So How can delaying gratification result in possibly never satisfied?

OK, so the person you might be …. very attracted to….. seems unattainable,  but they still make your heart skip a beat every time you see them. You subscribe to the delay gratification theory, so you just wait to be approached? It can be worth it, to wait until the timing is right. But solitude and being safe can morph into lonely. So , I've heard!  Who is to say the time will ever be right for the both of you, at the same time. Your “right time” might be the other persons “wrong time”. Seldom is the  timing of two people who really do not know each other... or do not have social contact often result in being in sync with each other. It’s not like when you were is elementary school that you see each other every day and you played on the opposite sides of the playground at recess. Each of you Hanging with your friends and eyeing each other hoping one of you will make the move and you can hold hands and walk off together into the sunset.

Life as an adult has too many complicated situations…. Too many forks on the roads, that could push or draw you off course.

You might hit your stride, and the other person might not hit their stride on your timeline, or even travel in the same direction as you are going.

You might think there is an infinite amount of time but the other person has a limited amount of time, their window  of engagement is of a different size than yours.

You might have gotten where you wanted to be, career wise, even personal accomplishments etc...  early in life but the economy shifted and your window of growth shifted causing it to shrink way more than you ever thought possible.

The other person is in a different time zone, mentally, and maybe even physically, and spiritually. They have different goals and expectations, so you may have waited too long to get that elusive connection going.

If you had not waited then maybe you could have gotten what you dreamed about.

The right time is relevant to what you believe is the exact right time. We have all done things for instant gratifications, except the things we are scared of failing at, we try the delayed gratification approach. People have failed at many things it’s called experiencing and learning. Failing a test is only a major set back if you have not learned something from it, and you stay stuck in a rut.

For Example: count the amount of people, you know personally,  who have experienced failed relationships. Maybe the number will overwhelm you or you might be surprised that many relationships have not really failed… they were not meant to be together forever, just for a few  seasons or less. Timelines are tricky. They cannot be predicted or even anticipated the outcome. Trusting that your have feelings, for someone, isn’t always correct on time, this is where people often miscalculate the outcome.  

I'm so glad I made that move at the right time!

I keep looking out over the horizon, is his ship ever going to appear?

So when is it really the right time for both of you?  

Smiling together is way better than, dreaming about smiling together.

Smiling after you had a wonderful time together, is way better than hoping that you will one day experience what you have been dreaming about.

My guess…. is…. there is no better time than the present. Kiss yesterday goodbye, and point your hopes towards tomorrow. This was a song (that popped into my head) I may have just messed up the lyrics. I think it went something like that.

Time waits for no one, You can even fly around the world in the opposite direction at the speed of light, i.e. travel from West to East and never go back in time.  You will discover that the direction you are traveling in is not really East, the Earth is round so you will circle it, at some point you will be in the West….. Or back at your starting point.

However the time has already changed, you will not find things the same way you left them.

  

Final thoughts

After things changed for me a few years ago I decided to read a book titled:

“Who moved my cheese?

It really set me straight on the changes that can occur in life, if we expect things to always stay the same, things will change as we may be  too satisfied with the way things are. The book had 4 characters, 2 small humans and 2 mice named scurry and snoop, in a maze. The mice adjusted and accepted the fact that they had eaten all the cheese, so they ran around the maze everyday looking for new cheese, while the 2 humans waited for things to change back to way they had gotten used to, and a new supply of cheese would some day magically appear out of  nowhere for their consumption. Talk about miscalculations. The mice didn’t have logical minds they worked by instinct. They scurried around and sniffed until they hit a new supply of fresh cheese everyday. They never sat and waited, or even calculated. Now think about the delay gratification you are waiting for, it may never come to you, if you just keep waiting! The result may possibly end in never happily satisfaction?