This guy has had so many women, I wonder what number I am? Maybe I'm his last choice?? |
“Some people treat relationship as a video game; they play them, and when they get bored – then they cheat.” – Anonymous
If you’ve ever gone to the zoo or watched a nature program, you’ve seen the way monkeys swing from tree branch to tree branch. Oftentimes, they seem to fly through the air without ever setting foot on the ground.
This behavior can also describe a certain type of serial monogamist: “Monkey Branchers.” They often go from one relationship to the next without giving themselves time to “hit the ground.” These types of people generally exhibit telling behaviors that set them apart. If you think your partner might be a “monkey,” look out for the following behaviors.
1. THEY HAVE A LONG LINE OF EX-PARTNERS
There is no “good” or “bad” number when it comes to having former relationship partners. However, you gain insight as to whether or not someone has a problem with “monkey branching” by considering the total number of relationships (and the length of time between each one).
Serial monogamists tend to have a long line of ex’s, with very little time between each partner. If your partner can’t remember the last time they were single, they might have a tendency to hop from one relationship to the next.
2. THEY’RE CONSTANTLY FLIRTING
A part of monkey branching is flirting with other people while they’re still in a relationship. Basically, they want the feeling that they are free to swing from one branch to the next. That is to say, they want to move from one relationship directly into another.
If your partner frequently flirts with words or gestures, you might want to keep an eye on how seriously they’re flirting with other people. They may very well be preparing to swing from your relationship to another without giving you any other warning signs.
3. YOU DEFINITELY WON’T BE MEETING THEIR FRIENDS
Monkey branchers date so many people and change partners so quickly, they tend not to introduce their new partners to their friends. When you hang out, it’s always going to be just the two of you. If you express interest in meeting their friends, they always have an excuse as to why you can’t meet them just yet. If you’re dating someone who doesn’t express any interest in introducing you to their friends, you want to be on the lookout for other behaviors of a monkey brancher.
4. THEY DON’T WANT TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
For the most part, a monkey brancher is only interested in going from relationship to relationship. They’re always chasing the next “romantic high,” so they’re probably not going to put much effort into making the relationship something that is long-lasting. This means that you might have a hard time getting them to meet your friends. Meeting the friends is a big step in many relationships, and a monkey brancher isn’t equipped to deal with serious commitments.
So you don't want to go to gym with me? |
5. THEY DON’T SEEM TO HAVE BOUNDARIES
On the first date, they’re already excited to get the relationship moving. This is because they just ended a relationship or are ready to use you as a “branch” in order to leave their current one. Most likely, this person may try to rush into the more serious and physical aspects of a relationship right away. Their boundaries tend to be few and far between, and they will have trouble respecting yours.
If it feels like the beginning of your relationship moved too quickly, you’re probably dating a monkey brancher. Andrea Mathews, a licensed professional counselor, suggests that many of us have been taught guilt overexerting our boundaries. This could be a reason that monkey branchers have such an easy time rolling over other people’s boundaries.
Final thoughts
You don’t want to be caught in a relationship with a " monkey brancher. " The problem is, most people fail to recognize a term exists for people like this. If you notice something seems a little off about your partner’s behavior, keep asking questions about who, what, when and where... so you can get a clearer picture,you don't want to be singing this tune!
"How can I ease the pain"
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