When we do the right things, we create better harmony!

 Things To Tell Your Partner When Your Relationship Is becoming Difficult!


RELATIONSHIPS ARE COMPLEX.

Things are tough at home right now and have been for some time. Do you press the eject button, reset button or do you press on?

Before throwing your partner’s things in a bin liner and calling a divorce lawyer, let us take a trip to the beautiful islands of Hawai, (an alternative to many islands in the Carribbean are recovering from a monster hurricanes season) the warmth of the sand on Waikiki Beach between your toes with the refreshing Trade Winds gently blowing. Let your imagination comfort you for a moment and let's become one with the indigenous Hawaiian people, for part of our journey today involves teachings from H o’oponopono. As we go through the list, the parts of Ho’oponopono will become apparent and will be explained in relation to how to remedy difficulty in relationships.

 THINGS TO TELL YOUR PARTNER WHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS DIFFICULT.

1. “WHAT DO YOU NEED FROM ME RIGHT NOW?”

Here is the normal scenario: There is a disagreement or argument brewing. Wife wants to fight. Husband wants to withdraw. She gives chase, hoping for a reaction and he normally tries to stay silent (trying to avoid a fight.) Naturally, these roles can be reversed.

Asking the above question to your partner tells them subtly that you want to connect, not withdraw or avoid. This will in turn calm them down, which gives licence to civilised discussion and possible problem solving.

2. “HOW CAN I HELP TO TAKE SOME OF THE BURDEN OFF YOU TODAY?”

The response could be as simple as a “please listen to me” after a long, hard day or as intimate as giving a nice back rub, foot rub if on their feet most of the time. This gives your partner an opportunity to let off steam in whichever way they choose. This shows that you are as cool as a cucumber under pressure, and not going bananas like a crazed person!

Asking the above question to your partner tells them subtly that you care for them despite what has gone on between the pair of you. You are in a relationship and both parties have the right to benefits by being in one.

3. “I’M SORRY!”

Being specific as to why and how to improve for next time.

Grab your sun-screen and your beach towel, folks, it is time to make our first stop in Hawaii. This is Ho’oponopono Rule #1. Being sorry, or “minamina” in Hawaiian, because you know that you have done wrong and want to make right that wrong breathes life into the lungs of a relationship, much like the aforementioned Trade Winds in the Hawaiian archipelago. Being specific about why you are sorry is very important because it disarms more powerfully and talking of improving on that foible can start to melt the Ice King/Queen.

Example: “I apologise for not taking out the trash last night, babe. I understand that the kitchen stinks because of my forgetful actions ..... I will be more aware next time.”

4. “THANK YOU.”

Being specific as to why.

Staying in Hawaii for this  one. This is Ho’oponopono Rule #3. Being grateful is such an appealing trait and makes you a more attractive person. It works in Waikiki Beach or anywhere eldest . It makes your significant other want to do more things with you and for you because you let them know that you appreciate them and especially so if you are thanking them for mundane tasks, people do not expect it for those. This following example is like having your feet caressed by the warm Pacific Ocean waters on the Hawaiian beach. Mahalo!

Example: “Thank you so much for taking out the trash last night, babe. I really appreciate it when you take the time to do it, even though you have that important meeting with your boss this morning.”

5. “I’M PROUD OF YOU.”

Being specific as to why.

Knowing that you are doing well and having your good work appreciated at home is deeply rewarding. Feeling valued with your loved ones will give an ego boost guaranteed, making the smallest of us feel like the tallest. This is accentuated by big news, like a promotion or playing/coaching a grassroots sports team. Or even better when your partner does something outstanding.... Like make partner in their firm.

You did it.
I'm truly happy for you.