The thoughts that float around in our heads are not the same as those that are floating around
in our mate’s minds!
The way to solving most problems is to understand them compassionately from both sides.
Otherwise, the resentfulness gets worse with each passing day.
With no cure in sight!
The solution to alleviating this resentment is for the woman and man to take responsibility
for their roles in causing it. The woman needs to take responsibility for having contributed
to her problems by giving more than she should have (in her mind the score is a blowout)
and letting the score get so uneven, that is when resentments
become overwhelming to both genders.
She needs to treat herself as if she has the flu or a cold and take a rest from giving so
much in the relationship, that she now resents her mate for just breathing.
She needs to pamper herself and allow her partner to take care of her
and even pamper her more often.
When a woman feels resentful (she is in a dark place),
she usually will not give her partner
a chance to be supportive, if he tries, she will negate the value of what he has done and
give him another goose egg (0) zero score.
She closes the door to his attempt at
supporting her. By taking responsibility for giving too much, she can give up blaming him
for all the problem and start a new scorecard. She can give him another chance and,
with her new understanding, improve the situation.
On the other side of the coin, when a man feels unappreciated, he stops attempting
to give the necessary support.
A sensible way he can responsibly deal with the situation is to understand that it is
hard for her to give points for his attempted support and appreciate him when she is
annoyed and resentful.
He can release his own resentment by understanding that she needs to receive
his devoted support for a while before she can give it again,
He can remember this as he attentively gives his love topping up her Love tank
with affection. For a while, he should not expect her to be as appreciative as
he deserves and needs.
It helps if he takes responsibility for giving her the resentment flu because he neglected to do the little things that she needed
With this foresight, he can give to her, without expecting much in return until
she recovers from her resentment flu. Knowing that he can solve this problem will
help him release his resentment as well. If he continues giving and she focuses on
taking a rest from giving and focuses on receiving his support with love,
the balance can be quickly restored.
“From now on its 100% and 100%, deal?”
A man rarely intends to take more and give less. Yet we men are notorious
for giving less in relationships. Probably you have experienced this in your relationships.
Women commonly complain that their male partner starts out more loving and then
gradually becomes passive. Men also feel unfairly treated. In the beginning, women
are so appreciative and loving, and then they become resentful and demanding.
This story can be understood when we realize how men and women keep score differently.
Men think when we do big things we should be awarded 3 points minimum whereas
women award us just 1 point regardless of the size of the deed.
So keep thinking only one point per deed, Fellahs. It’s better if you give yourself
a lower score than she would give you.
In other words (2) pointers are rare, and (3) pointers are extremely rare.
So don’t expect a moon shot and landing, your rocket does not have the range
to get to that highest score with your male mortal actions. Always calculate low
and be totally surprised if your score (on her scorecard) is higher than you calculated.
Trust me it’s better to be surprised at your cumulative score, given by her, can be
higher than you calculated on yours.
Final thought
While basketball superstar Steph Curry can score (3) pointers almost at will,
and his backcourt superstar teammate Klay Thompson can heat up like a
microwave and score point like it’s raining (3).
Let’s face it these guys have “mucho game” that contrast each other
in their personal lives. Steph is married to his dream wife and has (3) adorable kids.
The last one is a son (who I’m sure will grow up with a Midas touch himself,
the first two are adorable daughters who will grow up knowing that Dad is a
superhero, and mom is his equal… and holds down her own they will teach their daughters how to grow up with a Midas touches also. Their oldest daughter Riley has already
proven that she has it going on. Then you have Klay Thompson who is single,
he may have someone in his life other than his family but being a very private
guy he is “not kissing and telling” . Which could explain why he is cold at times
on the court and then heats up like a microwave in an instant and explodes for
50+ point in one night. Why am I rambling on about these two basketball superstars,
because these guys have had great examples their dads were very good role
models in their formative years, both had Parents who were very supportive?
Dads that were also professional basketball players and were very good back
in their day also. Klay ‘s dad was a champion with the L.A Lakers, while
Steph’s dad was a sharpshooter that was on less than great teams.
These are Family men who knew how to inspire their children to be all
they can be. These guys did not grow up in the hood they had advantages most
young men these days don’t have. Well OK, Lebron is the exception as far of not growing up with privileges like these other two dudes.
But his kids will grow with the same Midas touches as Steph and Klay.
When I watch these dudes of perfection perform on the court, their support
teams are seated in the stands and they are cheering them on.
Everytime a (3)pointer drops from deep behind the arch,
their main cheerleaders are their family members, who bring major support when you get it like that it’s infectious! It inspires, it motivates, and most importantly it makes one
want to perform at the level that brings cheers from everyone watching. When we know we have
our loved ones supporting us and adoring our efforts we feel complete.
Think about what you can
accomplish with devoted support ( ladies), and appreciation (guys).....from your mates.
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