Why do Women Leave the Men They claim to Love

Now Fellahs this is a heads-UP. I thought I was doing the right things for years but  as it turned out I was guilty of a few mess-ups on the  following list. 

Love has no judgment, no agenda, no bias, and no bigotry. Love is love without a concrete definition. It lets go of boundaries, walls, and inhibitions. It is effortless. In relationships it does require work, but it’s just a rhythmic dance of ease and grace. Unfortunately, when it isn’t an easy dance, the relationship ends disastrously. It’s in those moments that we ask, “What happened?”
Here are some reasons women leave the men they claim to love:

I'm better of alone!

1. They feel alone.
A woman needs to feel that she matters. If her man is not there to support her, there is no reason to continue a relationship. Women are nurturers. When in a relationship they believe that the man is their entire world. Men tend to detach quickly when they get comfortable. Sometimes in the loneliness of being with someone who is not emotionally present, the noise is deafening. A woman realizes that there is no room for the worthlessness that keeps coming up through the avoidance. When love and attention is not reciprocated, they realize they do not need to stay in that relationship.

Guilty admission : After we  men commit we think our commitment is enough to sustain the relationship. We  started out seeking a mate that is compatible and may  even have most of the  attribute we can admire for years and years. then we relax and stop chasing Her. because our needs are met.
We pay more attention to what we don't have at home than who we have in our lives.  This can cost us men big time!    

2. They are not being acknowledged.
There is nothing more detrimental to a woman than not being fully present when she is speaking. A woman is moved by words. She needs to feel that she is understood, accepted, respected and supported. When she is sharing with her mate, it is because she needs to feel a connection with him. Chivalry is masterful. Women love the simple acts of communication and love. Taking out the garbage, doing the laundry, or anything that acknowledges presence is exceptional in a relationship. A woman will move on, while holding her heart, when she feels that she is being taken for granted.

I  packed so many times I became  pro at it.
 I even learned to pack light  so that when I left for the last time.
It was breeze to leave.
 

Guilty admission: every time we men make positive moves we re-affirm our commitments. In my early years of marriage  I planned many new beginnings, leaving the Cold North East and the  even colder Midwest and moving to a warmer city to raise a family. Planning to build our first home. Planning to have our first child then planning to have another child. Building our second home and moving from our first home to new gated community. These were all the things that we were working on together our focus was the same, we travel an even took our sons to see the Great wall, Well what about the in between times?    We stopped talking we stopped wanting the same things... SMH this cost me my family life. and I paid the price.. I'm still feeling the sting especially during Holidays.   

3. They no longer feel sexy.

He is so not romantic

Men are sexual creatures. When they want sex they are ready. A woman needs intimacy, foreplay, and the feeling of being completely desired by her man. Routine is the kiss of death. A woman wants spontaneity. She craves to be romanced. Women live in their heads. Therefore, when a man is only being stimulated by porn or other women or just wants to have a release, a woman will be completely turned off. There is a moment in a woman’s life when she realizes that if her man doesn’t desire her, or makes her feel special (in and out of bed) then it’s time to move on.

Guilty admission: We men are always confused.. as to what sexy really mean to a woman. We focus on the attributes she  possess  and that is where we screw-up  big time. She may not see herself the way you see her. she might think her attributes are no longer what they were or that you're fantasizing about someone else... as a man it is our duty to understand what she is feeling and be very careful not to say or focus on the things that she does not want you focusing on. Studying a woman's emotions is a big challenge so tread like you are climbing Mount Everest. You have to know how to weather chills and the icy slippery terrain you will have  to navigate your safes course of actions. Never  rush or you will fall down  the hill on the hard surface below, and have to start all over again.        

4. There is a significant life change.
Midlife hits everyone differently. Most women do not require a new car or fancy clothes. They need to know that they are sexy and wanted by their men. Menopause starts to creep into the picture, and what was once easily tolerated is no longer. Life changes: Children leave to college; a parent needs full time care; or financial stress is present. Women who overcome cancer or other illnesses also find a reset button that pushes the men out of their lives. A woman needs to know that these life changes are being navigated with strength and dignity alongside her man. When there is no support, a woman will quickly disassemble her life to get rid of her man.

Guilty admission: When a man hits that magical age   of midlife (sports cars, exotic vacations are   the top things on the bucket list that comes to mind )....... but what do women want? They may have more of a problem with their man's  bucket lists, and may want them  to love her  bucket list, more than yours .... OK, this where it get's complicated. walking and have to look for RPG (s) is not a  lot of fun. you better get a bomb sniffing dog that will warn you not to step there! Or you will not make it to your next b'day!

Saving my resources just in case

5. Women don’t like someone who is predictable.
Men fall into comfortable routines. The older they get, the less they want to participate in anything that is not about them. This is also why some men go through a massive midlife crisis. But, women need serendipitous moments. They need to know that they matter. Even a small note on a coffee mug is enough to bring appreciation into a relationship. Familiarity is not something that feels good in midlife. It feels boring. To a woman, a man is not a fixture. He is a companion.

Guilty admission: Once we men confuse the words, predictable vs accountable/reliable. A woman will tell you  " I hate surprises" it is up to  you to understand what that really means!??  some surprises are acceptable while others are not ever going to workout well for you. Take you time and get to know where to tread lightly. And don't telecast your next pass. Women want you to make passes at them even if she smacks you for doing it.  Know when it's a good time to risk getting smacked. 

6. Their man is not physically there.
Women tolerate a lot, but having a man who cares more about being out and about is a definite “no-no!” In today’s world of feminism, a woman doesn’t need a man to take care of her like  her mother did. She needs a partner who will work along her side and appreciate her presence. When a man is more interested in spending time any place but next to her, she will cut him loose. It might take time, but the longer she postpones it the worst it is in the end. She knows it is over when there is nothing spiritually and intellectually available.

Guilty admission: Wow, I remember this time period in my married life like it was yesterday.... I was so busy with the  Y2K  projects era, and my sons where in different sports and school activities, my then wife was working weird hours with the  airline she worked for... we almost did not see each other. Always on the go. I was on call 24/7 as most of the contracting  IT  professionals were and the support group was in   India, I had to be  available to answer their question over the Internet and over the phone  all the time ...... the time difference was brutal. So needless to say that was the beginning of the end of my marriage...  So what I would advise anyone.... know where and how to establish your priorities.  

I'm going to use your account to buy this item OK!

Women have evolved in our society. The “need” to have a man is surpassed by a “desire” to share a life with him. When there is no love, appreciation, touch, spiritual connection, intellectual stimulation, or presence, a woman will choose to be alone. Women work just as hard as men. To tolerate a companionship that is not stimulating is no longer on the agenda. It’s a reality check that it is time to move on.

Guilty admission: Feel the changes happening embrace the changes, don't resist the changes Fellahs... it's a good thing when her game is strong. You can partner with her... don't let your ego mess-up a good thing. Just because you want to rule the roost. Let her control the keyboard some of the time .  If she has her own money accept the fact that her money is always her money and your money is always going to be her money too. don't get left over things that are really trivial. She may love you and stop being in Love with the guy you are now.  Be  fixable and try to understand her issues.