10/19/2021

HER TEASING MAKES HER WORLD GO ROUND

I'm just teasing you!

 
Sexual teasing involves the possibility of sex, then the withdrawal of the perceived invitation.

Teasing violates a standard piece of relationship advice—communicate clearly. But people often don't, especially in dating and the interpersonal dance that precedes sex. In those situations, communication is often indirect and ambiguous, what we call it flirting or teasing.

But in flirting, implied interest in the other person is sincere and involves the real possibility of a sexual relationship. In teasing, the intent is insincere. The teaser uses personal charm (words, jokes, gestures, touch) to excite the other, exerting power over that person, but all the recipient gets is confusion, frustration, and possibly embarrassment.

I'm just a teaser


Researchers  have found that Sixty percent of both the men and women recalled being teased at least once. More women (64 percent) than men (43 percent) said they'd been conscious teasers. Men recognize that women tease more than they do, in fact, many men call it "cock teasing."

Very few respondents said they'd teased a stranger. Usually, the target was a friend or acquaintance. In fact, in 25 percent of reported teasing incidents, the teaser had previously had intercourse with the target, and half the teasers had previously been sexual with the target in some other way.

Men and women generally had similar motives for teasing, namely: I wanted to make the person want me sexually. I wanted to see how much the person wanted me.

But women were considerably more likely than men to say: I wanted to feel attractive and/or desirable. I wanted to feel in control, powerful. I didn't want to seem too "easy" by having sex right away. I was scared of being pressured into sex, so I did it to buy some time, to look for an out.

Men were considerably more likely to say: I wanted to turn myself on. I wanted to see how far I could get. I did it as a joke or on a dare or bet. I wanted to have something to tell my friends later.

Teasers ascribed generally benign motives to their teasing. They called it harmless fun, flirting with an edge. But they recognized that it was more fun for them than for their target. Recipients had less predictable reactions. In one-third of recalled incidents, the target reacted positively, joking and laughing about being teased. About one-third expressed indifference ("whatever"). About 15 percent of targets ignored the teaser. And approximately 15 percent said that being teased upset them.

The researchers also conducted quick personality inventories on study participants. Personality type had very little to do with teasing. Anyone and everyone is a potential teaser.

This study makes teasing look like a step on the continuum of getting to know others, part of the process of sizing people up as potential romantic/sexual partners. Very few people tease strangers. Teasers generally focus on friends or acquaintances. In many cases, the teaser and the target have already been sexual together. So it looks like teasing represents a way to affirm (or reaffirm) interest in another while at the same time drawing a boundary, saying no trespassing.

This study focused mainly on college students. But the same dynamics are at work in the ways many spouses test the other's interest in sex. Teasing may feel playful to the person doing it. But targets often feel differently. Think about that the next time you're tempted to tease. And the next time you're on the receiving end of teasing, recognize it for what it is, part of the game of courtship, and a game you might lose.

My conclusion:

So what really turns men On

After age 30, the male libido becomes more like women’s. 

Popular maxims attest to the pervasive belief that men are always ready and eager to bed almost any woman:

  • Men have only one thing on their minds.
  • Men lust; women want to feel desired.
  • What single word can women say to sexually arouse men? Hello.

Chances are you’ve heard one or more of these, which attests to the prevalence of assumptions about rampant male lust. But sexual urgency, the feeling that I need sex now, is age-related. Yes, lust can animate many young men—and many young women and non-binary individuals, too. But recent studies show that after age 30, men’s desire for sex becomes more nuanced, more complex—and in contrast to the stereotype, more like women’s. don't panic guys if you aren't 30 yet you still have a window. guys over 50 may be more like women. but around 30... Hell no!

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