Commitment is key to making it work long term!

We are all In,

it's fun putting in work

Being in a strong and healthy relationship means both partners are supporting each other and demonstrate their love every day. Even though it seems easy, achieving this level of commitment in a relationship takes more than a little work.

I will try to explain how you can make your relationship last. When the experience of nurturing the relationship no longer feels like MAJOR effort or work but literally becomes a labor of love that feels more like a gift, a joyful opportunity for which we feel grateful and blessed. You are on the right path.

Every relationship requires emotional work which includes taking care of each other’s feelings. Emotional work is not something we hear about every day; however, psychologists have listed it as a big happiness factor.

According to researchers in the Journal of Family Issues:

‘Family members do work to meet people’s emotional needs, improve their well-being, and maintain harmony. When emotional work is shared equally, both men and women have access to emotional resources in the family. However, like housework and childcare, the distribution of emotional work is gendered.

The researchers also showed the importance of emotional work in order to have a healthy relationship. Gender imbalance between partners can destroy the marriage and if the woman is discriminated she is at risk of psychological distress.

Also, men should be able to identify the emotional cues in order to help their woman release her feelings. If a man supports his partner emotionally, the relationship is very likely to last long. Well, she should do the same.

Working on solving problems together

We face challenges every day in every aspect of our lives including our relationship. Some couples are not coordinated enough and they rarely discuss their everyday life. This involves minor things such as planning what to have for dinner as well as the future plans regarding finance, health, social commitments, family planning etc.

Couples that look to the future together are contributing to the longevity of their relationship. They are also likely to share the same goals which is even better because then you are both going to be equally involved in achieving it.

Communicate openly

This does not only refer to talking with your partner. An open communication included understanding your partner and after expressing yourself you wait for them to tell you their opinion.

Having good communication skills includes being an excellent listener. A misunderstanding in a relationship can lead to anger and tension. To avoid them, always be fully present when your partner is talking to you. When they are done, ask questions so that they know you have been paying attention and you understand them. An open communication also helps strengthen the trust because lasting couples will never hide anything from each other.

Create a shared special moment

As a couple, you should look back to the day that passed and discuss it with each other. Talk about anything that worries you or ask your partner if there is something you can do to make them feel better. In a lasting relationship, it is never difficult to create a special moment. The only thing you need is knowing your partner well and finding the right moment. For example, think of one thing that you can give your partner which they have always wanted. Small and insignificant moments such as giving your partner a backrub or cuddling in bed can make your relationship much stronger and you will feel more connected.

Reaffirm the commitment

Every single day you choose to stay with your partner means you are making a conscious commitment. You have the option to find someone else, and the fact that you don’t even try is very important in itself.

Be aware of your own will to stay with your partner and think of the reasons why you choose to stay. If you think about the important things that make you want to spend your life with that person you will appreciate what you have... and nurture it.

Some people like the movie trailer.... but not necessarily the movie.

It only takes a moment to review the movie trailer! 

It's all too easy to get caught up in the routine or even caught up "in" the moment. We count down the hours instead of enjoying our time and we long for something more, but in the end, we are left with the mundane, boring, everyday activities that make up our lives.

You lifted me! and swept me off of my feet

Once in a while, something special happens. A fleeting glance, an accidental touch, a returned smile: these moments show us a glimpse of something different, something more. We think about them and what they could mean for us, the path not taken and the life not lived.

super hot 

But what if you could make those moments happen yourself? Feel the butterflies, the experience they desire and know what it is not to just live but to really come alive?  is the place to start your journey, to find your moment. One-night stands are typically known for being either super hot or totally regrettable.
If your experiences have been less than ideal, you’re not alone. In fact, a 2017 survey conducted by data scientists at DrEd.com found that 81% of women felt “unsatisfied” with their one-night stand experiences — and that sucks. What’s the point of having casual sex if it’s not even fun? Right ladies? The good news is it’s possible to have a one-night stand that’s actually pleasurable for you. It really comes down to comfort and safety. In other words, having a “good” one-night stand is only possible once you get clear on what being safe means to you. There is a few things ‘safety’ can actually mean. Being physically safe from someone harming you, having safer sex, and being able to make and communicate decisions about your limits and boundaries.

Am I safe in your embrace?
 Or should I be worried a little bit?

If you do feel safe, that’s a great start — but what about your pleasure? There are so many different factors that go into having an orgasm during sex. If you’re stressed over the possibility of getting pregnant, contracting an STI, or sleeping with the wrong person, reaching the big O — or even just enjoying sex — is going to be quite the challenge.
Final thoughts.
When you can remember things about that one night person you had a moment with more than a few years ago and you can still call that person on the phone, and have them remember all the same detail you remember. You know it was a trailer that can be played and replayed over and over mentally because the movie never got completed and produced and published!

Will you remember me tomorrow or even years from now! 
Ooooh yeah!

Do you recognize the signs your mate is looking for a different partner

I'm in the closet making this call,
let's just meet at our spot.

Being cheated on is the worst feeling in the world. The trust you’ve lost along the way make you feel like you can never believe in love again. Unfortunately, most of us have probably experienced being cheated on. In fact, it’s getting more common, especially in relationships between younger people.

So, it’s only natural that we strive to develop defense mechanisms as much as we can to try and protect ourselves from being hurt again. This doesn’t mean distancing yourself from relationships forever, but being cautious after experiencing loss of trust. Here are some signs that might indicate your mate is interested in someone else or looking for love elsewhere. If you see any of these, beware. Importantly, broach the conversation directly so that you can always have the upper hand.

This is particularly obvious if you’re living together, but if you notice your soul mate suddenly developing erratic, baffling movements, there needs to be an explanation. You have a right to be concerned, especially if they’re taking too long to come back from somewhere. For instance, it takes them hours to do the shopping. Don’t ignore your instincts. Cheating partners often try to hide their affairs by trying to throw you off the scent in any way they can.

Have you ever been in a situation where you’re talking to someone and you feel like there’s somewhere else they’d rather be? If you’re constantly having that feeling with your soul mate, chances are you aren’t wrong. First of all, an attitude of “hurry up and get this over with” isn’t normal in a relationship. What is more, it may be a signal that your mate is getting tired of you and looking for romance elsewhere.

What's so interesting behind us?

When people are feeling guilty about something, their feelings are obvious in their eyes. If they’re lying about something, they avoid eye contact with you at all costs. Hiding that guilt can be very off-putting, especially if you’re used to staring into each other’s eyes lovingly. Some people go all the way to wearing sunglasses when they don’t want you to see them – because it’s the best way for them to avoid eye contact with you.

Your mate will always be trying to make it out as if you’re in the wrong or you’re treating them badly. They’ll blame you for the smallest things, and make you feel as if there’s nothing you can do right. It’s their way of projecting their own guilt of having an interest in someone else. The more they pick fights with you, the more suspicious you should be.

This one is very difficult to gauge, as sex drive naturally fluctuates in a relationship. But if your soul mate suddenly seems completely disinterested in having sex with you, that should ring some alarm bells. Always make sure there isn’t some other issue – as a medical problem – but if they insist everything’s fine and still act bored or fail to be passionate when you have sex, that’s a sure sign something’s off with your relationship.

Having a significant other is very much like having a partner in crime … in a good way. You should be able to share everything and anything and talk to each other freely, without worry. If you feel like your partner isn’t sharing with you anymore, or that they’re closed off and refuse to engage in anything but small talk with you, that’s a problem. If you’ve stopped being your soul mate’s confidante, that means someone else has taken that position – and you might not know it.

This doesn’t only mean that your mate is looking for love somewhere else, but that they’re trying to shun you away from their social circle (possibly to introduce someone else in). If you find that you’re no longer invited to company functions, family get-togethers or parties, your partner might have started taking steps towards your separation, or worse, they don’t want you to see the new object of interest.

When someone grows overly preoccupied with their appearance, that should ring some alarm bells. Many people cheat because they feel their self-confidence suffering in their relationships. If your soul mate starts taking longer than usual to get ready for mundane trips out, buying new clothes, or making an extra effort to look smart, it’s possible they’re doing it for someone other than you.

If the trust’s gone, then the relationship is gone as well. You’ll notice your soul mate getting increasingly neurotic about their phone, about the possibility of you glancing at their messages or their social media. That means that they’ve already developed an interest in someone else and they know it’s wrong, so they’re trying to hide it from you.

Why do I have to beg you to be affectionate?

This one is difficult to gauge because you’re not as physical with your mate all the time. However, if you do see them being too handsy with someone else, that’s probably not just your eyes playing a trick on you. Many people try to stay positive and tell themselves it’s just part of their partner’s character – but you might need to take it as a warning sign.

Soul mates work towards fixing their relationship with each other. If they complained about something ages ago and now they’re not mentioning it anymore, it could mean they’ve given up on it, on you, and on your relationship. Monitor their reactions to their usual pet peeves to gain the best insight.

“When you’re in love, you think you’ve found your soul mate, you think life is going one way, and suddenly it’s completely apparent it’s not. You have to rethink your whole purpose.” – Scott Weiland

FINAL THOUGHTS

No matter how much you try to think positively, you can’t ignore the signs that your mate has fallen for someone else. Keep an eye out and know when to detach from them to save yourself more heartbreak.

I want to know!

Men have a need for a Cave! to retreat for a better position

When women say "I don't care" be aware that her caring or not...... is not how men interpret it.

Do what you want, I don't care!

Women give support at difficult times! If they "Care".
Any relationship has difficult times. They may occur for a variety of reasons, like loss of a job, death, illness, or just not enough rest, because you ( the male) have been working very hard. At these difficult times, the most important thing is to try to communicate with a loving, validating, and approving attitude. In addition, we need to accept and understand that we and our partners will not always be perfect. By learning successfully to communicate in response to the smaller upsets in a relationship it becomes easier to deal with the bigger challenges when they suddenly appear.
In each of the following examples, I have placed the woman in the role of being upset with the man for something he did or didn't do. Certainly, men can also be upset with women, and any of my suggestions listed apply equally to both sexes. If you are in a relationship, ask your partner how he or she would respond to the suggestions listed as a useful exercise.
here we go:

When He forgets Something:

• Her rhetorical question: "How could you forget?" or "When will you ever remember?" or "How am I supposed to trust you?"
• The message he hears: "There is no good reason for forgetting. You are stupid and can't be trusted. I give so much more to this relationship."
• what he explains: I was really busy and just forgot. These things just happen sometimes" or "It's not such a big deal. It doesn't mean I don't care.

When the man returns from his Cave:

• Her rhetorical question: "How could you be so unfeeling and cold?" or "How do you expect me to react?" or How am supposed to know what's  going on inside you?"
• The message he hears: "There is no good reason for pulling away from me. You are cruel and unloving. You are the wrong man for me. You have hurt me so much more than I have ever hurt you."
• What he explains: " I need some time alone, it was only for one day. What is the big deal?" or "I didn't do anything to you.  Why does it upset you so much?"

When he disappoints her:

• Her rhetorical question: " How could you do this?" or "why can't you do what you say you are going to do?" or "Didn't you say you would do it?" worse of all " When will you ever learn?"
• The message he hears: "There is no good reason for disappointing me. You are an idiot. You can't do anything right. I can't be happy until you change!"
• What he explains: When she is totally disappointed with him, he explains. "Hey, next time I'll get it right" or "It's not such a big deal" or "But I didn't know what you meant!"

Final thought

When a man retreats into his man cave for better positioning. he is recalibrating his future with the woman he chooses to love.  Thoughts like "If she is upset it's her fault. She should be more flexible. and not so emotionally uptight. He can't say these things to her but he needs time by himself to think them without having to apologize. 

Male Validations!

A woman has a hard time letting a man love her due to the same circumstances.

Women often think they are being validated by men, all of the time. But seldom do they think how men feel when they are validating men, and disapproving of men.
When a man makes a mistake or forgets to do an errand or fulfill some responsibility, a woman doesn't realize how sensitive he feels, when she snaps at him. This is a when he needs her love the most, but gets dissed. To withdraw her approval at this point causes him extreme internal pain, he goes into his cave, but can NOT stay there in "peace." She may not even realize she is doing it. She may think she is just feeling disappointed, but he feels her disappointment and feel it's her disapproval. One of the ways women unknowingly communicate disapproval is in their eyes and tone of voice, they ignore you, even shuts you out. We men have to try and understand the differences between how she feels and how we should feel in those cases. The words she chooses may be less loving, and her look and the tone of her voice can wound a man, like a bullet, to the vital artery. His defensive reaction is to make her feel wrong, in her action. He invalidates her and justifies himself. Not a  Coalition builder moment.

So when does a man not clap back, when feeling wounded?
Men are most prone to argue when we make a mistake or upset the woman we love. If a man disappoints a woman, he wants to explain to her why she should not be so upset. He thinks his reason will help her to feel better. What he doesn't know is that if she is upset. what she needs most is to be heard and validated. once again we misinterpreted each other's intention or communication of emotions. Wise men old enough to have some experience in these areas can assist you to understand, this communication mishap, fellahs. Your boyz can not because they are clueless!

She likes me, she likes me not with a beard!

Maybe "yes" maybe "no"
 but I know what turns me off is excessive facial hair.
Men who have it are just being lazy about grooming.
That is my Independent point of view!

I don't have facial hair, because I don't like it,
You like your beard on you,
but I do not like it on me!

The beard sniff test. Can you pass it? 

If she turns her head slightly to avoid sniffing your beard or feeling the stubble against her face.

 What do you do? 

 SHAVE IT OFF!, don't be stubborn by keeping stubble on your face....if you want her in your life.

Try to understand Independent women issues if you want one in your life. Women who don't like hair on their face or body. Go to the trouble to remove it. So they expect you to, at the very least, shave your faces
To prove my point I cut and past the following:

Female also grow facial hair: if so many women have it, why are they so deeply ashamed?

Female facial hair a series of contradictions – common yet considered abnormal – and the pressure to remove it represents the most basic rules of the patriarchy

On average, women with facial hair spend 104 minutes per week managing it, according to a 2006 study.

Women have been keeping a secret. It’s a secret so shameful that it’s hidden from friends and lovers, so dark that vast amounts of time and money are spent hiding it. It’s not a crime they have committed, it’s a curse: facial hair.

The disturbing truth about how we treat our pubic hair

What can be dismissed as trivial is a source of deep anxiety for many women, but that’s what female facial hair is; a series of contradictions. It’s something that’s common yet considered abnormal, natural for one gender and freakish for another. The reality isn’t quite so clearcut. Merran Toerien, who wrote her Ph.D. on the removal of female body hair, explained: “biologically the boundary lines on body hair between masculinity and femininity are much more blurred than we make them seem”.

The removal of facial hair is just as paradoxical – the pressure to do it is recognized by many women as a stupid social norm and yet they strictly follow it. Because these little whiskers represent the most basic rules of the patriarchy – to ignore them is to jeopardize your reputation, even your dignity.

About one in 14 women have hirsutism, a condition where “excessive” hair appears in a male pattern on women’s bodies. But plenty more women who don’t come close to that benchmark of “excessive” still feel deeply uncomfortable about their body hair. If you’re unsure whether your hair growth qualifies as “excessive” for a woman, there’s a measurement tool that some men have developed for you.

In 1961, an endocrinologist named Dr. David Ferriman and a graduate student published a study on the “clinical assessment of body hair growth in women”. More specifically, they were interested in terminal hairs (ones that are coarser, darker and at least 0.5cm/0.2 inches in length) rather than the fine vellus hairs. The men looked at 11 body areas on women, rating the hair from zero (no hairs) to four (extensive hairs). The Ferriman-Gallwey scale was born.

It has since been simplified, scoring just nine body areas (upper lip, chin, chest, upper stomach, lower stomach, upper arms, upper legs, upper back, and lower back). The total score is then added up – less than eight is considered normal, a score of eight to 15 indicates mild hirsutism and a score greater than 15 moderate or severe hirsutism.

Most women who live with facial hair don’t refer to the Ferriman-Gallwey scale before deciding they have a problem. Since starting to research hirsutism, I’ve received over a hundred emails from women describing their experiences discovering and living with, facial hair. Their stories loudly echo one another

Because terminal hairs start to appear on girls around the age of eight, the experiences start young. Alicia, 38, in Indiana, wrote, “kids in my class would be like, ‘Haha look at this gorilla!’”, Lara was nicknamed “monkey” by her classmates while Mina in San Diego was called “Sasquatch”. For some girls, this bullying (more often by boys) was their first realization that they had facial hair and that the facial hair was somehow “wrong”. Next, came efforts to “fix” themselves.

Génesis, a 24-year-old woman described her first memories of hair removal. “In fourth grade, a boy called me a werewolf when he saw my arm hairs and upper lip hairs … I cried to my mom about it … she bleached my lower legs, my arms, my back, my upper lip and part of my cheeks to diminish my growing sideburns. I remember it itched and burned.”

After those first attempts come many, many more – each with their own investment in time, money and physical pain. The removal doesn’t just make unwanted hair go away, it raises a whole new set of problems, particularly for women of color. Non-white skin is more likely to scar as a result of trying to remove hair.

Instead of reading or finishing homework on the car drives to school growing up, I would spend the entire length of the drive obsessively plucking and threading my mustache. Every day. – Rona K Akbari, 21, Brooklyn

On average, women with facial hair spend 104 minutes a week managing it, according to a 2006 British study. Two-thirds of the women in the study said they continually check their facial hair in mirrors and three-quarters said they continually check by touching it.

The study found facial hair takes an emotional toll. Forty percent said they felt uncomfortable in social situations, 75% reported clinical levels of anxiety. Overall, they said that they had a good quality of life, but tended to give low scores when it came to their social lives and relationships. All of this pain despite the fact that, for the most part, women’s facial hair is entirely normal.

If I know I have visible facial hair, I’m much more reserved in social situations. I try to cover it up by placing my hand on my chin or over my mouth. And I’m thinking about it constantly. – Ashley D’Arcy, 26

Meanwhile, my 95-year-old demented, deaf and blind Italian aunt sits in a nursing home, and whenever I visit, she points to and rubs her chin, which is her way of communicating to take care of the hair situation. That’s how I know she’s still in there and she cares. I hope someone returns the favor in 40 years. – Julia, 54

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There are, however, some medical conditions which can cause moderate or severe hirsutism, the most likely of which is polycystic ovary syndrome, or PCOS, which accounts for 72-82% of all cases. PCOS is a hormonal disorder affecting between eight and 20% of women worldwide. There are other causes too, such as idiopathic hyperandrogenemia, a condition where women have excessive levels of male hormones like testosterone, which explains another 6-15% of cases.

But many women who don’t have hirsutism, who don’t have any medical condition whatsoever, consider their hairs “excessive” all the same. And that’s much more likely if you’re a woman of color.

Never mind me,
 (but do pay attention to my body language)
I'm not totally turned on by you
it's all because of your facial hair. 

The original Ferriman-Gallwey study, like so much western medical research at the time, produced findings that might not apply to women of color (the averages were based on evaluations of 60 white women). More recent research has suggested that was a big flaw because race does make a big difference to the chances that a woman will have facial hair.

In 2014, researchers looked at high-resolution photos of 2,895 women’s faces. They found that, on average, the white women had less hair than any other race and Asian women had the most. But ethnicity mattered too – for example, the white Italian women in the study had more hair than the white British women.

Final thoughts:
Most women like to keep their bodies completely hairless if they can make it happen. While sporting a healthy and thick mane on her head and a pair of wild or tamed eyebrows – it’s all in the taste.

Beards may look incredibly sexy on men, to some women but when it comes to her own a beard can be one of the many embarrassing and vexing problems a woman can face. But some women resent being reminded that they have to shave for personal hygiene and men only have to shave their face and are refusing to do it. So tread lightly she might be turned off by it. She may not say it but in time she resent you for not realizing that she does not like your facial hair. "Lazy" is never attractive in a woman's view. 

The Naked Affair, the Adam and Eve reality!

For those of you who believe that Adam and Eve had the ultimate love affair.
The fact is Adam was tempted which cost him the ultimate loss of his place to live (the garden of Eden.) Eve was not his tempter nor was Adam her tempter. Something different was.... maybe the male/female Devil... which can be explained that women can be tempted by bad boys,  and men are tempted by bad girls.
Having pointed all that out the question is why is it that after they sinned they realized they were naked. but they had been naked all along. They did "do the do" while naked... before they realized they were naked.... now that they have to vacate the garden of  Eden they were ashamed of their bodies and covered up their now private areas. Women and men are still in this mindset, when,  we men see a naked woman we get excited, lusting after her like we have never seen a naked woman before. Women don't usually lust after a naked man unless she was horny as hell, to begin with.  So why am I rambling on about this? It happened about more than 6,000 years ago or longer. Simply put, much of what was written does not make a lot of sense to me.
Not that I don't believe that our species need the two genders to come together to keep multiplying.
So let's look at the difference in male and female feeling.
For example, when a man is late, a woman may feel "I didn't like waiting for you when you are late" or "I was worried if something happened to you"  but in her mind she is thinking; while you were out there hunting. For Heaven knows what. or maybe talking to a sexy sales lady trying to sell you a sexy new sports car. 

Question: If you think I'm sexy buy this car!

So when he arrives, instead of directly sharing her feelings she asks a rhetorical question like "How could you be so late?" or "What am I supposed to think when you are so late?" or  worse yet "why didn't you call?" If her man wants to make her feel bad, he might make a joke saying "Adam didn't have a cell phone to call in his day, and my battery is dead." Certainly asking someone "why didn't you call?" is OK if you are sincerely looking for a valid reason. But when a woman is upset the tone of her voice often reveals that she is not looking for a valid answer but is making the point that there is no acceptable reason for being late. When a man hears a question like "how could you be so late?" he does not hear her feelings but instead hears her disapproval. He feels her intrusive desire to help him be more responsible. He feels attacked and becomes defensive. She has no idea how painful her disapproval is to him. Actually just as women need validation, men need approval. The more a man loves a woman the more he needs her approval. It is was always there from the beginning of the relationship. Either she gives him the message that she approves of him or he feels confident that he can win her approval, in time. In either case, the approval is present.
So now I understand what Happened to Adam when Eve was tempted.  He thought to himself she is not satisfied with paradise. This is why she is breaking the rules to force me to work hard for the rest of my life to make her happy and gain her approval like in the beginning.
Even if a woman has been wounded by other men or her father she will still give approval at the beginning of the relationship. She may feel "He is a special man, not like others she has known."
But when a woman withdraws that approval it's particularly painful to a  man. Women are generally oblivious of how they pull away their approval. And when they do pull it away, they feel very justified in doing so. A reason for this insensitivity is that women really are unaware of how significant approval is for men.
Here is a simple solution to this age-old problem: A woman can learn to disagree with a man's behavior and still approve of who he is. For a man to feel loved he needs her to approve of who he is, even if she disagrees with his behavior.

Generally, when a woman disagrees with a man's behavior and she wants to change him, she will disapprove of him. Certainly, there may be times when she is more approving and less approving of him, but to be disapproving is very painful and hurts him.  Most men are too ashamed to admit how much they need approval. We may go to great lengths to prove that we don't care. But why do we immediately become cold, distant, and defensive when we lose a woman's approval? BECAUSE women are not giving what we need... hurts us, when we don't get it. The main reasons relationships are so successful in the beginning is that a man is still in a woman's good graces. We are still her knight in shining armor. He receives the blessings of her approval and, as a result, rides high in the saddle. But as soon as he begins to disappoint her, he falls from grace. He loses her approval. All of a sudden he is cast out into the doghouse. A man can deal with a woman's disappointment, but when it is expressed with disapproval or ejection he feels wounded. Women commonly interrogate a man about his behavior with a disapproving tone. Women do this because they think it will teach men a lesson. It does not!

It only creates fear and resentment. And gradually he becomes less and less motivated 

To approve of a man is to see the good reasons behind what he does. Even when a man is irresponsible or lazy or disrespectful, if she loves him, a woman can find and recognize the goodness within him. To approve is to find the loving intention or the goodness behind the outside behavior. 

OK back to Adam: When Eve treated her man as if he has not done good things and withhold the approval she so freely gave at the beginning of the relationship. I don't think she realized that she could still give him approval, and not force him to take a bite from the forbidden Apple.  

Love, Is Not Always and Forever!

OK, I wrote that caption with Tongue in cheek! 

Tomorrow is always the day we all say we will start making a change for the better in our lives. But what about today? What about improving our life now?

In order to let the opportunities unfold and create a better life, we need to pay a little attention to these lessons.

There's no pleasing others.  No matter how much you try, you'll never be able to please everybody. 

and if you really think about it, the only thing that matters is that at the end of the day you can only be proud of yourself. Going to bed with a clean conscience is more fulfilling than wasting your time by trying to please others. Let your good deeds speak for you. It's enough!

Express your gratitude for everything you have. Being grateful for what you have is the building block on which you can create a bigger, more meaningful life for yourself. By acknowledging all you have you remember the struggles you've been through and gain more confidence for the future.

Learn how to be kind to yourself. It's great to strive for perfection, but it's even more important to know that being perfect is impossible. Whenever you make a mistake, instead of putting yourself down, try to remember that you are only human. The important thing is that you have tried. Learn from your experience and move on. 

So Go for that amazing dream you've always wanted to accomplish. Fear can make us prisoners of our own minds. We hope that by playing it safe we won't fail. But killing your dreams before giving them a try is the biggest failure there is. Commit yourself to make them real or you'll regret it for the rest of your life.

Be the change you want to see in the World.

 Yeah, the world is awful at times. But there are still people struggling to make it a better place. Join them and improve it as much as you can. You don't necessarily have to start a revolution in the morning (which would be great) It's enough to help somebody in need, to say a kind word to a sad person or to inspire a young person to believe in himself. No matter how small, the crucial thing is to inject some good in the World.

Final thoughts

I may have said a whole lot about life in general in my point so what does that have to do with "love not always being forever"? simple.... love starts at home when you don't love yourself you cannot love someone else. nor can you be grateful for their love for you! People often see the slogan "Love thine self"  as selfish. OK, it is about self first. then and only then can you share the love, you have, with others. Think of love as a pizza, you can only share it if you have it to share. Want a slice just let me know!

  

Are you Dancing on the Edge of the Roof in your Relationships?

                                                       Is this even safe? Probably not!

Sometimes I feel like his whore! 

But that is the role of the side-chick, right?

FYI, Ladies!
Men rarely say "I'm sorry "because on Mars it means you have done something wrong and you need to apologize. Women, however, say "I'm sorry" as a way to say " I care about what you are feeling." It doesn't mean they are apologizing for doing something wrong. The men who understand this who rarely say "I'm sorry" can do wonders by learning to use this aspect of the Venusian language, effectively. The easiest way to derail a disagreement is to say "I'm sorry" quickly.. before it escalates into an argument. Most arguments escalate when a man begins to invalidate a woman's feelings and she responds to him disapprovingly. Being a man, I've had to learn to practice validating women's feeling all the time, not some of the times. My now ex(s) practiced expressing their feelings more directly without disapproving of me. the result was fewer fights and more love. Without having new awareness we probably...... would have the same arguments over and over.
I had become the master of avoiding unnecessary arguments.
So maybe a guy can go from being " the World's Worst Boyfriend" to becoming the "World's best husband......to someone else."

As men, one of our duties is to be gentlemanly to everyone we encounter. There is perhaps no person that this pertains to more – and to a higher degree – than your partner. Women expect to be courted by, and potentially married to, a man of high character. Most people would agree that good men encompass certain behavioral traits throughout the duration of a relationship.  This leads to the next question: what character traits make up a “good man”? Well, there are indeed many of them. I’ve managed to narrow the “signs” of a good man down to 11.

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER, HERE ARE SOME SIGNS THAT YOU’RE WITH A GOOD MAN WHO MAY HAVE BEEN A BAD MAN WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

• As his partner/lover, a good man won’t forget about making you feel especially beautiful. A good man is not content with just saying the words but is successful in manifesting feelings of beauty within a woman's heart. This includes the way he interacts with her physically and mentally.

In sharp contrast. the man that does not make a woman feel Amazing, or Beautiful. should be classified as self-serving and self-observed...and will never ever treat a woman right.

• A good man will always possess a strong and unshakable character. As such, by default, the man is inspirational in his words and deeds. He never ceases to evoke feelings of inspiration. A good man will inspire a woman to be the best version of herself.

In sharp contrast. a Thug has no redeeming good qualities, he might call himself a character but it is a cartoon character you should get away and stay away from. He is the Tasmanian Devil.

• A good man understands the importance of remaining supportive and accommodating to a woman’s needs. This doesn’t entail being a “Yes Man,” but being a man that can offer support and accommodation when the situation calls for such.

In sharp contrast. the guy who never ever supports his lover.... is a never going to change his ways. So don't expect it.

• A good man never really gives himself too much credit. Though he may be intelligent, a good man seeks to always self-improvement; whether this is through learning something new, taking on added responsibilities, or getting into better shape, a good man prides himself on becoming better.

In sharp contrast. a narcissist talks about himself none stop they feel they are the greatest gift to women.

• Feeling safe and secure is a vital component for any woman in her relationship. It is the man’s duty to ensure that such feelings are present. In the event of something unfortunate, a good man will always stand up for and defend his woman.

In sharp contrast. There are guys who start out making a woman feel afraid from day one or shortly thereafter.

• Holding the door open, pulling out the chair, feeding the kids, etc. are all trademark actions of a good man doing the little things. He is never too busy to stop what he’s doing and offer a small gesture of assistance.

In sharp contrast. the guy who sees no need to be gentleman will not suddenly act like one... if he does it then he is faking it.

• A good man will not lie, cheat, or steal, especially to the person he loves the most in the world. A good man should not feel any hesitation in telling it like it is, whether what he has to say be good or bad.

In sharp contrast. when women know what they are worth. They will see guys, who are cheaters, and lie within a short period of time of the start of the new relationship.

• A good man will never be physical, mentally, or emotionally abusive to his partner. Ever. Also, a good man will not instigate an abusive episode with anyone else under any circumstance. Instead, a good man will use the strength of his character and intellect to resolve conflicts.

In sharp contrast: There are so many men who don't respect women, just look at the news these days, Senators, President, judges and so many other Corporate CEO types.

• When a good man expresses his love, this love remains through thick and thin. Under no circumstance will a good man neglect you, even in the more challenging situations. A good man will not abandon his duty to stand by you.

In sharp contrast. Some will say "I love you" but many will say it just to get women to comply with their wishes.

• A good man understands that trust, like love, cannot be forced; it must be earned. After earning the woman’s sacred trust, a good man will take such a blessing for granted. Furthermore, a good man never leaves his trust in-doubt.

In sharp contrast. Maybe they can..... fake it..... you will be deceived for a short while. Women who have had fake people in their lives should be able to identify, and they should wake up in time.

• This doesn’t mean that he keels over and appeases to a woman’s every whim. It does mean, in most cases, that a good man will be selfless in his words and deeds. It is a man’s responsibility to put his woman first – a good man does this much more often than not.

In sharp contrast. the guys who are selfish will never even give any women control of their own lives.... let alone their lives, and will always demand that they comes first.

Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one! – Marcus Aurelius

If you don't have it good "You have it BAD"

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