So are women of this 21st century still Hero worshipers? I was curious about that as I was talking to some women, who are less impressed with “macho men of these days”. OK men have been focusing on looking as good as possible rock hard abs 6 or 8 packs, chiseled chess and 29 inch biceps.
“But what else is there to them?” this is what a young woman in her mid twenties asked me, “Can he build me my dream house with all of those muscles or is he just for show?”
Obviously she is not that impressed with just the physics and chemistry, and the possibility between the sheets. That’s all good, but what else can he do for her is what she wanted to know. Women these days can afford to walk on a car lot and into a bank and buy and finance a brand new car. They may have some saving to start building a home of their own or invest in a condo with a view of the ocean. So if she can do all that for herself, by herself, then what does she need a man for? Any man she gets involved with needs to step into her life and bring her the things she can’t do for herself to the table. I hear these women venting that guys these day are not stepping forward with a plan that women can buy into. If she wants a family then she also wants security in the event that she might have to take time off from her career, to have a baby or two. She wants a man that can carry the load during her down time. So what is he bringing to the table? He doesn’t have to be a Billionaire, or even a Millionaire, but his income needs to be able to cover them for a period when she can’t contribute as much as she can right now. So one young lady turned to me and asked me “when did you buy your first home and how did you do it. She also wanted to know if I did it without help. So I told her I got married young and my bride and I saved her paychecks for two+ years to have a good down payment for our dream home while I paid for the two new car notes and the rent and all our combined bills, so that we could build our first home. I was in my mid-twenties, my bride was in her early twenties. We had our first home built before we started a family and years later we moved to an upgraded home and got divorced after being together, on the same page, during the building years. Once we no longer had plans for growth together we split. So she asked me if my then wife was not scared in the beginning of investing all of her paychecks in a dream. I said: 'she might have been but she knew that I had also committed to making our joint venture work. I even paid off her student loan, during that period, well her student loan was only for 2 years of college…. Which it’s now way less the cost of what it is these days. We planned and worked together.' She shook her head “that will not work so easily these days…” So I said calmly: 'who said it was easy?' It took discipline, and an unwavering commitment.' Then came the tough questions “ you are divorced so what went wrong?” the answer was not something I wanted to answer in details so I declined to answer with specifics. So I said: ‘You see life has forks in the road and on you journey you might get to that fork in the road and one might want to go right and the other left. Stuff happens and stuff happened in our case. We were great at building together but not that great at staying together. When you start of your relationship with a plan then your plans and desires rule your thoughts, goals and dreams taking place on the front burner in you reasons for doing things. But when you start wanting different things then you run into that fork in the road.’
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There are a few homes listed in our price range do you want to
start making appointment to go check them out?
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Final thoughts.
Could I still do what we did... with a new partner today. Maybe... maybe not, I think I would have to find another woman who would want to do what it takes to make our combined dreams come together, no different than what my parents did way back then… And Yes…. my dad build his first two homes himself physically with some help from family and friends. I was fortunate to have a very well paying career at that time we started and therefore could afford to do things almost the way my dad did it. I just followed the blue print he laid out. My two sons make as much money individually as I did at different points in my career but they are having a tougher time duplicating my dad's blue print. Maybe because they want more and better things than their mother and I did, or their grand parents did. That could be due to the current times they live in but if they put their minds to doing things the right way I’m sure they can accomplish way more than I did, they are surely smart enough. And they can always ask for advice.
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