Entanglements are more common than ever before

 

Why so many ‘entanglements’ in marriages, women are not totally innocent in everything that happens to them.

Every time I do a post complaining about legit bad female behavior, an army of women, armed with enough English vocabulary (toxic masculinity, patriarchy, invisible female labor blah blah), and some overblown negative experiences their mothers went through, usually camp in the comment section with only one defense; that every bad thing women do is because of something bad men did to them (women).
You get the picture that women are angels and very innocent in everything bad that happens to them, and men are so evil, to drive women to do some nasty things that define the modern woman.

And, boy, this usually drives men crazy.
Granted, women have been served bad cards and certainly, some of your mothers did get the short end of the stick in many things. But usually I see women I know, who come from fairly decent families, whose fathers toiled every day to afford them a decent education, argue here as if their fathers were some monsters.

Sadly, I have seen some young boys, join women in accusing men of being monsters and I usually want to offer them a rude digital slap.
Because, you can’t be a man over 16, and not understand that human female specie is one of the coldest, most ruthless, most calculating species anywhere in the universe.

Everyday, I see women doing nasty stuff out of their own agency but soon enough, a man will be blamed. And this drives men nuts. Totally bonkers.

Now we have young men, doing everything to right the wrongs of their fathers (most of them actually imagined) and thinking that they will be better than their fathers in handling the female gender but they fail terribly, sooner rather than later and it isn't funny.) And soon, they learn that their fathers may not have been as bad as their mothers painted. And for the slowest amongst us, this does not negate or erase the bad things some fathers did or still do.

Presently, the most well behaved men I know are being divorced in alarming numbers for some of the slightest misdemeanors. And it is a crying shame, because the men are usually manipulated to think they were wrong behavers they don’t know that some women are the original Jekyll and Hyde(can be externally good, but sometimes shockingly evil)

Every day, I see men my generation trying to appease women and sometimes I want to tell them that filling Indian Ocean with their tears would be easier. Because women are very good at shifting/MOVING THE GOAL POST you have to be unreasonable as a man. It helps protect your sanity. Some of the most unhappiest men I know are young married men trying to make their wives happy. This often backfires because happiness is a personal responsibility. And happiness is not material stuff that men buy to please women. 

Women are not always innocent parties. And this is something I wish all men understood. Women are responsible for some bad things that happen to them. We need to normalize this.

Whereas scientifically, I can’t explain how the bewitching worked, but looking back the women who got the cold treatment from their men often deserved and even by societal standards, they were considered evil. Whereas nobody touched them, nobody dispossessed or kicked them out of their homes, most men were asked to look for a woman who will not try to kill them. Second wives aren’t necessarily a good thing because never try to marry a second wife when you are vulnerable, but she may bring some sense of balance to a man’s life. Most men may never have slept in the house of the first wife for good reason.

For men out there. Do the right things. Be a good a man by all means. But you can’t be all things for a woman, as the more you give the more they want and boy, those who have been through that rabbit hole, have emerged later in their 40s-50s with nothing but a lot of bruises, bitterness and resentment.

The modern woman is not something to play with. Anytime you want to please her, light a fire and jump in, you will be bruised less.
And for men, be kind to yourself. And be kind to fellow men, including your father. Take a stock of the individual relationship your father had with your mother. If keen you will be shocked at how cruel and toxic your mother was and why your father did some pretty stupid things.
Lastly, again for men, a female friend told me that the modern man depends on the woman too much. Which is true. 

In short, I am not starting a gender war or calling for men to be nasty little and petty people. I just want men to know that sometimes the reason their wives cheat is not because the man failed in bed, it could be she is legit loose. And there is nothing you can do about it. The reason their wives put so much pressure on them is not because they want better from the man, necessarily. It could be she is too materialistic and you will never match what she wants, don’t break your back trying, son.

In the end, may common sense prevail, and if you sense toxic behavior in someone (male or female), walk away, no matter how much time you have had together. Lest you end up like Will Smith (assuming they are not acting).

Don’t be needy Why(a woman will cannibalize you if you are too needy,) focus on yourself and build yourself. Pole by pole. This world can drive you crazy, fellahs..