OK, he might be serious about you!

Are you wondering if a guy is serious about you? There are some things guys make a conscious effort to not do for women they’re not serious about. So, if you catch your guy doing these, you can be sure he knew exactly what he was doing. And he is hoping to be in it for the long haul.


Might Ask about “that thing”
If you had a job interview you were nervous about, or a doctor’s appointment, a meeting about a possible promotion, or just something you had once mentioned was coming up and he makes a point of calling you up after to ask how it went, he is serious about you. Men who aren't serious about a woman make a point of not asking for too many details about her life.

Clarifies missed calls
Did he take hours to call back? Did he completely forget to text back? If you’re just someone he is having temporary fun with, he isn't concerned about you getting pissed about those things. But if he makes a point of saying, “Hey, sorry for taking so long, I was hung up in etc, etc” or “Oh my god I just realized you sent me a text when I was at work and I completely forgot to answer! I’m so sorry!” then you’re not someone he is willing to let go of easily. (Men know how much delayed call or text-backs upset women).



Offer to help
When you mention that you’re moving, or putting together some furniture, or looking for a new car, does he jump at the chance to help? Does he often look for ways he can be of service to you? Men don’t do that just for a woman they are trying to sleep with or casually date for a short period of time. They save that type of effort for ones they are serious about.

Plans ahead
If you’re just a fling to him, you are (unfortunately) kind of replaceable. But, if he is serious about you, no one else’s presence will do. You’ll know that is the case if he asks you a significant amount of time ahead of time to reserve a day so that you can be his date to something. That means he wants to guarantee he gets your time.

Cares about your career
If he really cares about you, he wants all the other things in your life that make you happy to go as well as possible! If a man has clearly put time into thinking about your career, and coming up with suggestions for how you could advance it or be happier in it, he plans on being around for a while. He is making sure things in your future will be good. Because he plans on being with you then and he wants to be with a woman who is happy.

Brags about you
If he isn’t serious about you, he may bring you to a party or a friend’s get together, but he’ll most likely leave you to fend for yourself. If he is serious about you, he is proud of you, and he will make a point of being near you to introduce you to people and tell them all about you and your accomplishments.

Just wants to cuddle
No man who is trying to keep things casual is going to make the terrible mistake of sending a, “Can’t you just be next to me so we can cuddle?” text. He knows that sends a serious signal. If a guy sends this type of text, he likes you very much..

Who ever controls the birth control. has the final word?

I'm going to get a little personal in this one. As I take a trip down memory lane I find my self remembering a defining moment in my married life. The now   ex-wife and I  discussed stopping at baby No. 2. I  was fine with that!. She wanted  her  tubes tied and not get on birth control anymore. I told her I didn't want her to do anything she was going to regret, by  going to the extreme and suggested instead that I could wear a condom. She said her  body was already used to the  trauma since she had just  given birth, ( this was a discussion  in the delivery  room after my second son was born) so why not add the Tubal ligation to the operation? I had to agree, because she made sense. and it didn't cost me anything. So I was lucky in that sense.

Consider this your heads-up that you may  not  like my answers to " who should control the birth control ". A husband’s point of view here is my only view point. when there’s an issue that needs addressing, and he’s decided that you alone are the one who needs to address it. He’s not willing to take the most simple solution——because he doesn't want to lose any pleasure. He is, however, comfortable placing the onus of solving the birth control   issue on you, since you’re “used to trauma” even though it requires significantly more sacrifice from you than it would from him.

Your husband is way too comfortable shucking the responsibility onto you the woman  frustration is understandable. Women would want men to consider having a vasectomy.  But here is what women do not know. Men have 3 main reasons why they should not have a vasectomy. Heart Disease Risk, Prostate Cancer Risk, Dementia Risk

. That said, It is very important that women understand what men are really objecting to,  men often  make it 100 percent clear that we don't consider family planning our  problem. So unless you’re going to stop having sex after kid No. 2—it actually solves the current problem and addresses all concerns but raises an even bigger one—you’re going to have to pick up the ball he’s decided to drop in your lap.

The bottom line is that when it comes to childbearing and rearing, the primary sacrifice—body, time, energy—comes from you (ladies). If you want to ensure that you don’t have a house full of kids with someone who,  you may  think doesn't  pulls his weight, you need to make sure it doesn't happen , force the  a condom wear if you have, too. But most importantly, you bite the bullet and go to your OB -GYN and have a conversation about your best options.

Now that we've addressed that, can we get to the real issue? You (ladies) feel that you’re getting the short end of the stick in your marriage and you’re sick of it. You’re arguing about what’s “fair” and what you've “given up” and “his” kids, not “our kids.” Family planning is just the battleground on which you've chosen to fight an ongoing war. If it wasn't this, it would be something else, and it will become everything else until you feel that your husband is making sacrifices almost equal to yours.

Instead of arguing around this issue, it will be much more simple and much less painful if you can just address it. Try, “I am frustrated because I feel------ ” and “What I need to not be frustrated is ----” and “You can help me by doing this or that  ... ” Ask for what you want, whether it’s him watching the kid(s) so you can work out to get your body back, or him being more supportive of your going back to school or staying at the office longer to make up for lost time. Whatever it is, speak up so you can get your needs met. and stop resenting your man for whatever thinking  ----  it's not his fault.
Go down your to-do-list and check off what you each can do to make life more manageable for both of you, the Roles couples now have in a busy world to throw out the old play book and define the roles as you both need to have your needs met and sacrifices is part of the equation. compromise is part of the equation. Don't copy anyone else's life define your own. and partner up on the efforts. 

He/she might not be the right One for you!

Pretty much everyone wants to be in-love and have that special someone for companionship, friendship and support, and to build a life with. But in today’s fast-paced world and despite amazing advancement in technology, we still seem to have trouble finding the right one. Simply because we are starting from the premise that " the Mountain needs to come to Mohammed"
Here’s the thing: if you are making excuses in your own head and to family and friends as to why you are staying with him, he is not the right one for you.
In fact, sometimes we get frustrated and settle for the wrong one. Here are some signals that the one you are with right now is not Mr. Right.

• Mr/Ms. Unavailable most of the time.
He’s/ she's difficult to get in touch with. That’s usually a sign that they are involved with someone else or they actually are   work-a-holics, or simply not very interested. Either way, you are left in the cold.

• Mr. Mean/Ms. Impossible.

They doesn't compliment you. They haven't said anything nice since you first went out. That’s a sign that they doesn't value you. They should be proud to have a lady or a Gentleman on their arm, and while they doesn't have to shower you with compliments, there’s gotta be something they see in you and they needs to say it, now and then. Now and then is better than over kill, all the time.... this might also mean they are faking it.

• Dr. Good Time Now and Then.
Whenever you are together, you may have a great time. The problem is it only happens once in a while. When they makes time for you, it’s all cool and wonderful. But they are  not taking you serious if it’s only occasionally. You know how it is… when a man really wants a woman, he does what it takes to be with her, and show her a good time.
Actually here is where men are  from Mars and women are from Venus..  when a woman really wants a man, she does some of the things necessary to be with him, and makes  herself available  for a good time!

• Mr. I need a Maid. or Ms. I need a butler/ handyman/everything man/ a new Daddy.
Oh no. This is the one who wants you to do his laundry, cook for him rather than go out and can’t seem to keep a clean place. He is looking for a maid. After all this is the 21st century... Guys who need a maid  should pay a maid to do his cleaning up for him. Find a man who can take care of himself, not  play waitress to his needs. OK.. Ms. I need a Butler/ handyman/ everything man. a new Daddy. You might be looking  for a long while. those guys are very  rare! Maybe your daddy was a man like that.. He is one in a million and your mother was very lucky, so luck like that like lighting may only strike your family once....

• Mr. Stubborn/ Ms. hard head.
They are  not flexible. They makes the rules and they makes most of the decisions as to where you will go, what you will see and maybe even what you will wear. Successful relationships involve compromise, so for the long term, this would mean trouble, unless you think you can be happy being someone's  doormat.

• Mr. Nonchalant Ms. Whatever.
They don't seem to care one way or other whether or not you are in their life. In fact, if you walk away, they won’t try to get you back. You are just a convenience to them. A guy who is  so nonchalant about you is not very caring.  He’s basically a quitter that doesn't fight for anything, and that means you, too. and a woman who is so into her needs only, is someone who will, have other guys on speed-dial, or sending group text on whatsApp to others, stateting "I'm available! hit me up"

So how does a man react when his lady starts undressing as soon as she get's him alone!

People rarely think about how a balanced sex life is beneficial to overall health, but this is something that is critical to maintaining optimal wellness. Every person has a different idea about how they want to release their sexual energy and there is no one way that can be deemed as right or wrong. However, many remain unclear about what exactly defines a healthy sex life.  Some have sex drives that are intense and passionate, whereas others may be more subtle in their approach and execution.  A healthy sex life doesn't always mean having physical intercourse with a partner and this fact can often be confusing.

As stated previously, sexual expression isn't always about having physical intercourse.  Sexual energy is also creative energy and that energy can be put into a project that is artistic in nature or into a project such as starting a new business or even building upon relationships with others.  Building intimacy with a partner is a great form of sexual expression as well.  Additionally, playing out sexual fantasies, whether they involve a sexual encounter or refrain from physical contact, is another healthy way to express erotic energy.  Self-love, self-pampering and even having conversations about sex are options for sexual expression as well.

However you choose to balance your sex life is up to your personal decision, but the most important thing to remember is that erotic expression is essential for both singles and couples. Maintaining a natural flow of energy centers within the body will keep you in great spiritual shape and improve overall health over time. Being open to new ideas and non-judgmental are the first steps toward gaining a healthy sex life.

If you've been hitched for a few years, married sex might go something like this: You’re in, out, and back to watching Netflix in 10-20 minutes. So how can you kick-start a sex life gone stale, and make monogamy as hot as it was on your honeymoon? Follow these four tips for rekindling the flame inside and outside the bedroom.

1. Plan a Sex Date

Back in your dating days, you probably put a lot more thought into your courtship and sex life. Though you’re off the market now, steal a page from your single-guy playbook and plan a romantic rendezvous. 

I’m a big proponent of scheduled sex,Most people balk when I suggest this, but dates take planning, pre-thought, scheduling, in order to have fun!

Fellahs.....You used to pull out all the stops to impress your date in hopes of getting laid: A clean-shaven face. Roses at the ready. A shirt you actually ironed! The more effort you put into planning, the more you’ll build anticipation and excitement—which can make all the difference between feeling “too tired for sex,” and your woman slipping on (and stripping off) her special panties. 

2. Be Spontaneous 

In the same vein, arousal comes from the unexpected. Our brains are hard-wired to seek novel experiences, and we secrete dopamine in response to things that are new and exciting.

When there’s novelty, we get a great sense of sexual satisfaction, and it’s almost like we’re feeling all of those same hormones that were there in the first stages of romance.

Start small by sending her flowers for no reason, or greet her when she comes home from work by wearing a trench coat—and nothing on underneath. Then spice things up by searching around your house for new spots to have sex, like on top of your laundry machine (turn it on and set it to the spin cycles at the right time) or on the kitchen island. (Just make sure the kids aren't home, and your silverware is stashed away.) 

3. Re-Learn Her Desires

People who have been having sex for decades get into this thinking where they know everything there is to know about sex, The reality? False. 

Our bodies and desires change over time, so it can be useful to check in with your partner to re-calibrate your sex life. try  “skin time” to get re-acquainted with each other: Lie naked, side by side, without cell phones or other distractions and without the promise of sex. “We’re looking for erotic moments, here,

Take time to re-learn what turns your partner on. If she was too tame for bondage back when you got married, it’s possible she’s eager to try it now. Exploring both old and new fantasies can revive the passions you had at the beginning of your relationship. 

4. Have a Blast

Sex with your wife shouldn't be a chore. Keep in mind that it’s not all about getting the orgasm—it’s about having fun. Flirting with your wife throughout the day can build up anticipation for the evening, especially if you allow some mystery. 

In other words, send her a few frisky texts throughout the day instead of a tacky dick picture but she could send you pictures of her boobs cleavage . Playing is what triggers dopamine, which triggers arousal. 

***Note: 
women do not react  with  admiration or excitement  if their partner is caught  masturbating ahead of time! So don't do it, as she is walking into the room.
 Men on the other hand welcome the sight of their woman getting it on just as he walks into the room. 

Looking to move beyond missionary? Try turning to the Kama Sutra.
a. Sammukha
b. Janukurpara
c. Piditaka
d. Virsha 
e. Tripadam

Men just want to be desired!

Out in the World, there are so many married men walking around frustrated, I know because I was one of them not too long ago. They feel hurt, dejected, and flat out annoyed by the situation they have been faced with. They don’t know what else to do, and the same question just keeps repeating in their mind, “why oh why won’t this woman give me some more love in the form of passionate sex?”

Yeah that is pretty much the honest truth about what many husbands go through. I acknowledge there are wives experiencing the same, but this blog post  is about the men, so stay focused. Sometimes the issue isn't about the amount of sex, but the fact that their wife isn't initiating it enough. Some women may say, “well if he is still getting it, then what’s the problem?” Well a problem can still easily arise, and here is why a wife should make a greater effort to initiate sex with her husband.

He Doesn't Always Know When You’re In The Mood
For most women, sexual receptiveness is contingent upon the state they are in mentally and emotionally. For most men, sexual desire is contingent on when they feel horny and aroused. Unfortunately those two don’t always line up at the right time which can contribute to many husbands not getting the amount of sex they desire. When hanging with my buddies and their wives at sports night gatherings in the past  I always encourage the wives to take advantage of when they know the stars have aligned and they are in a positive mind state. This is a great time to initiate sex with their husbands because they will have a better chance of enjoying it or at the least have enough strength to get through it.

It Expresses Desire

As much as men enjoy sex, most (if not all) also enjoy feeling truly desired by their partner. When a husband has to constantly be the one to initiate sex, it starts to take a toll on him mentally and emotionally. He may start to feel unwanted, and that will start to chip away at his ego and create other issues in the marriage. Even if his wife always agrees to having sex with him, that still doesn't eliminate the potential concern that she doesn't truly desire him. That can easily translate into lackluster sex, which can lead to the man not caring to have sex with his wife at all (this is not good). Wives should be mindful of this and find ways to help create more desire which both parties need in a marriage.
No matter how much some may want to dismiss or downplay it, the fact remains that sex is extremely essential for a man in his marriage. A husband needs sex, and though he isn't going to physically die if he doesn't get it, he will die a little on the inside if his wife continues to neglect him sexually.(which explains why men often die before their wives) Seriously, when sex in marriage gets overlooked you can be certain there will be a very negative impact. So a wife who makes time to initiate sex, is a wife who is showing a willingness to pour into her husband one of the things he needs. Notice I said “one” of the things, because it takes much more than sex to keep a husband truly happy in his marriage, but we will save those other things for a different post.

Keep it fresh and spontaneous
Any wife or potential wife reading this, I want to encourage you to initiate more sex in your marriage. Take time to find out how often your husband truly desires to have sex, and try to come to some level of compromise to give him what he needs. Do not take this as a dismissal of what a husband should do to create a healthier sex life with his wife. A greater effort is needed on both ends in order to get things on the right track. You don’t want to continue the negative cycle, help to break it by finding ways to create a better sex life and a better marriage overall.

This is why having a good man in your life is a Plus plus

Because some things are just better with a buddy (whom you happen to be dating).

There's no doubt that being a single lady can definitely be fun, but that doesn't mean that you turn into some boring twosome when you enter a new relationship. In case you need some reassurance while your single girlfriends are busy going on Grouper dates,
Going from single to in a relationship with one little click.....It may  feel as good now as it did when you were in college. Plus, all those "likes" and comments on your new relationship status totally give you warm, fuzzy feelings.
That's when your new sidekick comes in. Whether you're bringing on Netflix together or taking a nap outside in the park, it's totally normal to just enjoy each other's company in silence and peaceful harmony.
Here is Just a few things to note:

You've got someone to tell you that you look better than you think you do.
Don't get me wrong, you are gorgeous. But you all have those moments where your hair is doing that weird flipping out thing and you can't get your eyeliner to go on right. That's when we smart men  chime in with some variation of, "Well, I think you look smoking hot." And all is right with the world.

You'll save a ton on spa services.
Seriously. From full-body massages to scalp-scrubbing shampoos, when you're in a relationship you've got access to feel-good treatments you would have to pay for or DIY as a single lady. He'd probably even paint your toes if you asked nicely (and have low upward expectations). Obviously you'll have to think of some way to return the favor. I'm sure you can think of a few.

You might discover how much you actually love ‘Video Games .’
How would you know that Daenerys Targaryen was your dragon lady soul sister if it weren't for a man's  obsession with the TV show? And even if he isn't into sword fighting, there are probably tons of things he likes doing that you would have never ( never ever) tried if he didn't make you. And that is a good thing.
He'll play nurse, when you are sick.
Even if you haven't vowed to be there in sickness and in health just yet, he's ready to help you through a hangover, the flu, or that epic UTI. And he comes bearing your favorite sick food. Score 3 pointers for the good guys.

You have a legit excuse when you can't handle another night out at a bar with your girls .
Tuesday   booze-night? Nope, you've got a hot date with your partner and they're ordering a pizza. Boom.
Speaking of ready and willing, he's usually just that.
What's better than waking up post-sexy dream next to your special someone? At that moment, pretty much nothing.close to each other time can't be share with your girls, unless you swing that way.

You can delete your Tinder account.
No more swiping, oops! unsolicited penis pictures, or guys who do not look like they do in their profile. Ugh,
You get to split the cost of some things.
Yes, you might be sharing literally everything, especially if you live together, but that sacrifice comes with a
50 percent off discount. Woo hoo! 
You don't have to deal with creepy guys at bars.
Your single friends shouldn't give these dudes the time of day either, but just one touch of your smartphone brings up the screensaver of you and your man and sends those guys on their way faster than you can say, "Sorry, I have a boyfriend. and he can bench press 350 lbs as a warm up"

You totally have an excuse to have a wedding-themed Pinterest board and  Houzz.com account and now you subscribe to Jetsetters email deals.
It doesn't matter if your relationship is two weeks old or has been going strong for two years. When you're in a relationship, those mason jar lanterns just seem a little bit more doable and a little less cheesy.

You get free therapy.
that time of the month? He hears you and searches the Nutri-bullet website  for green smoothies that will give you instant relieve. Or will give a comforting shoulder to rest your head on.

You're in an awesome, supportive relationship, because you're free to vent about work stress or whatever  drama with your friends without judgment (in moderation obviously). Maybe it's not exactly professional help, but your man will listen and probably offer some  advice. Bonus: This guy is into  YOU--and hopefully you can't say the same for your therapist ( who touches you thigh with clammy hands.) <smirking>

Why do we fear the consequences! roll the dice, take some risks!

In relationships while casually dating initially we Don't Fear Failure: It's often More Important To Make The Right choice in who to  have a relationship with, than making a decision on how far to take it. It's better to make the wrong choice  Than No Decision At All ( which could mean sitting at home wondering, what would I be doing if  had a date tonight). every good or Bad choice is a lesson that will eventually benefit you. 
The fact that Nobody likes to fail, is in my humble opinion, causes in-action. Failure can be embarrassing, humiliating and emotionally upsetting, so it’s no wonder we’re naturally inclined to avoid taking the risk. Unfortunately, the fear of failure can also be paralyzing, which is why in the 21st century folks we need to take calculated risks—I strive to give myself and others permission to make mistakes. Without it, how can we make progress?

Allow  me to share an example from early in my dating years,when I heard negative feedback about a person who I was dating, I heed the warnings but didn't walk away,  because I often to time to evaluate the information.Let me give you an example on understanding a situation : Have you ever watched a little girl play with a new doll ? At first she handles it with care and love. After about 90 days or so you find that doll dirty, headless and stripped naked under a bed somewhere. The little girl didn't know or appreciate it's value, long term. To her, it was just a toy for the moment. A play thing to have fun with and throw away. She wants a NEW doll to replace the old one after a short while. Women on one hand, are still like the little girl with an old doll when they have been with a guy for awhile, they want to walk away within a short period  if he is stale and not very exciting, you will get the kiss-off on the forehead, and cold  goodbye. to avoid being dull I, have a sure method that has never failed  I can be very attentive very few women can reject an attentive man. No woman ever could call  me indecisive and get frustrated that I wasn't answering her questions, or phone calls in a timely fashion. I always, as it  turns out, was very attentive almost to a fault this could have been  out of   fear of making a wrong decisions, of possibly blowing it, if I was acting like a player, playing games, I would loose.  A good friend of mine once told me , “All  women  want is one thing from a man , but I believed the right woman wants something else, not what he  was thinking.
Most of the time. We feared the consequences of making the wrong decisions, so We made no decision at all. And, as it turned out. more often than not  Our lack of making  decisions results in everyone being unhappy—which is exactly what we want to  trying and avoid! Once I realized what is happening, I reassured woman that I've got her  back. I believe that it’s important for man to empower woman  to make decisions of her own, even if the decisions are not necessarily the same decisions we men might make about where things are going. And if the decisions turn out to be incorrect, it’s important to learn from the mistake rather than try to hide it. The way I see it, unless you’re taking steps to move forward, you’re falling behind.
Though it hasn't always been easy to overcome the fear of making a mistake, I remind myself of the things I tell my fellahs in crime:

1. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?” Unless you’re a surgeon, most decisions you make during the course of your day aren't a matter of life and death. Don’t lose perspective. If your well-thought-out decision doesn't work out, the consequences are rarely as damaging as you might fear.

2. Delaying your decision won’t make it easier. In fact, quite the opposite can happen. When you procrastinate over making a decision, anxiety builds. And before you know it, a relatively insignificant decision may—in your own mind—take on monumental importance.

3. Do something. It’s better to make a decision and change it than to make no decision at all. It’s much like what I learned when I studied chemistry in college. If you stay static, the environment will change around you, and you’ll become obsolete. In life, if you become paralyzed by the fear of failure, you’ll be left behind.and she will , not might, move on, to the guy with the golden tongue who will B.S. her until she can't take it anymore. but she will not return to you!

I also believe strongly in the need to re-frame the discussion around failure. The very word—failure—sounds so heavy. Instead, I encourage people to think of it this way: If a decision you make turns out to be the wrong one, you didn't fail; you just didn't make the best decision at that time. Pat yourself on the back for taking a risk, and learn from it. Nobody’s perfect. In most cases, getting it right 80 percent of the time is good enough—and it’s certainly better than taking no action at all. If you do not you will be hearing Marvin Gay in your head for weeks and weeks....

Women are Closing The Confidence Gap. But are Women Investing smarter in futures?

High-powered women from around the World  have been weighing in recently on the subject of whether women can “have it all.” One area in particular where women appear to need help “leaning in”: investing their money. It’s a phenomenon some money experts call “the female financial paradox”: Women are a growing economic force, expected to add $6 trillion in earned income globally over the next five years, according to new research by The Boston Consulting Group released in 2013. Yet many women lag behind men when it comes to using those assets to plan and build financial security for the future.
What’s this about?  :
“I’ve got nearly $100,000 sitting in a savings account earning less than 1 percent interest,” says a 42-year-old VP of marketing at a major retailer in New York.  “I know I could get a better return if I invested in the stock market, but I don’t have the time to figure out how to get started.”  I can try and sum it up in my BAD way for you. Here is and example of a woman who has saved  USD $100,000
Are you serious, Right now?   You don't have the time to figure it out, this is your money (  you should be reading and finding answers on what to do with Your money, you earned and saved it . A woman would be in her man's earn telling him, he needs to invest their money in a smart way (community property) so that she will be properly taken care of  in her golden  years, when, not  if  he dies before her. But here is one (smart)  woman who  can't figure out what to do with her own money she saved... Stop procrastinating take charge of your life already.

She isn't alone in putting financial planning on the back burner. According to the 2014 Northwestern Mutual Planning and Progress Study, the number one roadblock for people who think their planning could use improvement is a lack of time. Other studies show that many American women share this “head-in-the-sand” approach to long-term planning. But that strategy won’t work,  not if women are to enjoy the financial security they deserve.

Women have more power and earning potential than ever before. They now make up the majority of college graduates, represent nearly half the labor force and are the primary breadwinners in 42 percent of households,” this cited in The Shriver Report published in 2014. “Because they’re balancing careers and families with philanthropic pursuits and other projects, however, they often place others ahead of themselves..... Change your mindset!
In my BAD opinion ( I know what you are thinking what is he coming with now?) Women are still too dependent on men to make key decisions for them. Your mother and Your grand-mother had no choices, but you have options and should take control of your lives, even if you have a husband. Don't be A+ dependent, become a self sufficient woman ( which is a  major Asset in any relationship).

This plays out in a number of different ways. Some women save for their children’s college education before their own retirements. Others give generously to loved ones today, helping them to buy cars, houses and other large-ticket items. However. There may be a high price to putting short-term needs in front of long-term goals. I don't buy the excuse, that woman are programmed to become dependent on the men in their lives, too much. You will hear a self sufficient woman say: "I need a man to do that for me!" Why? "Because It is too hard to do it for myself" Women  need someone to blame if it goes wrong. The man  will take the hit and then he will be work himself to death trying to fix it. 

Most women will spend at least part of their life on their own, either because they never marry or because they lose a spouse to divorce or death. This means many will be forced to manage their own finances in their later years without the support of a partner. And because women tend to live longer than men, their money will need to stretch further. So get off your duff and get to figuring out your finances...... Ladies, you are smarter than many under educated men you meet. Guys are not spending much time  learning at  institutions of Higher learning these days.  If you hand your future over to these jokers you will loose your blouse, your skirt and your undies, all in one bad investment pyramid scheme. 

Not surprisingly,  it’s crucial for women of all ages to engage in the long-term planning necessary to help ensure a secure retirement.(Here is where a good  him/her  team will have checks and balances)  Now check out these recommendations that  women should  take these following actions seriously:

1. Get in the game. Women are participating in their employers’ retirement plans at the same rate as men. The problem is, they typically save less—an average of 6.9 percent of pay compared to 7.6 percent for men, according to 2013 a report by Aon Hewitt. Many also don’t contribute enough to take advantage of any company match. This makes it harder for women to build sufficient savings to fund retirement. In fact, according to the Aon Hewitt report, women have average plan balances that are significantly less than men’s, consistently across all salary ranges ($59,300 for women vs. $100,000 for men). The solution? Women should take full advantage of their retirement plans as soon as possible. The key to building wealth is to start early, set aside as much as possible and always contribute at least as much to get any employer match that may be available.

2. Make “friends” with risk. Women prefer to preserve wealth even if it means giving up higher returns. Take a 51-year-old attorney as an example; she has consistently contributed the maximum allowed by her law firm’s retirement plan. she knows she should be investing in stocks, but I don’t want a repeat of 2008. her money is parked in a money market fund, where she thinks it’s safe.

Many women should see financial planning as a way to protect against the unexpected. The problem with concentrating your savings in lower-risk assets, such as cash, is that your money won’t grow fast enough to help fund your retirement and other long-term goals. You should consider investing a portion of your money in assets with the potential for growth. What's the best way to get started? Understand your tolerance for risk and find an appropriate allocation for your portfolio that allows you to sleep at night.


3. Make communication a priority. Some women shut down when it comes to talking about investing because they find the jargon too confusing to understand. this I  believe is your cue to talk more about the life and family issues that drive your investment decisions, not less. Knowledge really is power, especially when it comes to investing. If your financial adviser isn't speaking clearly and answering your questions in the way you need, let him or her know. The more you know about your money, the more confident you may feel about your future.

4. Collaborate on a plan. The number one piece of advice I would give to couples is to make all financial decisions together.  but if you are alone.... Follow the best advise you can get and ask for examples. Building a financial plan with a r financial adviser gives you an opportunity to discuss your respective financial goals and helps you identify potential challenges that need to be addressed. It also enables you to sort through any differences and facilitates the creation of a solid road-map for getting where you want to go. Best of all, joint, with your partner or self, accountability can be a powerful way to achieve financial success. 

Dealing with outrageous Jealousy !

Some women you date can be very jealous. They want to know your every move. They text and call you 24/7. this can lead to you becoming   very annoyed due to  this unpleasant  experience. It can lead to a break up called by you. She might as well breakup with you by her obsessive thought of you having another girl each time she sees you talking to a friend, your co-worker or class mate.

In cases like these you might be forced to take action. It might be a mixture of jealousy and obsession which is a very bad recipe for any relationship. If you really love her or want to have a future with her you might consider counselling but if not its best not to tarry to long with a obsessive and very jealous woman. Jealousy however  is not a BAD thing,  it can be a good thing. A relationship without jealousy can be a  telling story.

It shows how much the relationship is worth, for instance if your lady don’t become jealous when she sees you with another girl that appears to be a potential treat to your relationship then chances are your lady is not in love with you and she might be dating you for other reasons apart from love, like money, and your status in the community, I. think it would be ideal to say you should not feel too comfortable around overly jealous women, but a little green eyed look can be sexy.

Jealousy can be good and bad. Let us start with the negative effect. Your girl could be so insecure and jealous that she will go to the point of dating another guy( getting the advantageous  edge before it happens to her). That would definitely have a negative impact on your relationship. The relationship may become abusive especially if you are also very jealous.  In this situation you have to be extremely careful and be conscious. Don’t let your emotions get the best of you. The last thing you want is a physical dispute between both of you. Both of you should work out your differences and understand each other. It’s better to be verbal with jealousy than to be at risk of trauma caused by physical disputes.

The positive side of your lady being jealous is one of which you know factual that you are not being played. She is jealous because obviously she really checks for you and she has good reasons for dating you. She’s not dating you just for money or what you can give her but rather for what you mean to her. If you know she’s is a lady that gets jealous easily you should try not to steer her in that direction. You can do it just to test her feelings for you.

If in the case you are the one that is insecure and becomes jealous of your lady easily you should address the issue. Do not bottle it up inside you as in don’t pretend you are not that jealous type. Let her know that you are easily affected by who she talks to and text. She will then become more comfortable around you and without you asking give you all details on her going in and going out.

It's about her.. Orgams!

A woman's orgasm may have a lot to do with her ability to focus on her body and steer her thoughts in a certain way, a new study suggests.

Women in the study who reported regularly reaching orgasm during sex seemed to be more focused on their bodily sensations during intercourse than the women who had trouble having regular orgasms with their partners, the research pointed out.

The research also found that the women in the study who regularly reached orgasm during sex reported having more erotic thoughts when they were having intercourse than those who did not have orgasms regularly during sex. However, both groups of women reported having equal amounts of erotic thoughts during self-stimulation without their partners present.

The researchers did not expect that the cognitive aspect of orgasm in women would be as important as the results suggested, said  a professor at the department of sexology and family science at the University of Louvain in Belgium. [Busted! 6 Gender Myths in the Bedroom & Beyond]

It seems that women have no problem focusing on erotic fantasies when they are on their own. But women who do not have regular orgasms during intercourse seem to have more difficulties focusing their attention on the present moment when they have sex with their partners. And concerns about their looks and weight may also distract some women.

For the study, the researchers recruited 251 French women ages 18 to 67. That group consisted of 176 women who defined themselves as "orgasmic," which means that they regularly had orgasms during sex, and 75 women who defined themselves as "not orgasmic," meaning they reported having difficulties reaching orgasm during sex with their partners.

All the women in the study were sexually active, "with a frequency of sexual activity varying between two and 90 times per month," the researchers wrote. Almost 90 percent of the women were heterosexual.

The women in the study answered questions about the emotions, thoughts and behaviors that typically play a role in being able to orgasm, during both sex and self-stimulation. Having a man that would be cooking for her first thing in the morning might make her have an orgasm  or two, that night because she is not thinking about what she has to do first thing in the morning. 

The results align with those of existing research, published in September 2011 in the journal Sexologies, the researches said. That study found a link between the lack of erotic thoughts during intercourse and difficulty in reaching orgasm for women. The study also determined that the women who had difficulties reaching orgasm were more likely to be distracted by thoughts during intercourse that were not related to sex.

The Human Sexuality Research Laboratory at the University of Ottawa, study showed the new findings about the importance of the use of erotic thoughts during sex were particularly interesting. They suggest that women could employ certain techniques to increase their ability to focus on their physical sensations,

Certain treatments now in use do address such issues.

There is some evidence in the literature that suggests that mindfulness approaches to the treatment of sexual dysfunction can be quite successful. Women who exercise feel better about themselves, and are more energetic and more relaxed during sex.   

This kind of combined treatments aims to help women focus on the present moment during sex and thus increase their arousal and reach orgasm.

Women also show differences related to their ages, as younger women are more likely to experience problems having orgasms than older women, Hmm ! That is why 40+ year older women are in high demand these days. This suggests that there is likely a learning aspect to being able to reach orgasm more reliably, for instance, by using erotic thoughts! some of these new findings were published in the June issue of the journal Sexologies.

Is it exclusive dating, or not?

 OK I'm very late. I just finally watched "Think Like a Man." which prompted me to write this blog post  about exclusive dating.  So if you are kissing each other over the Internet, you are not really kissing!

You are  not in a committed relationship, just because  you are dating someone ( not getting physical that often ). Another guy has asked you out on a date, which you accepted. ( because he matches the profile you think you want, remember a "new person should always be an upgrade" ) Now your friends are giving you grief, saying; and I quote: "you  should date one person at a time and give the current relationship  a chance to grow." So Are they  wrong?

Your friends are good people who are giving you BAD advice. They are wrong if you are not exclusive.

Exclusivity is for committed relationships, and if you  aren't in one, you shouldn't act like you are. If the guy you’re dating doesn't want you to see other people, , then he should offer you a commitment and a title (my girlfriend, my Lady, my woman, my fiance.) And just so you know, if he hasn't asked you to be in a exclusive relationship, he’s not exclusive to you—and he shouldn't be. He’s single! And so are YOU!

Here’s the thing: What if you date this guy for months, finally ask him, “Where is this going?” and he comes back with, “I like things the way they are” or “I just want to be friends with benefits.” Then you've invested months getting to know someone who’s never going to be your man, and you’re left disappointed with no options on your plate. You’re stuck either sticking with a guy who doesn't want to commit, and maybe trying to convince him to change his mind (pointless), or starting over from scratch after months invested and no commitment to show for it. That’s a waste of your pretty time.

Exclusivity is also a resource. One of the many reasons that men commit, other than “just” liking you, is that they see you have a lot to offer. A man knows that if he sees it, other men will notice that, too, and he doesn't want you entertaining the thoughts of other men.

A commitment is an attempt to keep you all to himself. When you give exclusivity away, you’re giving away one good reason for him to commit. He’s got one of the big bonuses of a relationship (and likely others, too) without actually being in one anyway. What’s the incentive here?

I challenge you to rethink what dating is—not a relationship status but an activity... A process of elimination . Your goal while doing this activity is to have fun and evaluate the person you’re dating to see if you actually like him. That’s it. so Ladies , After you've spent a few months—you need to see his ups and, more important, his downs—then you discuss a relationship.

When you meet a man, even if you like him, don’t shut yourself off from other men. Keep going out, keep flirting, keep meeting people, and keep going on dates with anyone you find interesting and/or attractive to. He is.

The “rules” for dating multiple people are simple:

* Do not date two people on the same day (tacky).

* Do be honest if one of the people you’re dating asks if you are dating other people. It’s generally an unspoken assumption for single people. If you’re new to dating the right way and don’t know what to say, offer this: “I enjoy our time together, but I’m also exploring my options!”

* Do be exclusive to the person you’re on a date with when you are out. That means when he gets up to go to the men’s room, you don’t holler at the guy sitting at the bar. You also put your phone away and don’t take calls or return texts from the other men you’re seeing. I know, you just thought, “Isn't that obvious?” Actually, no. I've been asked several times if it’s OK to answer the phone. It isn't. Would you want someone to do that to you?

* Do not have sex with more than one person (high risk for sexually transmitted infections STD), if you choose to have sex with the person you’re dating. Dating doesn't automatically mean, “Let’s have sex!” It means getting to know people and evaluating them to see if they are a good match. Or just having fun, depending on what you’re looking for. Be honest with yourself and your date about what you’re looking for. If you’re not sure, say so.

* Do recognize that being exclusive is a resource you don’t giving away, without an end game plan.