Our initial image introduction speak volumes.

We, men, are visual creatures we see.... we evaluate..... and we decide. Should we “ chase or not to chase her” that is the question. Very often the decision is made in an instant. The image (woman)  is looking very appetizing. Let’s take a moment to think for a second: “is she looking at me because she is thinkings I’m handsome” or is she thinking something else….. no doubt women have many thoughts instantly. But men don’t review their feelings like women do, we men have just a few thoughts when we see a woman who appeals to our senses.

Why should we start thinking too much?  Seldom do we go through these thoughts:

• she looks smart and probably has a good heart…

• maybe she is already taken!

• Maybe that fact that she is looking my way is a good sign, invitation to engage in dialogue.

• What if I approach her, will her response be friendly?

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In a man's thoughts: "Why is she looking at me as if
she is also lusting after me ....like I’m lusting after her?"

OK, that way of going through too much thinking, (overthinking) is not what happens, in a man’s brain.

Let’s look at how we learn to communicate. Successful communication would be second nature if we grew up in families that were already capable of honest communication. But in previous generations, so-called affectionate communication generally meant avoiding negative emotions. It was often as if communication that revealed too much of our feelings would be shameful, something to be locked away and hidden in a closet. In less communicative families men/boys develope not very strong communication skills. Unless their sisters or mother talked to them and required a response, that was positive, that also needed honesty in their responses. Considered that many have received communication that might include acting out of rationalizing negative emotions through physical punishment, yelling, spankings, whippings, and all kinds of verbal abuse- all in the name of trying to help the boy learn right from wrong. Had our parents learned to communicate lovingly, we as boys would have been safe to discover and explore our own negative reactions and feelings through trial and error. Through positive role models, we would have learned successfully how to communicate--- especially our difficult feelings, we would have gradually learned to express our feelings respectfully and appropriately. If this had been the case, then we would not need to think about how to speak to a woman in a loving tone, instead of being predatorial coming after her with lust in our eyes.

Maybe this outfit will get me noticed and
the women will see instantly that I mean business!

If only our past were different.

Had our past been different, we would have watched our father successfully and lovingly listen to our mother to expand and express love and even her frustrations and disappointments. Daily we would have experienced our father giving our mother the loving caring and understanding that she needed from her loving, understanding husband

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We would have watched our mother trusting our father and sharing her feelings openly, without disapproving or blaming him. We would have experienced how a person could be upset without pushing someone away with mistrust, emotional manipulation, avoidance, disapproval, condescension, or coldness.

Throughout our teen years of growing up, we would gradually be able to master our own emotions just as we have mastered walking or even math. It would be a learned skill, like walking, jumping, singing, reading and balancing a checkbook.

But it didn’t happen that way for many of us. Instead, we spent eighteen years learning unsuccessful communication skills. Because we lack the education in how to communicate positive/negative feelings, it is a difficult and seemingly insurmountable task to communicate with affection when we are having negative thoughts.

So why do I have to climb these stairs just to find out,
she has already locked the door?  

Final thoughts:

show your  appreciation and he will do things 
you don't normally see much these days

Men do not have instant thoughts of opening up and sharing their feelings honestly if we are afraid of being rejected.

How do we talk to a lady with loving language if our feeling tells us“ she may hate me:? She has already decided she does not like me… (how I look, how I came over to her without an invitation etc)

The unspoken message we receive is what we react to and try to counter.  Communication or come across as a smooth-talking dude sounding totally fake to women who have heard all those fake lines before. Men have to jump over speed bumps and hurdles and even learn to climb over Trump's fake wall, to get to the point where his interest in a woman is not being misinterpreted. Or his sincerity is doubted instantly!
Where his intentions are honestly spelled out, expressing interest in her…. And even then he might still have to walk on eggshells to avoid any slip-ups.