good game.who ever looses gets to do what ever is the winners favorite's fantasy Watch out there now!  A option #3 might now be in play!

Not all successful women are Alpha women, some are Beta!

While Alpha titles standout Beta female are great in their own right.

I don't need to be an Alpha
 to be great!

Female Labels come and go, they are trendy for a period of time then they are labels of the past generations. As women become more assertive in their quest to make their mark...mainly in the business world They are force to behave in the manner that is necessary to succeed... Some would label that "Alpha female " behavior.... I will differ because acting like an asertive person can very well be just an act of following a script... But once she gets home and kicks off her shoes and lets her hair down the scene changes as does her behaviour. At that moment the beta female emerges... One who is the same person she was before graduation with her MBA. That person is who many wonder about. Did the need to succeed harden her or is it a temporary act to overcome the stereotype label women get... Of a temporary occupant of a corporate seat at the round boardroom table... Where tough decission are made daily. And no crying is allowed. However the thing that many beta women want is Alpha success and still a Beta homelife.... At least so I was told by a few ladies I had a conversation with on the topic... They want success in business world until the need for a baby carriage arises. Here is where the true Alpha women make tough choices her career or her maternal purpose... Yes, you can be both the BOSS and Chief. Homemaker like Michelle Obama... However Mrs Obama made great sacrifies so that her husbands career could hit the jackpot. Not her career.. Which was put on hold. His career needed her support, without her carrying the load of their family life he might not have become President...please note: .She didnt run for first lady, that title was awarded to her when her soulmate became president... And she then had a platform on which she could really have an impact on women feeling they too could have it all. Oooh but Ladies name two men you know who have president Obama's Skillset. Or how many career women would have given up their careers to become first lady?? I would bet not many names come to mind. Some might think of a few unproven individuals but none, I'm sure, are in your circle of friends, associates and colleagues. They have yet to grt there .. You would be so very surprised if they did, because there is not much room at the top...if there were it would be shaped differently. The slight contrast between Alpha and Beta women is that Beta women compromise more... They are willing to take a seat at the boardroom table and skillfully debate with the best, but are also willing to sit out being in the star line up. Michelle Obama is a perfect example of who I just described ... For more info on her willingness to be the support roll player you can read barack Obama (Best seller)

the Audacity of hope.. Chapter 9 ... "Family". True Alpha men and women are never willing to sit out an opportunity to shine, they grab the chance to be the star.... They are not support roll material.

I wish I had someone at home
 to call me "Mommy."

We were NOT made ready!

I decised to give a little insight about why----- even strong men may choose to not deal with strong women.....even though we may prefer them over weaker women.

A woman becomes stronger by enduring pain, making sacrifices, overcoming heart-breaking experiences, having struggles and being selfless. For more read this link ehttp://sxmperspective.blogspot.com/2017/10/s-ome-dont-understand-so-i-hope-im.html?m=1

Ladies no question that your trials and tribulations have strengthen you....
But we guys want to still be that knight you often  claim you want... No dragons to slay   but still like some heavy lifting now and then... Which  makes us feel like the trips to the gym 3xtimes a week has done some good......

1.A strong woman doesn’t need a man to fight for her

The truth of the matter....is men strong or not like to prove that we  can handle adversity... If she does not need a man to handle the things he knows he can handle.. Then this instantly trigger a shut down. Engine failure. Restart button deactivated!

2.A strong woman knows what she wants

This is where a guy might say "stop and  wait a minute, you know what you want... But is that what you really want ....is it really right for you? He may not have the right on the spot answers, because its your mind which is  made up . so then  what you want .....then this is the only choice. Your stubbornness will make him bailout at 14,000 feet parachute and all...hmmmm Fooled you...... he was not killing himself.

3.She will require honesty and vulnerability

Yeah men need to be honest and forth coming no argument there
--- but vulnerable is a tall order.. Dont ask too much  of that until he is ready......men dont like being told to be vulnerable... Remember most men grewup hearing real men dont cry..( vulnerable falls in that category in our minds). I'm sure you prefer us in that, not to vulnerable, way...also.
.

4.A strong woman is not afraid of intimacy.

Here we go , men are not afraid of intimacy, we just interpret it differently  than you strong women do. Now weaker women understand it the way most  men do----  this  is why weaker women can call a man over an he knows that she knows what he wants and so this is why he does not mind  jumping in the car and rolling to the spot.

5.A strong woman can see through lies.

Yeah this is why the best prosecutors are women...
They can see it in your eyes.. In your body language in  your avoidious of answering the tough questions... Now ask yourself Ms. Strong woman would you like to be always in the hot seat

6.A strong woman wants integrity and consistency

Men these day have gotten a bad rap because of celebrities doing wrong things.... Boys are inconsiderate and treat girls like throw away disposable. Items. Etc....
Real men, now have to keep cleaning up their mess.. Thank God for Barack Obama, who showed women that a man can be what she dreamed of.... There are more out there like him...but we are not clones...

7.A strong woman is intense

Intense can be a very good thing... That means she is focussed... Men hate flighty women who cant decide on much... Exept strong women can give you hell if you take too long to make the deal. Yeah that intencity can back fire on you also... Causing the deal to get voided.

8.A strong woman will not wait for you

Point taken... But she expects a real man to wait for her.. To finish her list of to does...career goals and what ever else. Ok I have to be  fare here women in the past were force to wait because of the way things were....so now that things have changed. For women....you can call the shots... Just aim......Corectly.

9.A strong woman will love you unconditionally

Here again is one of those words that make real men pause... What does unconditionally really mean? now since I wrote both blogs let me tell you what I think is unconditional. Love....a women loves her child from birth  uncondionally, but her man is on a short leash and willl find himself hanging if he tries to,lengthen that leash. Dont stretch it till it snaps. Because it cant be mended. Once Broken beyond repair... I hope you see. What Im saying here.

10.A strong woman will show you who you are.

Damn... SMDH I did my best to. COVER-up my flaws and play  down the vulnerable stuff...and  now you are pulling the bandaid off .... I dont think, I was ready...yet.
Thats right "He was not ready" in a Kevin Hart voice.

Barry Paul Price writes, “Dating a strong woman is not something every guy can handle. He has to be confident in himself as a person, and as a man. Men must feel capable of meeting a woman’s needs.

True, true to the above...here is the real explanation... Things changed from previous generations without warning....... our coaches were our dads, uncles, grand fathers...school teachers spots coaches etc They could not handle todays women either so how do we" Real men" of tiday  adjust on the fly...without any training..."strong women. Of today" need to help with the training. If you want some examples on how to train us to be more like Barack ask Mrs Michelle Obama!

Some don't understand so I hope I'm helping !

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Here are Some Reasons Why Most Men Can’t Handle A Strong Woman

A woman becomes stronger by enduring pain, making sacrifices, overcoming heart-breaking experiences, having struggles and being selfless. This woman has been in deep and deadly waters and has managed to survive them. She is aware that in life you can be a teacher and also the student. However, men have trouble understanding strong women, probably because of the following reasons.

1.A strong woman doesn’t need a man to fight for her

Most men want to feel wanted. A strong woman will show her love for her man however she will also let him know that she can handle things by herself. She is able to fight for both of you instead of letting the man fight her battles. If there is a problem she will never remain silent, she will fight and deal with it anyway she can.

2.A strong woman knows what she wants

Strong women are always aware of what they want and how to keep it once they get it. If she likes a man she won’t wait for him to make the first move. Her independence can be intimidating for most men however confident men have no trouble having a strong woman as their partner.

3.She will require honesty and vulnerability

Men are not that comfortable talking about everything unlike strong women who want to discuss traumas, life-changing experiences and the things that hurt them in the past. A strong woman has been through a lot in her life which is why she wants an honest and vulnerable man she can identify with.

4.A strong woman is not afraid of intimacy

This does not refer only to making love. It is about intimacy in all aspects of life. A strong woman will never keep something a secret from her partner because she is comfortable with her passion and femininity.

5.A strong woman can see through lies

Strong women want honesty and trust in the relationship and they can sense lies the minute they are told to them. Since she doesn’t want to hold anything from you, you should also do that with her. If you have trouble being with her completely she will find a way to live with you sooner than you may think.

6.A strong woman wants integrity and consistency

Strong women don’t like inconsistency. They want respect and integrity from their partner and if he feels like he is becoming distant she will let him know that she is aware of it. A strong woman wants to feel like she is loved unconditionally and being disrespectful towards her will disappoint her the most.

7.A strong woman is intense

She has been through very tough challenges and obstacles which required a lot of strength and power. She is prepared to endure the hurt and pain again which is something men are unable to completely understand. She will share her past scars with you and she will expect you to do the same thing without having secrets.

8.A strong woman will not wait for you

A strong woman wants to know you are committed to her and if you pull back she will let you go. If you want more time to decide whether you want her she will never wait for you. She might feel hurt, however she will get over it and prepare herself for the following challenge or obstacle.

9.A strong woman will love you unconditionally

Strong women are faithful and they will nurture you just like a mother nurtures her children. If she feels she is receiving the love she is giving, she will do anything for you. This unconditional love and support are often frightening for some men which is the most common reason why they leave strong women. However, she will never fight for you if you don’t love her because she knows how much she is worth.

10.A strong woman will show you who you are

We have trouble accepting the things we don’t like about ourselves when someone points them out. A strong woman will show you how you can change yourself so that you can become better and stronger and she will teach you how to accept yourself and become more confident. Strong women find strong men which know how to deal with the honesty and intelligence.

Barry Paul Price writes, “Dating a strong woman is not something every guy can handle. He has to be confident in himself as a person, and as a man. Men must feel capable of meeting a woman’s needs. Traditionally, we did that providing financial security and physical protection. More recently, as women have expressed themselves with more independence and toughness, men aren’t sure how or when they’re needed by their woman. He ends up feeling unsure of his value and significance in the relationship. Many women tell me their man’s emotional support is just as important as financial and physical contributions. 

OK so Delta is not so great, in this lady''s view!

1. Every now and then one of my readers would send me their thought on my blog post. The following is on Delta force at your service post... I must admit I liked being corrected just a little.
2. 
3. Response from a female reader:
4. Your definitions are a little off in some cases, and way off in others. You’re right about the alpha having superior genes for physical strength and attractiveness, but a male with those qualities would have to also possess at least average intelligence otherwise he’d just be a dumb jock beta. Betas are the yes-men suck-ups of the world, the ones who glad-hand themselves up the social ladder, and they are by far the most common type. In fact, the whole obsession the so-called ‘manosphere’ has over alpha male traits is driven by beta insecurity. Any time you see a bunch of guys talking about what it means to be an alpha, those guys are all betas. They’re actually a sub-type of Beta I call the Cargo-Cult-Alphas; they ape the behavior they think makes an Alpha an Alpha, but since they’re just Betas they come off as total misogynist jerks and social bullies when they try to behave the way they think an Alpha should. The omega is the outcast, he can be in an immature state of arrested development as you noted, but that’s just as likely to be a trait of the beta as it is the omega. The omega is a total loser in life, lives in his parents basement not because he hasn’t grown up, but because he is incapable of succeeding in life. He is often very narcissistic which is a quality that is obviously only attractive in the alpha. Omegas must think highly of themselves to protect their ego from the psychologically devastating realization that they are, in reality, profoundly inferior. The Delta is an interesting concept, and I’d contend, that if it exists as a seperate catagory it consists of betas who are not very good at (or complete failures) being a Beta. These would be guys who possess all the qualities required to be successful betas, but they’re either not very good at sucking up to their superiors, or they resent having to suck up. So they’re always being passed up for promotion, even though they’re often the most capable person in the company. They tend to have above-average intelligence and are not outcasts because they have skills that are in demand. They’re often the ones tasked with having to do all the ‘real work’ while the more successful betas around them have managed to suck-up enough to their superiors to not have to do much work (because when you’re promoted, you make the people under you do the work). Deltas are, naturally, chronically frustrated with life. Then there’s the Gamma, he’s got all the traits required to be an Alpha, but he despises all the Betas who are constantly sucking up to him, so rather than becoming a lawyer, like every self-respecting Alpha does, the Gamma drops out and becomes one of those perfect physical specimens who lives on the beach and does nothing.
5. So I will have to do a post on Gamma males next....because some females out there are wondering  if their dead beat baby daddies are Gamma males!?? Or are these gamma guys just misunderstood beta  guys who are searching for their purpose in life.

Delta force at your service?

Funny enough, all women seemed to agree on or have experienced some version(s) of the following:

1. Women are attracted to alpha males
   If they choose an alpha male, they may feel ‘diminished’/frustrated at some point in the relationship. Trying to make the alpha male ‘softer’ has proven to be an impossible task.
2. Women are not necessarily as physically attracted to the beta male – although they like him.
   If they choose the beta male, they will at some point crave the ‘alpha’ part. So either they take it on themselves and become tired, or try, unsuccessfully, to change the beta male.

So I started analyzing the alphabet a bit…

Who is an Alpha male? 
He is the manly, fit looking guy with the good genes, the bad, dominant boy who knows what he wants and gets it.

Who is the Beta male? 
He is the nice guy who befriends you, may have nerdy tendencies, is emotional and/or introverted.

Evolution has programmed women to select the alpha male, the provider of food, shelter and security as well as the genes of the fittest for survival. Men were hunters and not needed in housekeeping or childcare.
Nowadays, however, women much less need male protection as they can support themselves. So they often look towards other, softer, qualities as they also want the men to participate in making a home and raising their children.
A testosterone charged alpha bully is also not seen as an ideal candidate in a work environment where team-work, cooperation and diplomacy are needed nowadays.

Then there is the Omega male. 
He is the guy that doesn’t want to grow up. He loves his comic book collection, excessively games, never left his student pad, goes out and parties. The female species does consider him quite the loser.

So then, say you, what option do I have? 
Women want the alpha male for his obvious qualities, but they also want him to be emotionally intelligent, self aware, share their values, listen and learn.
Women like the Beta male for exactly those qualities, but find that he is too quickly intimidated, needs to  be validated, and pities himself.

The solution: the Delta male. 

B.A.D. ---Beta Alpha Delta

You could also call him the mature Alpha male or the assertive Beta male. He has both Alpha and Beta qualities.
Because Sensitivity and Assertiveness are not opposites!
Put simply, it looks like this:

The Delta male:

• knows what he wants but doesn’t let his ego take control.
• is self-fulfilled instead of selfish.
• has assertive instead of aggressive energy
• is self-aware instead of self-absorbed.
• is able to process discomfort.
• cooperates with women instead of competing.
• views women as partners instead of possessions.
• shares values instead of wanting his needs met.
• values communication above validation.
• lives his life love-based instead of fear-driven.
• sees himself as a student of life, not a victim.
• looks for meaningful experiences instead of chasing meaningless things

The only thing you have to do now is find him 

NONE of these four!