When you are in a relationship you can't just do You!

Are you serious, you are going to read that mess in front of me!

Gender differences show up the most after getting involved in an intimate relationship.
By remembering that we men are from Mars, and the women are from Venus at times of frustration, worry, or disappointment, instead of thinking something is wrong with your partner or your relationship, you may discover that you are MISINTERPRETING the situation. With a more accurate interpretation, you can then adjust your actions and responses so that you begin to get more of what your both want. When we correctly interpret a situation it is never as bad as we initially thought.

Let me just say this; I'm a Professional Computer Programmer, an Analyst and designer of Application Systems. I've been solving business problems for companies for many many years. So why did I fail miserably in my Marriage?  Hmmm! Failing is part of growing. but failing in a relationship can spell the doom of your relationship. As a programmer, I wrote code, always being careful to prevent what we call in the industry as an "infinite loop"  this is when the instructions are coded do not account for a situation that will occur o on rare occasions, that the computer would not know what to do with. Cause a system crash after hitting instruction exceptions that go nowhere, and keeps looping back to the beginning and not resolving the issue.  We should always have a default routine.  A system crash in relationships is catastrophic. Oops! we all know how that ends.... you might be a perfect couple to everyone who knows you and your partner... but you are both wondering "Why did I get married Too?"
Falling in love is easy. Staying in love is whole other story.  

To avoid relationship crashes; start by understanding what to do when stuff happens.

you don't even have the guts to argue with me in person!

1. Avoid Arguments that become hurtful. 
One of the most difficult challenges in our loving relationships is handling differences of opinions and disagreements. Often when suddenly they stop talking in a loving couple disagree their discussions can turn into arguments and then without much warning into battles. Suddenly they stop talking in a loving manner and automatically begin hurting each other: blaming, complaining, accusing, demanding, resenting, and doubting.
What happens when we argue. Without understanding how men and women are different it is very easy to get into arguments that hurt not only our partner but also ourselves. The secret to avoiding arguments is loving and respectful communication. the differences and disagreements don't hurt as much as the ways in which we communicate them. Ideally an argument does not have to be hurtful: instead, it can simply be an engaging conversation that expresses our differences at that time.

Prepare for love  Brace for war!

2. Resolving conflict through understanding.
We all need to know and understand the reasons why.
   a) the secret reasons Men argue with women.

• Men do not like it when his woman blames them for their unhappiness. They stop feeling encouraged to the knight in shining armor.
• Men argue because they need to feel encouraged. Instead, they begin to feel like giving up. 
• Men hate it when women complain about how much women do or how unappreciated women feel. This makes men feel unappreciated for the things they do for their women.
• Men don't like it when women worry about everything that could go wrong.  Men don't feel trusted when that happens.

b) the secret reasons women argue with men. 

• Women don't like it when men minimize the importance of their feeling or request. Women feel dismissed and unimportant.
• Women don't like it when men forget to do the things they ask for, and then tell them they are nagging. women start feeling like they are begging for men's support.
• Women need to feel respected and remembered. Instead of neglected and at bottom of men's list of priorities.
• Women do not like it when men blame women for being upset. They feel like they have to be perfect to be loved. Women know they are not perfect!
• Women hate it when men raise their voices or start making the list of why they are right. It makes women feel like they are wrong and men do not care about their point of view

Final thoughts
the above was compiled while watching a DVD Tyler Perry movie titled.

"Why did I get married too?