Call me crazy.... but I have seen it done. I understand things better now that
I have matured a bit and think back about what made a marriage work for years.
When a man feels appreciated for listening and he doesn’t feel rejected for not sharing more,
he will gradually begin to open up more. When he feels as though he doesn’t have to talk more about his feelings, then naturally he will. But first, he needs to feel accepted.
If his woman is frustrated by his silence she is forgetting that men are from Mars!
Women these days are more independent, So when things are not going well women released their resentment towards their man because they are expecting too much from their counterpart.
I have matured a bit and think back about what made a marriage work for years.
When a man feels appreciated for listening and he doesn’t feel rejected for not sharing more,
he will gradually begin to open up more. When he feels as though he doesn’t have to talk more about his feelings, then naturally he will. But first, he needs to feel accepted.
If his woman is frustrated by his silence she is forgetting that men are from Mars!
Women these days are more independent, So when things are not going well women released their resentment towards their man because they are expecting too much from their counterpart.
Warning: the following are signs for men that she may be going into her wave mode when she needs his support and his love the most. Men need to understand what is happening....
and should play it "cool"
and should play it "cool"
She feels: “Overwhelmed.”
She may say: “ There is too much to do.”
She feels: “Insecure.”
She may say: “ I need more, from you.”
She feels: “Resentful”
She may say: “I do everything, and you don’t help me”
She feels: “Worried.”
She may say: “ But what about …....”
She feels: “Confused.”
She may say: “ I don’t understand why…..”
She feels: "Why doesn't he have an answer for this?"
The following are things that obstruct the intimacy cycle for men,
as he wants/ needs to go into his cave.
as he wants/ needs to go into his cave.
Physical - when a man pulls away, a woman may physically follow him.
He may walk into another room and she follows.
Or she does not do the things she wants to do so that she can be with her partner.
He may walk into another room and she follows.
Or she does not do the things she wants to do so that she can be with her partner.
Emotional - she emotionally follows him, She worries about him.
She wants to help him feel better. She feels sorry for him.
She smothers him with attention and praise.
She wants to help him feel better. She feels sorry for him.
She smothers him with attention and praise.
Mental - She may try to pull him back mentally by asking him guilt-inducing questions such as
“How could you treat me this way? or “What’s wrong with you?”
or “Don’t you realize how much it hurts me when you pull away from me?
“How could you treat me this way? or “What’s wrong with you?”
or “Don’t you realize how much it hurts me when you pull away from me?
Learning that forming togetherness requires understanding,
both men and women have had to adjust to these realities.
But it’s hard to argue with a woman when she insists that the burden
of the modern day, relationships fall more heavily on the woman.
both men and women have had to adjust to these realities.
But it’s hard to argue with a woman when she insists that the burden
of the modern day, relationships fall more heavily on the woman.
Ladies, a man’s "past" may affect his intimacy cycle.
The natural cycle in a man may already be obstructed from his childhood.
How dysfunctional was his childhood? He may be afraid to pull away because he witnessed his mother’s disapproval of his father’s emotional distancing.
Such a man may not even know that he needs to pull away.
He may unconsciously create arguments to justify pulling away from his woman.
How dysfunctional was his childhood? He may be afraid to pull away because he witnessed his mother’s disapproval of his father’s emotional distancing.
Such a man may not even know that he needs to pull away.
He may unconsciously create arguments to justify pulling away from his woman.
This kind of man naturally develops more of his feminine side but at the expense of suppressing some of his masculine power.
He is an extremely sensitive man. He tries hard to please and be loving but loses part of his masculine self in the process. He feels guilty pulling away.
Without knowing what has happened he loses his desire, power, and passion;
he becomes passive or overly dependent. He may be afraid to be alone or to go into his cave.
He may think he doesn’t like being alone because deep inside he is afraid of losing love.
He has already experienced that feeling in his childhood, his mother rejecting his father and indirectly rejecting him the son because he looks like his father.
He is an extremely sensitive man. He tries hard to please and be loving but loses part of his masculine self in the process. He feels guilty pulling away.
Without knowing what has happened he loses his desire, power, and passion;
he becomes passive or overly dependent. He may be afraid to be alone or to go into his cave.
He may think he doesn’t like being alone because deep inside he is afraid of losing love.
He has already experienced that feeling in his childhood, his mother rejecting his father and indirectly rejecting him the son because he looks like his father.
Understanding this male intimacy cycle is just as important for men as it is for women.
Some men feel guilty needing to spend time in their cave or they may get confused when they start to pull away and then later spring back.
They may mistakenly think something is wrong with them.
It’s such a relief for both men and women to understand these secrets about men.
Some men feel guilty needing to spend time in their cave or they may get confused when they start to pull away and then later spring back.
They may mistakenly think something is wrong with them.
It’s such a relief for both men and women to understand these secrets about men.
Wise men and women learn to accept, what is!
When a wise man gains insight into how women are affected by his intimacy cycle,
a man can recognize the importance of sincerely listening when a woman speaks,
he understands respects her need to be reassured that he is interested in her and he does care.
Whenever he is not needing to retreat, the wise man takes the time to initiate the conversation by asking his female how she is feeling.
He grows to understand his own cycles and reassures her when he retreats that he will return.
He might say “ I need some time to be alone and then we will have
some special time together with no distractions.”
Or if he starts his reverse actions while she is talking he might
say” I need some time to think about this and then we can talk about it.”
a man can recognize the importance of sincerely listening when a woman speaks,
he understands respects her need to be reassured that he is interested in her and he does care.
Whenever he is not needing to retreat, the wise man takes the time to initiate the conversation by asking his female how she is feeling.
He grows to understand his own cycles and reassures her when he retreats that he will return.
He might say “ I need some time to be alone and then we will have
some special time together with no distractions.”
Or if he starts his reverse actions while she is talking he might
say” I need some time to think about this and then we can talk about it.”
OK. maybe she will grasp what he is doing and not push, or pull him.
<smirking> but when she does not fully want to grant him time alone.
She will probe him about why he left and needed to be in his cave, without her.
She will probe him about why he left and needed to be in his cave, without her.
I can't make you love me!
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