No man (or woman) is an island.
A recent episode of The Walking Dead featured a community comprised entirely of women, and I found myself having an interesting (and unexpected) reaction to it: I recoiled.
Upon further reflection, I had to admit to myself that the idea of living in a society without women was abhorrent to me. And if forced to choose between the company of only men or the company of only women…well, the zombie apocalypse hasn’t happened yet, so I need not upset anyone with my conclusions on this theoretical subject.
Pondering all of this, I had to acknowledge a double standard I had never considered before…while we generally embrace the concept that men need the support and influence of women to be their best selves, it has become “politically incorrect” to admit that women need men. I wasnt raised in the heart of Generation X, the first generation of women who were unequivocally taught that they are each the captain of our own ship and have
NO. NEED. FOR. MEN. For anything except perhaps a genetic donation, if motherhood is her bag.
Which it totally, 100% need not be. If you are thinking " I am woman, hear me roar."
Both of my grandmothers as was my mother and aunts, were working women in spite of the fact that they were born in the first few decades of the 20th century and enjoyed 30 - 40+ year marriages to traditional (and successful) “hunter-gatherers”. My own Mother, who did not go to college , but went on to work as hair a stylist in business with my aunt. Neither she nor my Dad ever told me that marriage should be a “goal”, their own very happy and productive simple life together notwithstanding.
I was raised by and around women warriors. Ahead of the curve, before their time and every single one of them demonstrated and taught self-sufficiency; I identify myself as an understander of feminist beliefs So how can I still believe that women NEED men? Simple I'm a man, so I know I need women, and hope they in turn need men.
As I have been blessed, in my lifetime, with many varied and rich friendships and relationships with women, I know for a fact that when I turn to a male friend—, married or single and of every other religious creed —I am stricly looking for a “male” perspective. My relationships with women are entirely different, and contrary to popular female opinion, not at all mainly sexual.
There are some key differences to the way men and women relate to each other that I have never duplicated in my same-sex friendships.
I think the transgender community has opened up a dialogue about the masculine and feminine as a core essential truth and not something to be imposed by society or even our physical bodies. As we are allowed to hold to our essential truth of what it means to each of us to be a man or a woman, we embrace the ancient theory of yin and yang, the idea that seemingly opposite or contrary forces may actually be complementary and interdependent. The fact that there are human beings who are born with male or female physical characteristics who self-identify as the other sex provide us with perhaps our greatest proof that gender is not interchangeable but instead a unique viewpoint and way of being in the world.
Generally speaking, there ARE opposing characteristics in evidence that DO provide a wonderful, symbiotic balance. Just as us men need the influence of women to bring out the best in them, women need men to become fully realized. It is the differences in our natures that interplay to create a thriving human race. When we deny each other, we deny ourselves.
There are some stereotypes about the way men relate and the way that women relate that naturally do not and cannot apply to every single member of the sex, but that do have some demonstrable value. Anecdotally, there are some ways in which friendship with a male may be considered “inferior” to friendship with a woman. I might write another blog on that subject.
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