How repressed feels pop up without warnings.

So what's up with these repressed feelings that come at you in the most inopportune times?

The problem with repressed feelings is they don't come up saying "Hi, I am your unresolved  feelings from your past!"
If your feelings of abandonment or rejection from as far back as your childhood start coming up then you will feel you are being abandoned or rejected by the person you love at the present moment. The pain of the past is projected onto the present. Things that are normally not a big deal suddenly hurt a lot.....  for years we may have suppressed our painful feeling. Then one day we fall in love, and love makes us feel safe (for the moment) enough to open up and become aware of our feelings. Love opens up and we start to feel our pain.

Wait, something just does not feel Right!

The even sadder case is that is not gendered specific.  Women get that feeling of abandonment or rejection not more often than men, but women talk more freely and therefore they seem to have these issues more than men. But that is not totally true. Men get these same feeling and even have nightmares about some rejection issues.

A quick example: I was thinking I could just move on after a divorce. Boy oh boy was I wrong. I started dating this one younger woman who has daughters, (so I had an instant family unit again) which she made me have feelings that I once again had it going on. And the reality of rejection in my past (not from an ex-wife) popped up and I snapped. The lady was seeing me  for st the time in a state of mind that she just could not figure out, what happened.... things were going so well between us but I froze her out and could not explain why. I told her we need to take a break from each other. She was confused as to what it was that she might have done to cause me to suddenly hit the pause button. we were on a trip together in Puerto Rico. And I was suddenly hit with these feelings and I want to leave and check out of the hotel after dinner in a nice restaurant in Old San Juan. She thought I was loosing it and since I use to travel a lot before she and I met ... she wanted us to do some traveling together, I would take her places she had never been. I just did not want to invest any more time with her. She probably still wonders why. If she even thinks about me anymore.  The repressed feeling surfaced because when I was 20 years old I met an older woman, just divorce,  who played me like violin.... I  had never been played before or after like that. I got the same sudden feeling with this new woman, who was nothing like the one I knew, way back then, I was not really even a full adult yet. Being played as a young man, fresh in a Metropolitan city like N.Y. city was not an Earth-shattering experience that kind of stuff happens to young guys all the time. You are a sucker when you hit the street and clubs in N.Y. if you have no experience in a big city. I will not go into details. But I will say it's unfortunate that those repressed feels pop up, and it happened with someone who had "done nothing Wrong" almost 30+years later.

Unfortunately, she never had a chance to become my  "Endless love"

.