Marriage is worth more than the paper

Alright now!

Married by mistake or divorced due to lack of effort?

Let’s draw simple comparisons. A One dollar bill is no different from the paper of the $100 bill. We just value the $100 bill more, because we can trade it for more things that we want. If we  lose or spend one dollar we don’t really feel no great loss or major regret (unless it was your last $1.) However, if we gamble and lose $100 bill, we instantly have major regrets and sense of loss. The same thing happens with a marriage or a relationship. A valuable marriage that winds up in a divorce, hits both parties hard. No one walks away without scares and hurt of the losses which can really linger for a long time. Time invested, an effort put forth, assets purchased together that you no longer share after you split up, and even love and passion. You take 48% and your now ex get’s maybe 48% of your assets. When you look in the rearview mirror as you start your new journey on a single lane road. The rear view is a reminder of what you once invested in the marriage. Your friends and even family members might encourage you to leave your partner but they have not paid the price you have…. and they will not feel the losses that you will feel. So listen to them if you want, but ask the simple question How much do they have invested?

The hurt and pain of remembering what “was $100” will push your buttons for a long period even bringing tears to your eyes, every time your memory of what was is triggered by something. Just watch how some women talk about betrayals and monogamy …. Men may not have the same issues as women but men also “lose their minds” if they find out that they have been betrayed by the woman they love.

An Alphalicious person can’t handle being betrayed.

Men can’t handle another man touching his woman.

• No man fully accepts a woman after she has cheated on him (that $100 bill marriage is now of way less value)

• When a man’s past comes up, about his “cheating ways” he generally heads for his cave. We men become overly sensitive at those times and need a lot of acceptance, but turning to his wife who has been “cheated on” will not work too well for him because he rejected her when he cheated she is at the bottom of her “well” because of his infidelity already, and is not feeling him at that point. Acceptance denied!

• When a woman’s past comes up that’s when her self-esteem crashes. She descends into the bottom of “her well,” her feelings need tender loving care to bring out of it. If she does not get it from the man she is with her self-esteem stays low.  Then, maybe, the office husband might give her the attention she needs, temporally. Women seldom get caught having an affair. Because it takes a whole lot for her to cross that line. Men are more spontaneous maybe because men know the headcount out in a players world favors the guys, So a “side-chick” is almost always available, to satisfy his temporary needs. But a wife who is not getting the attention she needs will ponder for a long while before she steps into that….meet the office husband at “the motel 6” for or a drink that might end up between the sheets.   If they get caught then the mess will hit the fan so she will delay going there for a long period of time.
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• No woman fully forgives a man  after he has “cheated” on her (that $100 bill is now of way less in value)

As the roles of men and women have now changed a little bit:

- Where women still feel like they deserve the treatment their mothers received, back in the day, when men brought home all the bacon. Women have also embraced their independence of self-empowerment, which they have fought for (the $50 bill is what she has earned by herself)  but it’s only all hers if she is single.

- And men still feel that women are their possessions like their father’s felt. (the $50 bill is what he has earned and spent it on his family) he can only claim that he is the breadwinner if his woman does not work outside of the home( but she is also contributing)

Final thoughts

Here in lies the conflict the $100 bill cannot be split into equal shares you need (2) $50 bills to spit it… so you can’t just rip the $100 bill in equal halves and have it keep its value. Once you rip it (the divorce puts both partners at a disadvantage) what was “whole” will never be the same for either partner. She will have regrets, he will have regrets. Both invested in the relationship but now neither have much from that relationship left to enjoy. A $100 bill cannot be split, it can only be traded and you will both lose in the exchange.

So ask yourselves in the exchange scenario how much of a % do you want to give away to the lawyers to handle your splitting up?

If you wait until “death does you part” then the remaining spouse can claim the $100 bill but still has lost the spouse.

I can hear single folks thinking. What the hell?