Are Men Really Attracted to Smart Women?

Is this How female intelligence impacts attraction.

How do smart women fare relationally in the real world? The difference can depend on many other things, and other personality traits, such as kindness, humility, and even a sense of humor. But at the beginning of a relationship, when prospective partners are just becoming acquainted, is intelligence alluring or off-putting? Or does it depend on how it is displayed? Thankfully, research has some answers.

Attraction and Psychological Distance

Lora E. Park et al. (2015) investigated the impact of psychological distance and intelligence on men’s attraction to women.[i] They note that interpersonal attraction can be cultivated through a measure of psychological distance, defined as “the subjective experience that a target is close to or far from the self,” as well as through perceived trait comparison between oneself and the other person.

They found that with targets who were psychologically distant, men were more attracted to women who displayed more intelligence than they had. By comparison, with targets who were psychologically near, men were less attracted to women who were smarter than they were.

Through their research, Park et al. provide a unique way to understanding how the process of social comparison interacts with psychological distance to influence interpersonal attraction. Recognizing that many people describe an ideal partner as having more favorable qualities than they do, they are not surprised that men would be attracted to psychologically distant targets who are smarter than they are.

In contrast, however, when evaluating women who are psychologically closer, they note that men may be more likely to rely on factors such as how masculine they are feeling in the moment when evaluating attraction. They note that men may be less attracted to women who outperform them in psychologically near conditions may stem from feeling less masculine.

To illustrate psychological distance in practice. Let  me give an example of a man agreeing to go on a blind date with a woman who is described as athletic and fun. That trait combination sounds great beforehand, but not so much once the pair ends up at a sports complex where the woman totally dominates him athletically both on the miniature golf course and in the batting cage. Thus, despite the attractive-sounding description beforehand, the first date becomes the last.

Hello I'm you blind date !

Attraction Through Authentic Admiration

So are intelligent women destined to turn off potential suitors who are not an intellectual match? Thankfully, no. In reality, and certainly over time, attraction is about much more than intelligence. Men and women often possess complementary traits that facilitate collaboration instead of competition. And speaking of using intelligence wisely, many people, both men and women, are smart enough to know how to bestow authentic admiration for the things a partner does well, creating a feeling of inspiration rather than intimidation.

There are both evolutionary and social motives behind a woman wanting an older man. Irrespective of the motive, both parties will have to overcome much stigma and many stereotypes to be together.

Many people will stop and gawk when they see an older man holding hands or kissing a younger woman in public. It has to do with cultural norms and what society expects. People passing have no clue about this couple, yet they are ready to make snap judgments on what they see.

Many studies have been conducted on these types of relationships, and science has come up with a few answers.