8/24/2014

Men just want to be desired!

Out in the World, there are so many married men walking around frustrated, I know because I was one of them not too long ago. They feel hurt, dejected, and flat out annoyed by the situation they have been faced with. They don’t know what else to do, and the same question just keeps repeating in their mind, “why oh why won’t this woman give me some more love in the form of passionate sex?”

Yeah that is pretty much the honest truth about what many husbands go through. I acknowledge there are wives experiencing the same, but this blog post  is about the men, so stay focused. Sometimes the issue isn't about the amount of sex, but the fact that their wife isn't initiating it enough. Some women may say, “well if he is still getting it, then what’s the problem?” Well a problem can still easily arise, and here is why a wife should make a greater effort to initiate sex with her husband.

He Doesn't Always Know When You’re In The Mood
For most women, sexual receptiveness is contingent upon the state they are in mentally and emotionally. For most men, sexual desire is contingent on when they feel horny and aroused. Unfortunately those two don’t always line up at the right time which can contribute to many husbands not getting the amount of sex they desire. When hanging with my buddies and their wives at sports night gatherings in the past  I always encourage the wives to take advantage of when they know the stars have aligned and they are in a positive mind state. This is a great time to initiate sex with their husbands because they will have a better chance of enjoying it or at the least have enough strength to get through it.

It Expresses Desire
As much as men enjoy sex, most (if not all) also enjoy feeling truly desired by their partner. When a husband has to constantly be the one to initiate sex, it starts to take a toll on him mentally and emotionally. He may start to feel unwanted, and that will start to chip away at his ego and create other issues in the marriage. Even if his wife always agrees to having sex with him, that still doesn't eliminate the potential concern that she doesn't truly desire him. That can easily translate into lackluster sex, which can lead to the man not caring to have sex with his wife at all (this is not good). Wives should be mindful of this and find ways to help create more desire which both parties need in a marriage.
No matter how much some may want to dismiss or downplay it, the fact remains that sex is extremely essential for a man in his marriage. A husband needs sex, and though he isn't going to physically die if he doesn't get it, he will die a little on the inside if his wife continues to neglect him sexually.(which explains why men often die before their wives) Seriously, when sex in marriage gets overlooked you can be certain there will be a very negative impact. So a wife who makes time to initiate sex, is a wife who is showing a willingness to pour into her husband one of the things he needs. Notice I said “one” of the things, because it takes much more than sex to keep a husband truly happy in his marriage, but we will save those other things for a different post.

Keep it fresh and spontaneous
Any wife or potential wife reading this, I want to encourage you to initiate more sex in your marriage. Take time to find out how often your husband truly desires to have sex, and try to come to some level of compromise to give him what he needs. Do not take this as a dismissal of what a husband should do to create a healthier sex life with his wife. A greater effort is needed on both ends in order to get things on the right track. You don’t want to continue the negative cycle, help to break it by finding ways to create a better sex life and a better marriage overall.


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