You are never upset for the reason you think.

She is really testing my patience!
but I can get over my negative feelings quickly if I try.

As I practice writing and exploring my feelings I often discover that generally, I can get upset for different reasons than I first think. By experiencing and feeling the deeper reasons, negativity tends to disappear. Just as I suddenly can be gripped by negative emotions I can also suddenly release them. These are a few examples:

• Years ago … one morning I woke up feeling annoyed with my partner. Whatever she did disturb me. As I wrote her a text msg I discovered that I was really upset with my mother for being so controlling. These feelings were just coming up because I had dreamed about my mom the night before and she was scolding me for something I neglected to do. As I texted my lady I imagined I was back when I was feeling controlled. After I texted the msgs suddenly I was no longer upset with my lady.

• When my profession was too demanding. I was always busy meeting deadlines at work. When I came home my now ex-wife felt extremely resentful and angry. One part of her understood the stress I was under, but emotionally she was still angry. She wrote me a letter, I found it the other day as I was going through some of my old papers. In her letter, she wrote she discovered that she was angry with her father for leaving her to grow up with a mother that resented having given birth to her as a teenage mother. As a child, she had felt powerless and abandoned, and these feelings were again coming up to be healed. She wrote a letter to me telling me about my not being home on time and she didn’t like it. Which made her angry at me (because of her father’s neglect).  

• Women can think about the words she wants to hear as a good thing. Until a man says “I love you” <smiling> and if he then tells her he wants to make a commitment. The next thing that happens is her mood suddenly changes. She begins to have a lot of doubts and her passion disappears, As she discovers that she was now angry with her father for being so passive and hurting her mother. For example! She has to release her negative feeling before she can feel attracted to her guy again.

Final thoughts

 

Just as love or anger may bring up our past unresolved feeling, so does getting what you want. I remember when I first learned about this. Many years ago I began to see a pattern in many situations. I could not explain what was happening to me, so these unresolved emotions cost me big time.