Is it exclusive dating, or not?

 OK I'm very late. I just finally watched "Think Like a Man." which prompted me to write this blog post  about exclusive dating.  So if you are kissing each other over the Internet, you are not really kissing!

You are  not in a committed relationship, just because  you are dating someone ( not getting physical that often ). Another guy has asked you out on a date, which you accepted. ( because he matches the profile you think you want, remember a "new person should always be an upgrade" ) Now your friends are giving you grief, saying; and I quote: "you  should date one person at a time and give the current relationship  a chance to grow." So Are they  wrong?

Your friends are good people who are giving you BAD advice. They are wrong if you are not exclusive.

Exclusivity is for committed relationships, and if you  aren't in one, you shouldn't act like you are. If the guy you’re dating doesn't want you to see other people, , then he should offer you a commitment and a title (my girlfriend, my Lady, my woman, my fiance.) And just so you know, if he hasn't asked you to be in a exclusive relationship, he’s not exclusive to you—and he shouldn't be. He’s single! And so are YOU!

Here’s the thing: What if you date this guy for months, finally ask him, “Where is this going?” and he comes back with, “I like things the way they are” or “I just want to be friends with benefits.” Then you've invested months getting to know someone who’s never going to be your man, and you’re left disappointed with no options on your plate. You’re stuck either sticking with a guy who doesn't want to commit, and maybe trying to convince him to change his mind (pointless), or starting over from scratch after months invested and no commitment to show for it. That’s a waste of your pretty time.

Exclusivity is also a resource. One of the many reasons that men commit, other than “just” liking you, is that they see you have a lot to offer. A man knows that if he sees it, other men will notice that, too, and he doesn't want you entertaining the thoughts of other men.

A commitment is an attempt to keep you all to himself. When you give exclusivity away, you’re giving away one good reason for him to commit. He’s got one of the big bonuses of a relationship (and likely others, too) without actually being in one anyway. What’s the incentive here?

I challenge you to rethink what dating is—not a relationship status but an activity... A process of elimination . Your goal while doing this activity is to have fun and evaluate the person you’re dating to see if you actually like him. That’s it. so Ladies , After you've spent a few months—you need to see his ups and, more important, his downs—then you discuss a relationship.

When you meet a man, even if you like him, don’t shut yourself off from other men. Keep going out, keep flirting, keep meeting people, and keep going on dates with anyone you find interesting and/or attractive to. He is.

The “rules” for dating multiple people are simple:

* Do not date two people on the same day (tacky).

* Do be honest if one of the people you’re dating asks if you are dating other people. It’s generally an unspoken assumption for single people. If you’re new to dating the right way and don’t know what to say, offer this: “I enjoy our time together, but I’m also exploring my options!”

* Do be exclusive to the person you’re on a date with when you are out. That means when he gets up to go to the men’s room, you don’t holler at the guy sitting at the bar. You also put your phone away and don’t take calls or return texts from the other men you’re seeing. I know, you just thought, “Isn't that obvious?” Actually, no. I've been asked several times if it’s OK to answer the phone. It isn't. Would you want someone to do that to you?

* Do not have sex with more than one person (high risk for sexually transmitted infections STD), if you choose to have sex with the person you’re dating. Dating doesn't automatically mean, “Let’s have sex!” It means getting to know people and evaluating them to see if they are a good match. Or just having fun, depending on what you’re looking for. Be honest with yourself and your date about what you’re looking for. If you’re not sure, say so.

* Do recognize that being exclusive is a resource you don’t giving away, without an end game plan.