How hard is it to correctly interpret what a man is feeling when he is quiet?

I need you to talk to me, I need to know what you are thinking

Quite often we men will suddenly stop communicating and become silent.

This is unheard of on the planet of Venus.

At first, a woman thinks the man is deaf.

She thinks that maybe he doesn’t hear what’s being said and that

is why he is not responding.

You see men and women think and

process information totally different.

Women think out loud, sharing their process of inner discovery

with an interested listener.

Even today, a woman often discovers what she

wants to say through the process of just talking.

This process of just letting thoughts flow freely and expressing them out loud helps

her to tap into intuition.

But men process information very differently.

Before we talk or respond, we first silently

“ mull over” or think about what we have figured out the most

correct or useful response.

We first formulate it inside and then express it.

This process could take from minutes to hours.

To make matters even more confusing for women,

If a man does not have enough information to process an answer,  

a man may not respond at all.

Women need to understand that when we are silent,

we are saying

“I don’t know what to say yet.

But I am thinking about it” Instead what women hear is

“I am not responding to you because I don’t care about you and

I am going to ignore you.

What you have said to me is not important

and therefore I am not responding.”

When a man is silent it is easy for a woman to imagine the worst.

The answers are in the flames!

  

A woman can‘t understand why a man would just sit and stare at a fire and

 not say a word for minutes on end.  

She is not comprehending that he is searching for answers that could be in the flames in front of him. Women misinterpret a man’s silence as indifference.

Depending on how she is feeling that day she may begin to imagine the very worst

 “ He hates being with me, he doesn’t love me,

he is leaving me forever.”

this may then trigger her deepest fears.

Which is “ I am afraid that if he rejects me then I will never be loved again.

I don’t deserve to be love.”

Here is the difference: When a woman listens to another woman,

she will continue to reassure the speaker that she is listening and that she cares.

Instinctively when the speaker pauses the female listener 

will reassure the speaker by making reassuring

noises like

” Oh, uh-huh, hmmm, ah, ah-ha” Without these reassuring responses,

a man’s silence can be very threatening.

Through understanding a man’s cave and roaring flames of fire,

women learn to interpret a man’s silence correctly, and how to respond to it.

Did we really need to get naked for you to open up to me,

about your thoughts?

 

Final thoughts

We men feel the need for a cave setting for a variety of reasons:

We need to think about the problem and find a practical solution to the problem.

We do not have an answer to a question or a problem. 

We were never taught to say

 “ Rats! I don’t have an answer. I need to go into my cave  and find one.” 

We become upset and stressed. And need to be alone to cool off and

find our control again. 

The list can be very lengthy. So when you understand the following you

might begin to understand the opposite sex a little better.

Women talk for a variety of reasons,

Men become silent for a variety of reasons.

Fact: Sometimes women talk for the same reasons that men stop talking.