When a dude makes a woman angry, it’s like being in a building during an earthquake… Trust me, I’ve been there. Doors that seem sturdy are suddenly coming off their hinges, as they are slammed… windows that have proper caulking around them suddenly look and sound like they will pop out of the wall at any minute. I’m <smirking> at my own humor as I’m typing this blog post.
I think I have infuriated a woman or two a few times in my life… as I now recall the things that made them so angry that they could actually make a solid brick house shake.
Those were Not my finest B.A.D. moments.
If the Truth can set you free then why did I get in a World of trouble for telling it? I know this because as it is Valentine's day I remember this story like it happened yesterday. I got in a world of trouble for telling the Gospel truth.
This is a true story. My first assignment as an IT-independent consultant was at a company that was about 40 miles from my home. I hated the drive but the contract was a very good one, and I got compensated for the mileage I put on my car. I knew the manager of the IT department because we had worked together in the past. So he was generous in the compensation because he needed my particular expertise on the project I found the working condition to be to my liking. The building had 6 floors. so whoever was watching could have been on any floor above the ground floor. I seldom lookup if I get the feeling like someone is looking down on me. I'd just bought my BMW 635 Csi. it was "used" but in mint condition
the last year of that model, It had a sun/moon roof and some serious power I always drove it with the moon-roof open... I so loved that car. I would park it at the furthest part of the parking lot, at an angle so no one would ding it with their doors…. My walk to the building was usually a solo walk because I would start work later than the employees and also leave later. To avoid the rush hour traffic. The thing that got me in trouble was as I always walk to my little office which was what they assigned outside consultants it was closest to the back door which I entered through and exited daily. On this particular Valentine's day, I found an interoffice envelope in my inbox. It had a strong perfume fragrance. As if someone had deliberately sprayed it with a perfume. I picked it up and opened it … needless to say, I was totally shocked at the message. I thought it was Valentine's day prank by one of my friends who I went to lunch with daily because they were all jokers and they played pranks all of the time …. I asked around the office if anyone saw who left the envelope in my inbox.. Because it had no sender info on it just my name but No one knew what I was talking about. So I just put in my briefcase. Big mistake! At lunch, I told the fellahs about my secret Valentine’s card and the msg. They all wanted to see it. So I figured one of the bastards had set me up for a good LOL but if not all 3 of them then at least one. I suspect Steve H. had put some female up to doing it. The msg. Read: You are such a sexy man… Happy Valentine's day. I watch you daily... as you drive up and them exit Your BMW and walk to the build you have such confident walk. I particularly love that Jeans shirt you wear sometimes the one with the laced up front and how tight it fits you around your muscles especially around your chess. I know you workout on Thursdays because you look most buff on Friday mornings. I would love to use my teeth to undo those laces. Oooh My Goodness I can’t wait to get you in a private place!
If this msg. Catches your interest give me a sign that you read it... by wearing that Jean shirt again next Casual Friday I will take it as a sign that you are interested in meeting me. I know you are not single and neither am I. so we will have to be discrete. Hearts hearts hearts. And a lips stick lips print a kiss done by some full sexy lips.
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| What did I do? |
Hmmm!. my crime lunch buddies were dying as their ring-leader-prankster Steve H. read it out loud. So I was convinced they had set me up…. Boy was I wrong. Yes, they were capable of such a prank…... But not this time! I took the card home in my briefcase and didn’t try to hide it. Like an idiot…! This is what you do when you are innocent and know you had not done anything wrong…. I put my briefcase down on my desk in my study, as I had some work to do later that evening for the next day. As I sat in my favorite lounge chair watching some TV to unwind with a glass of merlot. At that point, I guess, my significant other was looking for something on my desk and smelt the strong fragance opened my briefcase and yelled at me. “Bertnardo….What the “F” is this?
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| Don't even say anything to me! |
Oops, then it hit me at that point she read the card. “Who is this woman?” So I told the truth …. but the truth did not set me free I got yelled at for an hour straight, doors were slammed as she jumps in her car and went to her aunt’s house. Who came back with her to also yell at me… “you didn’t even have the decency to conceal your affair?” My response: ‘What affair?’ I told the truth I have no idea who sent me Valentine's day card with a msg. Needless to say, I never found out who sent it to me, because a pair of scissors was taken to my shirt and I never got to wear it again. I loved that shirt, too, and I never got to wear it again..never found another one like it. Trust me I went back to the store where I bought It which was an "Old Navy store." I got it on sale and it was the last one when I bought it, which why I bought it looked unique. Damn! I never found out who my secret Valentine was because the unique jeans shirt was history!
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