WE ALL HAVE HEALTHY EXPECTATIONS IN A RELATIONSHIP

 

YOU JUST NEED TO FORGET THAT BAD EXPERIENCE

LEARN WHAT TO EXPECT IN A RELATIONSHIP – AND WHAT TO FORGET

IT'S JUST Pointless arguing in a relationship ABOUT THINGS THAT SHOULD NOT MATTER: Many people do it but most of us don’t understand it and are perplexed by it. Everyone knows a couple who constantly bickers or has conflict – maybe that’s even you and your partner. Maybe you argue so frequently that it’s become the norm. Is this really what to expect in a relationship that’s supposed to bring you joy and companionship? 

What if you could solve arguing in your relationship almost immediately? It’s possible. Expectations in a relationship form the basis of whether or not the partnership works for both people. By shifting your mindset, your relationship can become happier, more peaceful and more productive.

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN STANDARDS AND EXPECTATIONS IN RELATIONSHIPS?

Standards are guidelines about what you will accept in the present moment. They represent what you want in a partner: sense of humor, similar values and beliefs, attitude and perspective on life.  Expectations are what we want to happen in the future – certain actions we wish someone would take or an event we wish would happen. When what we expect to happen doesn’t, we feel disappointed, sad and even angry.  

Standards are behind the power of proximity or the principle that we are who we surround ourselves with. That’s because we’ll automatically hold ourselves and others to higher standards if those around us do. We’ll dream bigger, work harder and believe in ourselves more deeply.

There’s nothing wrong with raising your standards – in fact, learning how to accept nothing less than the best is key to building the life of your dreams. And if someone doesn’t meet your standards, you’re absolutely allowed to move on. However, your partner can meet all of your standards and still fall short of meeting your expectations in a relationship. It’s these expectations that get relationships in trouble.

WHY EXPECTATIONS IN A RELATIONSHIP CAN CAUSE PROBLEMS

We first have to start with the “why.” Why does bickering happen in the first place? The short answer is expectations. What we presume a relationship will look like shapes our contribution to the partnership. Expectations in a relationship are subjective, biased and can differ from person to person. Some may expect their spouse to take out the garbage and they, in turn, may expect you to have breakfast on the table every morning. But if both people assume the other person knows this automatically without ever having a conversation about it, it can lead to tension in the relationship.

The problem with expectations in a relationship is that they’re just like an opinion: Everyone has one – and they don’t always match up to the other person’s thoughts. This is the birthplace of bickering, and it’s where knowing what to expect in a relationship comes into play. When you’re both on the same page about what a healthy relationship looks like, you’re ready to take action and create reasonable expectations in a relationship. When you’re able to articulate your respective needs, you’re in a place to make those expectations work.