Have You Ever Been The Side Chick?

Who is Really To Blame? YOU or HIM?

So I'm really your one and only?

Whether you want to admit it or not, almost every woman has been a side chick at least once or twice  in their lives, some unknowingly and others intentionally.

Sideline chicks, also known as ‘homewreckers, h**s and mistresses’. He could spend hours with you and carry on what you think is a relationship and still go back to his wife or girlfriend.  But is that other woman really at fault on why your relationship failed or should you be looking at that male specimen laying next to you?

There is a different breed of female (and male)  in the world today. We live in a society where men believed they’re the prize versus the alternative and situation-ships are more ideal than actual relationships.In an 2017 article titled, The Psychology Behind A Side Piece In An Affair, the author suggests that most women who know they are side pieces are in the situation for themselves and they’re not worried about the other person. These women are simply not into traditional relationships so becoming a side piece is not a downgrade but a preference.  They tend to make the most out of their time with their “temporary man” without the daily grind or burden of tending to him  and doing those things that the main chick will be obligated to do ( i.e. laundry, cooking, cleaning). In other words, I could enjoy all the fun of being with a man without the stresses of actually taking care of one.

On the other hand, you have women who are side chicks and may not know it. Or are in denial.  These could be those home-girls, you know the ones that your boyfriend ( or husband) tells you not to worry about. We call those friends with benefits.

Side note: If he tells you not to worry about a specific female friend of his, you should worry about it.

Hi I went to school with you, didn't I?

Or the most common one, a woman he actually pursues, starts dating and thinks she is the only one, until she receives that call or text from the  real one. But ladies there are always signs to tell you whether or not you’re the side chick. It’s just your choice on whether or not you choose to acknowledge them. Listed below are a few red flags:

He is upfront with you about his situation

Never assume your position with a man, unless he verbally says it himself. If he tells you that you all are not together, he’s not looking for anything serious or my favorite one, we’re just cool, believe him. And if you choose to continue to deal with him, don’t be surprised or mad when you see something you don’t want to see. He told you sis…You never met any of his family, friends or anyone he considers important in his life. Especially  friends. You been seeing this person for months and you still don’t know who he hangs with?  The squad usually knows about your relationship before the family does. Red flag. You don’t receive the ‘good morning, goodnight or midday text’ But he could text you after 11 p.m. to ask ‘wyd’ and on a work night. Boy bye. He could take hours to respond back to your texts and if you try to call him, it goes  straight to voicemail. Men tend not to pick up the phone when BAE is around. But if you do happen to be with him and that same number keeps popping up on his caller ID and if he never answers it but won’t ignore it either, that’s the girlfriend. He’s always busy on the weekends. Unless it’s super, super late and you catch him while he’s out on the town with friends you never met. ( There goes that ‘wyd’ text again)  Other than that its happy hour after work and quick stops to your crib for some booty, but he has to be gone at least by 9 or 10 p.m. You’re the side chick. At the end of the day, both genders could be at fault for sidelines. Men, especially if the woman simply has no idea. In his mind, what his woman doesn’t know won’t hurt her and in truth, it won’t. But what’s done in the dark, you know the rest.  Guys tend not to mess up a system that is working for them. Why just settle for the cake, when you can have the pie  and ice cream too? However in her mind, all you come out to be  to her is a liar and someone who has been wasting her time and leading her on. And God forbid, if she invested feelings in you which usually happens and "I’m busting the windows out your car" ( why I thought of Jazmine Sullivan’s song while writing this, I have no idea).  But sis, if you know this man is in a relationship and you continue to deal with him, it’s all on you. Do better. And she is determined "I’m still busting the windows out your car and his."

You know men cry in the dark! So I'll wait till I get home!

Side ( pun intended) note: Situation-ships are situations in which you do everything as a couple; act like a couple, argue like a couple, have feelings like a couple , you may even live together like a couple, but you two are NOT a couple. Some women become content for just a piece of man and would put themselves in arguably, ‘B.S’ situations just to say that you two are “cool”. Hence, the side chicks who know they are side chicks. The women who choose to deal with a man knowing he has a whole, other relationship with someone else. There’s an argument between the two. When we’re together, we’re together, when we’re not, we’re not.