How much influence does an ex-lover exert over your current life?

It may seem over,
but I'm not done with you!

Men don’t usually have major problems with a former lover as women do, unless they had children together. Let’s face it women have been known to try and control an ex lover’s life, after the breakup, by using their children as pons. If she does not like her ex’s  new woman for whatever reason, she might or will use the children to control his life. Pull his chain,so to speak!

Men do it, also, to some degree,  but they usually have visitation rights, restrictions because  they seldom have custody of their children. Men can be spiteful and neglect their children just to mess up their ex-woman’s mind. Or if their finances are still connected in some way, the fights will be over money and control.  The problems usually stem from jealousy, these are ex(s) who can’t let go of the leash. They resent that their ex has moved on with their lives, without them. They don’t want their ex to have a better life with someone else than they are having in their current status. The question, that pops up in my mind is; why is this such a  serious problem for many folks? If the relationship ended on reasonable terms. Then let them go. Being bitter only hurts everybody involved, the children, and especially the bitter person.

Even when they are in a relationship themselves, they can’t seem to let go of the past.

I’ve become very good at letting go, and moving forward, not interfering unless I’m needed. My experience has taught me if you are no longer wanted, needed, or appreciated... Just move on, life is too short to be holding on to the past. My absence will leave a void or it will be a welcomed vacancy. No one has ever been able to accuse me of staying in the mix where I am not wanted. I exit and move far away, or I avoid invading  the other person’s space, you will never see me again in person… OK never is too strong a word.. But you will seldom see me. This is a simple policy that has allowed me to let go and move on with my life. It’s not perfect but it is very satisfying to me.

People sometimes think that they are being missed when they are not even being thought about.

When people are a  couple they should put their  heads together and make things work, for the betterment of their lives, when you are no longer together…... let each other go, and find happiness else where.

It’s not always easy, but just think of it as “ peace of mind” that comes with leaving your past in the past, it is so worth it, not to be in a stressful state of mind. It took me a few breakups, to realize I was not God’s gift to the women, I had relationships with. They may have loved me a for short while until they came to grips with the facts that I could not walk on water, and that I was not going to bend over backwards to please them. And when it was over it was over, no regrets just appreciation for the times that we had together. Why am I always quoting these old schools lyrics?  Well it’s probably because I still listen to old school music. From time to time. “Let’s just Kiss and say goodbye!”  

We loved each other for a season,

now we will have to part for good a reason.

Final thoughts

The waves of emotions, will eventually become calmer seas. The crashes of the wave will be painful for awhile but then the sea will calm down and you can float, and cruise without much drama. So learn to weather the storms and think of things  this way.

If you have a bucket of water, and you stick your hand in it, and even if  you stir it around, creating waves or rings of swirling water, when you remove your hand, the water will flow back and fill the area where you hand was, as if it was never there. So therefore my exit will not be missed in time.  If you want to come into my life the door is open, If you want exit my life the door is open. Just do not stand at the door way, you are blocking traffic of my happiness.  

I don’t know about you …. I intend to do the following. I will start each day with  a grateful heart. The people you left will never support you because they are afraid of what you might become without them.