How does it feel when you are her very last choice?

So Why was I your last choice, to row you across the lake ?
 Did you save the best for last?

Basically  when your girlfriend and you have been going out (officially) for   a few months. Things may be going great but you may  really feel like you are  her last resort to have routing fun with. She is always busy doing things with friends and it feels like she makes just a little time for you,  unless there is nothing else on her schedule. What men need to understand women get into routines... when you come along these routines get interrupted. Adjustment need to happen, even though you might be "the almost perfect guy" ... she is not sure yet.
So my question is how can you talk to her about this in a good, non-accusatory way?
Fist of all: Don't sweat the small stuff!

  AM I, YOUR  LAST CHOICE TO DO SOMETIMES ---- ENJOYABLE  WITH?


If she's not making you her first priority, she's telling you how important you are to her, at that point, not your permanent status.
It may just be temporary.... so don't sweat her, about it.

By all means talk to her about it, if you want more quality time with her, but remember you're asking her to change something that comes naturally to her.

I don't know how your girl responds to talking, and after a few months I'm not sure you do either. But instead of bringing it up, I'd suggest you stop making her your top priority, and see how she likes it,  instead of parking on her doorstep every night. If you can be indifferent about it, I'd back off and do your own thing now and then. There's a lot of stock in the saying - "don't make someone a priority who makes you an option."

figure out which it is or both.
If you are last on her priority list then you are simply there so; a) she can say she had a boyfriend and
b) she has someone to go out with when her friends are not available.

However, - make sure that what you expect is "reasonable" - she does have the right to spend sometime with her friends.... as do you. By asking her to do the "me solo" thing, you are putting yourself in equal status category.

When in doubt. Go the extra mile.
 will
she really prefer a movie with her BFF... instead of dinner with the man who does all this?

If you don't like being in that position then move on. There is no point being with someone who doesn't care enough about you.

You can't talk someone into wanting something. You can, however, question why you'd want to pursue anyone who doesn't want time with you.

I'd do the opposite of talk, I'd pull back and observe. This would give you important information that otherwise can't be gained. If you stop doing all the work, how often will GF step up to pick up the slack? What kind of contact schedule will she fall into, and how often will she want to see you?

From there you can decide whether her patterns are livable for you. If not, you can either let her know that her definition of a relationship doesn't match with yours and you can try to negotiate seeing one another X (not 10) more times a week--or you can decide that her priorities will never match yours and you can walk away.


Feeling as if you're not getting adequate time with your NEW partner is really no different than spending too much time with your partner (aka clinginess) in the sense that both extremes can stifle intimacy. The remedy, as I've readily pointed out, is talking to her. Absolutely you want to be non accusatory and refrain from negativity. You're in a relationship so it should go without saying that communication -- a healthy dialogue -- is vital for it to succeed. Assumptions will only make things worse. Give her the opportunity to openly explain herself free from anger or resentment.

I've always felt taking walks together helps facilitate conversation, much easier than the pressure of sitting down staring at each other. Not only will the pressure be lightened by not directly having to maintain constant eye contact, but the fact that you are both moving helps the fluidity of conversation. Hold her hand, gently squeeze it, and tell her that you always enjoy seeing her so much and how much fun you two have together. Segue into how you think it'd be great if you could spend more time together and include some times (e.g., "maybe this weekend we could..."). Let her know that you are interested in increasing the frequency together. Don't mention that she spends more time with her friends. This will only cause her to be defensive and create unnecessary negativity. It could be as simple as obliviousness on her part or perhaps she thinks you're okay with the current arrangement you have. Just keep it positive and nonjudgmental. Don't expect to spend an enormous amount of time together; instead, be reasonable and expect to compromise that allows some middle ground. She should still be able to see her friends (and you see your friends) while at the same be able to spend more quality time with her.

Look me in the eyes and tell me
am I your last choice for better or worse,
richer or poorer, in sickness and in health? 

My final thought:
Being her last choice, can also the best thing.... simply because she  has stop looking "you are Mr. IT, In  her life like FLIN." She is  so comfortable that she has a man in you...  she can count on!...that she is not insecure anymore....she is now sure, that you are not  going anywhere after a few months of dating.
The things men forget is that women these days have had other relationships prior to us coming along. So they test your resolve. Don't blow it by being impatient with her! 
Unless you are ready to go back to being all alone. 

I really  enjoy listening to  this lady, her lyrics are so deep. "Living all alone" ~Phyllis Hyman RIP