How Strong is Your connection to each other?

New Cars are easy to maintain, relationships aren't like cars: Change the oil, check the belts, rotate the tires, done. Relationship maintenance is a bit more difficult. So after consulting the experts, I developed this diagnostic check to help us assess the wear and tear on your marital vows. Instead of taking your marriage into the shop and having someone else look at it, these tools are about learning to listen to the important cues in your relationship, Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart. Here's how to make sure you and your special  lady   are firing on all cylinders.

The following are a few things i have experienced... so these are  some things I know a little about. 
my perspective.

Togetherness

I really couldn't care less!

When you gingerly mention that you'd like to go away for a weekend on a buddies only trip , what is your wife's reaction? Does she hassle you about spending more time with her? If the answer is yes, breathe easy. When a woman is engaged in a relationship with all her heart, she's high-maintenance. (Uh, hooray?) But if she used to demand attention and doesn't anymore, don't chalk it up to her accepting you for who you are. She may have given up her efforts to save your connection, and moved on to her own time-consuming pursuits, things like "looking for a exit strategy, finding a lawyer, and planning a new life with out you. 

Intimacy

What are we not doing Right?

Let's think about sex for a minute( surprise, we men think about sex every other minute, but hang with me for a second) . Okay, it has been a little while—that's normal after you have Kids and have  a job that is time demanding these  are lousy aphrodisiacs. The first red flag is when there's a change in your sexual relationship, Perhaps Saturday-morning cartoons used to mean you locked yourselves in the bedroom, but now it's when she schedules manicures? What about the rare weekends when you are alone together? Does she relish those nights? Ask yourself, Is she just going through the motions and getting it over with? Men tune-in (women Lean-in)  to make sure your partner is getting what she wants.

Communication 

All couples fight.....we are not all the Honeymooners ( I just remembered Ralph Kramdon). The question to ask yourself is, What happens next? If your wife acts reasonably pleasant, do you assume she's over it and just go on with your day? If so, there could be trouble brewing. Women will brood for months about words spoken. If you've cleared the air completely......for example, if she can laugh about it now.....you're okay. If not, it's likely that she's "still hurting or expecting an apology." Warning: Pent-up resentment, is like rust, is corrosive. Therefore, I recommends approaching your wife after a blowup to ask how she's doing. Yes, it's scary, because she might blast you again, but it's better to know that there's tension than not to know.

Socializing

To single single Life!

Who is she hanging out with? If your social world involves playing basketball with other married guys, and she takes on new friends who are single....or pulls away from your married friends......you're orbiting different suns and that will make you grow apart, adding that this move is often totally unconscious, but it can be dangerous. While a married woman is inclined to offer her female friend advice on how to overcome conflict with her husband, single women are more likely to say: " Come join us!" After all, Single people love having single friends.  But don't bail on your guy friends. You need them, and they need you. I can think of Four reasons why poker night or fight night  might save your career, your marriage, your sanity and even your life.

Jealousy

I so hate you right now!

At a holiday party, you spend a few minutes chatting with a co-worker  who could pass for a model. When you get home, does your wife say, "Who was that floozy/scank?" If so, feel good about your marriage,  A hint of jealousy means that she thinks you're attractive, she expects other women to find you attractive, and she wants you all to herself. Sometimes men process a lack of jealousy as ....a free pass to flirt with other women. Think about that. If she really doesn't give a rip, it's not a good thing. It means she's less invested, She might be thinking that if you left for another woman, it wouldn't be so bad. 

Travel 

My connecting flight was delayed 

It’s entirely healthy for spouses to spend time away from each other while traveling and at home, too. Spouses are still individual people with separate identities and different interests. It’s also a great thing to let your partner miss you just a little every now and then, therefore let him or her appreciate your being around just a little more.

Or, as one married woman put it, “everything in life cannot be about the hubs. Some experiences can be for just you and the girls.” well I agree.

Clearly, for some, traveling without a spouse is a “thing.” In all the stories that I’ve shared, you may have  noticed a common denominator. The problem is always what “they” would say—what will those family members and random folks who always have something to say  when you  both go off in different directions often. Just  wondered What does your spouse think? Because if you don’t have a problem with it and the spouse doesn’t have a problem with it, is it really a problem?