Seeing your friends cheating.. Should you keep it a secret, or not?

I have a feeling many readers are not going to like the gist of my blog post, which is, essentially saying , "be quiet, and mind your own  business," when you  see others cheating on their significant other.  It’s unfortunate that you could be   drawn into this drama by being made privy to a big secret. I imagine that friends who know about deceit in relationships...  feel guilty about their actions of needing someone to talk to about what they know. They may even be hoping that by telling a third party you (the innocent bystander,) you  will do their dirty work for them by telling the wife that her husband and his  “girl-friend” are up to no good. Don't Make it's less stressful  for some folks by   putting  yourself in the wife's place and asking yourself who would  she be angry with her husband or you for telling her. You already know the answer! It's a no win situation, trust me,  don't put yourself in other peoples business or their  battle fields..... that’s not your fight. This is for the wife, the husband and the alleged mistress to hash out whenever they get around to it. 

It’s clear that  friends always want to help the victim, largely based on the fact that the wife may  have no idea what 's  going down.  Unless you have solid  proof of the affair, it's not the smartest thing to do, by   running to your friend to say, “Guess what!” you might be labeled as the trouble maker.....  when the wife follows up with the “girl-friend” and her husband about what’s going on, they both adamantly will deny the truth and blame you for being a  jealous friend. It’s their word against yours.Two voices against one!

Without any solid proof, the wife is more than likely to go with the version of events that creates the least amount of upheaval in her life. That means you’re more likely to be cut from the circle of trust than the alleged mistress or the husband.

Another possible scenario here is that they will see you as jealous or as someone who  has some issue with the wife or maybe bad blood with the husband, and you  want to upset their relationship. The “girl-friend”  may not have even had sex with the husband. You don’t really know what’s going on here, which is why I advise folks  to keep your mouth shut, and stay out of peoples business.

The girl-friend on the side has ammo, but she has settled for less than she is hoping for ! either way, she always loose!

Maybe the “girl-friend” did have or is having an affair with the husband. So she holds the cards. If you believe something is up and you must say something, pull her aside and speak to her about your discomfort with what she’s not told you . Add that you don’t appreciate her involving you in their drama, and encourage her to end the affair and confess to the wife about what’s going on. LOL. this only works in the movies. 

If the wife ever discovers that an affair between the "girl- friend" and the husband took place and that you (as everyone's friend) may have known, your loyalty bases are covered. You can always say: " I didn't have solid proof."

One more thing: If You don’t want to judge your friend,   it’s OK to have standards and not just accept anything that comes your way. It's Your mutual friends who have broken boundaries, and she, the girl-friend,  is absolutely capable of betraying  you in the same way she did her other friend. so now you are warned You (as an innocent bystander)  are likely best served by distancing yourself from everyone after you tell them what’s on your mind.